1st Trimester
Options

Am I being unreasonable? (My mother & Doctor saga!)

According to my mother I am being unreasonable. So, I want some outside opinions. I always start my posts by saying, this is a first time for me. So maybe I am a little over reactive. lol

Here's the story. My LMP was somewhere in between 6/4/12-06/12/12 in that gap, so there may just be a week or so off in my due date, but regardless I am somewhere around 8-9-10 weeks. As soon as I found out I called my doc, who doesnt see patients on her own anymore, she joined a group practice and had to accept me as a new patient there. That took a couple weeks, and I finally had to call to find out if I was accepted. In the mean time I started spotting. When I called to find out if I was accepted I asked the receptionist what I should do if I had any truobles, her only response was... "go to your nearest ER". So she pretty much cut me off and was done with the conversation. So I comforted myself with the fact that a lot of people spot early on and all the good stuff, until one morning, I saw a streak of bright red and had a panic attack. I called my doc at her GYN office and said I was bleeding. She seen me there within an hour and sent me for beta's, and a blood type. Which I did on Friday, and then again on Monday. I didnt hear back until wednesday that my levels were going up normally and the I was RH- and that I needed to go the hospital right away to get a Rhogam injection! So ofcourse, I panic, get to the hospital and ofcourse, they have no order. I had to throw a hissy fit to get them to call her to give them a verbal order. So, then everyone at the hospital is treating me as if I have had a miscarriage which made me even more unhappy. I get the shot, and have not heard a peep from my doc since then. 

So, rewind back to the girl at the actual OB part of the office, she schedules my first appt for September 11th, at which she told me they dont do anything but have you pee in a cup, and come back in a week for a US.

Second half of my saga: I just started a new job. My benefits do not kick in until September 1st. I am not allowed to request time off until September 1st. I feel like I am just swinging in the wind, not knowing if my baby is alive, or healthy, or has a heartbeat, or...? So I started researching other providers in a 50 mile radius of me that have evening hours. I found one about 30 miles away that I could see after work sooner then Sept 11th. I am willing to pay self pay to know my baby is okay, and growing normally.

My mother says I am being unreasonable... that she did not even know she was pregnant until she was six months, and that because I found out so early I am being nutty.

So, do I wait until Sept 11th and then a week later for the US? Or... Do I call the OB that I found that has evening hours thats about a half hour away. My thought is... even if this doc does not deliver my baby, atleast I could see her once and ease my fears, until my benefits kick in and I am allowed to ask for time off?

What would YOU do?

Re: Am I being unreasonable? (My mother & Doctor saga!)

  • Options

    whew! sorry that your going through this. Some doctors offices have the worst customer/patient service. This is an idea. Go to the ER and let them know your spotting but ......  you have to tell them you  have pain in order for them to do an ultrasound. Also are you near aPlanned Parenthood?. I know they do gyn exams as well as ob exams on a sliding scale.

    At the end of the day I would go 30miles away which I  think isn't that far for a piece of mind..........

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options

    It's strange that your OB said you needed the rhogram shot for your first pregnancy. Usually you don't get it until your first pregnancy ends (either via m/c or delivery).

    Regardless, I do think you are overreacting some. It's normal to worry and be nervous, but to consider switching providers and doing self-pay (an u/s can be really expensive) is a little over the top. Many women only have one ultrasound during their pregnancy - the anatomy scan around 20 weeks. I would think about recommending a home doppler to give you reassurance that everything's ok, but you might not be able to find a heartbeat with that until 12 weeks (I've found mine earlier, but there's no guarantee), and I have a feeling you would be a person to panic if you couldn't find it.

    Have you considered looking into whether there's anywhere in your area that does 1st tri elective ultrasounds? They're not medical ultrasounds, but they could give you a peek and reassure you that everything's ok, and they're not nearly as expensive as an out of pocket medical ultrasound.


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    I don't think you are being unreasonable, but it would also be good to stay calm and try not to panic. I am sure your baby is fine. I am constantly reading and it seems a little bleeding is normal as long as there are no major cramps and fever. I say, if you can afford it, then go to the other dr....just to set your mind at ease. Good luck!
  • Options

    I live in a very rural area. We have one hospital and all the OB's are in the same practice. I took my paycheck stubs down and qualifed for a cash pay assistance. It's not the greatest, but I am single women with one income but not low income. I dont think I would make the cut for Medicaid, and my Cigna insurance will kick in October 1st and it has fantastic coverage, so I dont want to take the chance on not getting the Cigna. I just dont think I can wait until October 1st to see a doc :( mentally I think I will stress myself silly over it.

