My DH isn't very sympathetic ~ mini vent

RachelG1016

Every time I had to throw up he pretended that he couldn't hear anything and never mentioned it at all.

He thinks that I am WAY over emotional and when I get choked up he says "Are you crying AGAIN???" (usually it's something silly or nothing worth crying over but still!)

He refuses to go to the store to get anything special. He tells me if I want it badly enough I can go get it myself.

He was getting irritated during the first trimester because I couldn't handle raw meat and would ask him to cook it and then I would finish everything else.

Now..he is still a wonderful guy. He cooks quite often, is funny, cleans and is very loving. He just doesn't understand the pregnancy stuff AT ALL!!!

The one time the dog barfed in the house and he saw the look on my face he sent me to the other room until it was cleaned up. I was still dry heaving in the other room but at least he realized that there was NO WAY I was going to be able to clean it.

Other than that he seems to think that being pregnant is no big deal and that there is no need to cater to my pregnancy hormones or wants.

I know I am being whiney but I just needed to get it off my chest!

ashdonne

My DH was more sympathetic the first time around then he is this time and its harder on me because I also have a toddler to chase around. 

I'm not sure I buy into the being "catered" to because I'm pregnant thing but it would be nice to get a little sympathy then the "Oh no here we go again" when I get sick!

And also---sorry but I think if you want something "special" bad enough you could just go out and get it.  If DH is already out sometimes I might ask him to pick something up but if I don't feel like making the extra effort to get out and get something for myself why would I expect him to? 

RachelG1016

Yeah..I know that some of it is irrational.  Probably most of it is irrational but he is normally such a wonderful husband that I suppose I expected him to be a bit more sympathetic/empathetic.

zonagirlie

My doc gave my husband a talk before we left the first time. She explained the cravings, the emotions, and told him flat out he had to step up, take care of the cats, make food, keep me healthy. She told him it was his responsibility to keep me calm and help me out. I think she helped him see. Maybe take Mr. Empathy with you to your appt and ask some loaded questions. There are things we just can't/shouldn't do. Building a human is hard work.

this decaf life

I'm the type of person who just goes and gets stuff myself if I want it. It might get harder the further along I get but so far if anything I've been doing a lot more around the house/for DH [laundry, dishes, vacuuming, taking his dry cleaning, making lunch occasionally] because I haven't been working as much.

laurapacheco

zonagirlie:

My doc gave my husband a talk before we left the first time. She explained the cravings, the emotions, and told him flat out he had to step up, take care of the cats, make food, keep me healthy. She told him it was his responsibility to keep me calm and help me out. I think she helped him see. Maybe take Mr. Empathy with you to your appt and ask some loaded questions. There are things we just can't/shouldn't do. Building a human is hard work.

This. My DH doesn't quite get the whole pregnancy thing either, but he knows enough to realize that things aren't going to be "normal" and that he needs to chip in more... at the end of the day the fact is that you're making a human being, a daughter/son for your DH, and I feel like that deserves a little pampering from time to time, even if it's not absolutely necessary. If I were you I'd have a little heart-to-heart with your DH and try to figure out why he's treating you this way. GL!

Kie310

You are growing his child, he could at least try to think about your needs.

My husband is way helpful. Gets mad when I'm "doing too much" which kinda drives me batty, but he gets it. It's all I can ask.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed

Aw, that isn't cool at all. I agree maybe if your doctor says something.  The second my DH heard the doctor say I couldn't sleep on my back he was all over me about it if he caught me sleeping on my back. My DH has been pretty good about things, but they just don't get it sometimes and need to hear it from a third party I think.

sekura

Might also have him read a book aimed at husbands of pregnant women.  I know "What to Expect" has a section for the Dad, which tells them to help you out, take care of you, etc.

I'm pretty independent, but I had a rough first tri, and DH has definitely stepped up.  He gets me food and will help to prepare stuff so I will eat (I am never hungry, just nauseous, so I need help).  

I don't think you're being irrational; you should definitely talk to him about it.  He may ignore the vomiting because he'd prefer you did that if he vomited (my husband is like that).

Yellow415

DH was like that before I got pregnant. He would often say that morning sickness and exhaustion we're just in their heads. He quickly changed is tune after watching me puke day after day and fall asleep every time I put my head down.

While I dont think he needs to cater to you or go out for your cravings, it is true that youll need a little extra help here and there, esp as you grow bigger. Definitely try explaining to him and give him some reading material. 

I downloaded an app on DH's phone that gives tips for Dads. He reads it because he wants to learn about baby but he also has learned about what Im going through, too.