Family Crap

nanabanana06

So, this may sound like an odd situation. I would wholeheartedly agree with you too. However, I have to tell someone since I am not allowed to talk about it yet.

Anyways, my Aunt and Uncle are getting divorced. They have been married for about 10 years or so and had kids from my Aunt's previous marriage. My Uncle has always been the pervy, tattooed, biker type. However, he was the "cool uncle" as a teen that as I matured turned into a friend. So we chat a lot about life and stuff. Like when I got KU'd he was the first person I told. We trusted each other.

However, within the last few year or so he and my Aunt have been having issues. Our friendship has been under family scrutiny for some time. So we aren't as chummy as we normally would be at family parties just to not get drama. However, the reason they are divorcing is because he has been having online and sexting relationships for a while now. Which apparently my name had came up a few times.

My Uncle and I have a completely platonic relationship. I talk to him about DH, kids, careers, life, ect with some adult humor thrown in. I am not surprised about the sexting and stuff though from him. He is the biggest perv I know, just not with me. I wouldn't ever hurt my Aunt. She is my favorite Aunt. 

So, I guess my issue is that I am hurt that I would even come up in all of this. Also, that it is even happening. I have stopped talking to my Uncle for the time being. I don't want to add to the situation. I also have told my Mother that I knew that we were being scrutinized and that I would never do anything to hurt my Aunt. I also firmly believe in monogamy and my relationship with DH, I wouldn't do anything to hurt that either. 

Ugh, I ate my family sometimes. Help? I kind of just want to ignore it until it resolves. I am not a confrontational person.

Heather R

Wait, back up. Your uncle is sexting people about you? Why is your name coming up in affairs and sexts? Why the hell would your family think you would be having an affair with your uncle?

nanabanana06

Heather R:

Wait, back up. Your uncle is sexting people about you? Why is your name coming up in affairs and sexts? Why the hell would your family think you would be having an affair with your uncle?

I have no freaking idea. Apparently they think it wrong for me to have friendships with "grown ups" as my other Aunt said once. I'm 22, he is like 39.

ETa also they aren't about me. I think what they are implying is that one of them is me.

Heather R

I am probably not helpful because I have no problem dropping family members. But I wouldn't want someone in my life who a) was crazy and grotesque enough to think I would be having an incestuous affair and b) thought so little of me as to place no trust in me.

RayRay007

You might've thought it was platonic and nothing was going on, but you even admit he is a perv so does it surprise you that they thought something was going on? I'm betting he had more than platonic feelings for you.

nanabanana06

Heather R:

I am probably not helpful because I have no problem dropping family members. But I wouldn't want someone in my life who a) was crazy and grotesque enough to think I would be having an incestuous affair and b) thought so little of me as to place no trust in me.

I guess the problem is that the Aunt is the one blood related to me. So I see her an awful lot during the year.

Heather R

You could remind the whole crazy bunch of them that for 3 years, you have been any combination of pregnant, grieving a miscarriage, birthin' babies, or raising a toddler and challenge them to come explain where in there you might have felt energetic and saucy enough for an incestuous relationship.

nanabanana06

Heather R:

You could remind the whole crazy bunch of them that for 3 years, you have been any combination of pregnant, grieving a miscarriage, birthin' babies, or raising a toddler and challenge them to come explain where in there you might have felt energetic and saucy enough for an incestuous relationship.

Lol. not to mention getting married/reconnecting with DH. This is why I just want to hide from this crap. I hate my family.

[Deleted User]

I honestly think you need a step back from all of them.  That's ridiculous. 

littlemac1117

Heather R:

You could remind the whole crazy bunch of them that for 3 years, you have been any combination of pregnant, grieving a miscarriage, birthin' babies, or raising a toddler and challenge them to come explain where in there you might have felt energetic and saucy enough for an incestuous relationship.

  That is beyond weird.

MrsCodeMonkey

Wow! That sucks! Apparently you shouldn't talk to any male member of your family for fear someone would think you're involved.

If I was in your shoes, I'd go out with just your aunt for coffee and talk things through. It might not be your aunt who started the rumors.

mom2pottamus

I am so confused as to why your family would think you were involved; is it b/c you were close to him and they think that you knew what was going on, or that you were actually sexting with him?

WTF is all I can say.

babygrl5507

Been there, done that (similar situation, just different family members). I'm sorry you're going through that!!

A lot of it is insecurity and jealousy. When things aren't working out between two people for whatever reason, it's easier for the person who feels hurt to blame someone else for the problems than to examine the relationship thoroughly and see how he/she contributed to the problem. Your aunt probably had a problem with you two being friends long before now...you're just hearing about it now.

Don't let them make you into a scapegoat. If your aunt is the one bringing your name in it, call her and tell her what you told your mom or what you wrote here. After that, it's your aunt's problem, and you can let her go.

(It won't resolve itself, btw...especially if she's passing that crap around the rest of your family members. If you say nothing, your other family members will assume it's true because people are dumb and they never think to ask for clarification.)

Kitiara5512

Heather R:

You could remind the whole crazy bunch of them that for 3 years, you have been any combination of pregnant, grieving a miscarriage, birthin' babies, or raising a toddler and challenge them to come explain where in there you might have felt energetic and saucy enough for an incestuous relationship.

All of this.

WTAF!

MsAng02

I wouldn't give it two thoughts if I were you. YOU know you're innocent, and your DH knows you're innocent. End of story. I would go about your business with that in mind. Don't let them guilt you into acting suspicious- as people can sometimes want to do. Granted I wouldn't speak with your uncle any longer, and I agree with the PP that he probably had/has some unappropriate feelings for you, cuz seriously, he obviously having them for other people, why not you too? GL!