    Someone else suggested I ask my doc just to order an US at the hospital (if they can make a late enough appt) and the worst she can say is "no", before I up and drop her because of her staff and my scheduling issues. I really do love her. She is the only doc that has ever actually treated me right and I really want her to deliver the baby, although the chances are slim since she does the rotation thing.

  • Options
    You are NOT being unreasonable.  Even if you are worried about something that may be fine, if it is making you nervous, you do NOT need to justify that to anyone.  Good luck.  I hope everything works out.  Go find a new dr!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Options
    If you don't have another doctor to go to then I would go to one of the walk in clinics in your town. I went to Planned Parenthood when I took a test and it came back positive because I did not have a general doctor and wanted a doctors office test ASAP, as I was on the pill when I conceived. They did everything even an ultrasound that per my request with no questions asked and no hassle. They were very friendly and the helped me answer a lot of questions and gave my a list of doctors in my area and a referral to the one who I am seeing but they won't see me until 10 weeks which for me is next week. I would try not to panic though that will increase your worrying. I had a few days of spotting and mine was very minimal just a few drops but I panicked so much that I had trouble keeping food down because I was so worried. Just breath and go with your gut its your baby and you need to feel safe or your going to panic and stress yourself out which is not good for the baby or you.
  • Options
    The RH- is new to me, I am also RH- and my doctor said they would give me a shot at around 28 weeks, then right after I give birth to protect our next child should we chose to have one.  If you are going nuts, I would go to the doctor a half hour away for your own piece of mind.  Otherwise, wait until the 11th, it will be here before you know it! 
    Photobucket Photobucket Anniversary
  • Options
    imageverovladamir:

    For starters, I know a lot of doctors offices don't see you before 10-12 weeks, because there isn't a whole lot they can do other than discuss your history and confirm that you are pregnant. I know the office that I go to doesn't even do ultrasounds in house, I have to go to the affiliated hospital. They also usually can't find the heartbeat until 10-12 weeks, so they don't like to try, lest they freak you out by not hearing one and thinking something is wrong.

    That said, you need to be comfortable with the level of care you are getting. If you feel that it takes too long to get in or that your concerns are not being met with the compassion you deserve, then maybe a new doctor is best. As someone who schedules appointments and takes messages at a doctor's office, I can say that you should never feel like what you are calling about is silly or unimportant. That's just bad service. You need to do what is best for you and your peace of mind. If you are contstantly worried that you aren't being taken care of, it's going to be a long 9 months.

    All of this.  It's common for them not to see patients until 10-12 weeks and mine doesn't do ultrasounds unless there is an issue (and they aren't at the office) or use a doppler right away either.  12 weeks for the doppler (heartbeat) and 15 weeks for an us. 

     

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Options
    imagekelly321:

    It's strange that your OB said you needed the rhogram shot for your first pregnancy. Usually you don't get it until your first pregnancy ends (either via m/c or delivery).

    Regardless, I do think you are overreacting some. It's normal to worry and be nervous, but to consider switching providers and doing self-pay (an u/s can be really expensive) is a little over the top. Many women only have one ultrasound during their pregnancy - the anatomy scan around 20 weeks. I would think about recommending a home doppler to give you reassurance that everything's ok, but you might not be able to find a heartbeat with that until 12 weeks (I've found mine earlier, but there's no guarantee), and I have a feeling you would be a person to panic if you couldn't find it.

    Have you considered looking into whether there's anywhere in your area that does 1st tri elective ultrasounds? They're not medical ultrasounds, but they could give you a peek and reassure you that everything's ok, and they're not nearly as expensive as an out of pocket medical ultrasound.

    Ditto all of this.  My OOP ultrasounds at the OB office are close to $1000.  There is a facility 30 minutes away that does a first tri ultrasound for $30. 

    I think you need to have a good relationship with your OB office but I don't think the advice to go to the ER was off base nor do I think the waiting until Sept 11 to be seen is crazy. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options

    Holy cow, $1k for an OOP u/s?  We had an OOP u/s with dd1, so like 5 1/2y ago and it was like $300something.  Prices sure have increased.

    Find out if there is something like a Fetal Fotos near you, or somewhere close-ish to you since you are rural.  I'm going to one in a few weeks for a "dating u/s" to see if we're having twins (super extra symptoms, 5th baby, I know my body, blah blah blah).  It's going to be $80.

    I don't think you are being unreasonable.  When you bleed in pregnancy, it's scary.  I had 3 miscarriages between #1 and #2 and my OB's nurse/receptionist was sooo freaking rude.  My best friend had had 2 m/c's and she told me that you seriously just have to be beastly sometimes and demand things.  So I called back and demanded an u/s and got one at 6w6d.  I'm not confrontational at all, but it was worth it for the peace of mind.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    image00jennifer00:

    Holy cow, $1k for an OOP u/s?  We had an OOP u/s with dd1, so like 5 1/2y ago and it was like $300something.  Prices sure have increased.

    ditto this.  Mine was $350 OOP 1.5 years ago (hadn't met my yearly deductible).  I'd look for a new doctor because too much of what you said just doesn't add up.  Betas that late mean nothing, I think the RH factor doesn't mean anything without your H's blood type, and no appt at all without knowing how far along you are until 14+ weeks (potentially) is ridiculous.  At the very least, someone should have talked to you about 1st tri screening/NT scans.


    imageimage
    2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
    TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
    Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14

    I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929

  • Options
    imagekelly321:

    It's strange that your OB said you needed the rhogram shot for your first pregnancy. Usually you don't get it until your first pregnancy ends (either via m/c or delivery).

    You should receive RhoGam any time there is a possible maternal-fetal bleed in an rh- mother. This definitely qualifies if it was more than just spotting, so they are taking precautions by giving her the shot. It won't hurt anything to get it early.

    A lot of stand-alone ultrasound locations wont see you until you have had an ultrasound from your doctor, but for peace of mind, driving the 30 miles doesn't sound so bad to go to another office just for a check up.

    imageimage imageBaby Birthday Ticker TickerLilypie Maternity tickers
  • Options

    I don't think you're being unreasonable, really. I worried myself into insanity through my first trimester, especially when I had a couple cases of bleeding. Personally, I would suggest looking for another doctor if you're able to. This one doesn't seem to be very personable...

    As for bleeding, it's probably nothing. So long as it wasn't a lot, like soaking your underwear or a maxi pad, then it likely has nothing to do with miscarriage. Especially if you're not cramping at all, either.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options

    So, you're approximately 9 weeks along and you have had some bleeding and had no ultrasounds yet, am I correct in that assessment?  Is that due to your insurance?  Because I am pretty surprised that one hasn't been done yet.

    As for the hospital treating you as if you'd mc'd, that is kind of normal protocol at that point, but I am shocked that they didn't do an u/s unless this happened prior to 6 weeks pregnant or something like that.

    As for your mom, she was lucky enough not to have any complications during her pregnancy, and times were different then than they are now.

    Ultimately, it sounds like the OB's new office is quite disorganized, especially if it took them two weeks to even get back to you to let you know whether you were being taken on as a new patient.  It's not the OB's fault that the secretary didn't tell you to call the on-call doctor or something along those lines. 

    As for the difference in time between 9/1 and 9/11, at that point it really isn't much difference, so I wouldn't necessarily switch doctors just because of that.  If you really like your OB, keep the appointment and then tell her your experience with the staff, and see what she says.  Some things may be smoothed out by then, too.  If you're still not happy with the office after that, then I would make the switch.


    BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
    BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
    BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
    BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
    Our little man is getting bigger every day!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    My BFP Chart
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    If I were in your shoes, I'd travel the 30 miles. I know if I were you, I'd be a mess everyday untill Sept. 11th wondering if something was wrong. Even if you go an everything's developing fine, it would ease your mind a great deal, and you won't be as stessed (obviously stress isn't good when you're pregnant). I took a trip to the ER when I was 6 weeks, with spotting, but had no pain, and they still did an unltrasound. So that could be another option.You should make the decision based on what you feel is best for you and your baby, as well as what's going to help ease your mind. Good luck!
    Pregnancy Ticker IAmPregnant Ticker image
  • Options
    You are an adult, and thus make adult decisions. Your mother, had it been available, would have known that she was pregnant at about 5 weeks and would have seen an OB/GYN in the first trimester just like the majority of women do today.  Just because this is a new decade, and we have new medical care we didn't have then, doesn't mean you should feel badly for wanting to make use of it.  I would happily pay out of pocket for the peace of mind that a heartbeat on a screen allows. If your mother is giving you a hard time, leave her out of your goings on for the time being. Go to this other appt. of your own volition, pay out of your own pocket, and never you mind her opinion on the matter. I in no way mean to be nasty, just the old adage what she doesn't know won't hurt her.
    Lost but never forgotten <3 : </br> 1st BFP 2/8/06 m/c @ 12 weeks; 2nd BFP 2/9/07 w/ Clomid; DD (Monica Caroline) born 11/16/07; 3rd BFP 3/25/11 w/ injections m/c @ 5 weeks; 4th BFP 8/3/11 w/ injections diagnosed blighted ovum; 5th BFP 1/20/12 m/c @ 9 weeks; 6th BFP 4/27/12 Praying for our rainbow Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"