Not looking forward to vacation ( Preg. ment)

Ana0927 · August 2012

So we leave for vacation on Saturday. We are going to the beach with a group of friends. One of my girlfriends is 7 months pregnant. I have been extremely happy for her and supportive throughout her doctor visits and other concerns (she has had multiple m/c). I have never been bitter of her pregnancy but now I find myself dreading spending a whole week with her.

I am 9 DPO and I am not feeling hopeful about this cycle. I know I shouldn?t feel that way but I do. I plan on testing on Friday and I know it?s early but I feel like I just finally need to know it?s negative so I can get all my emotions out of the way before we leave. The other thing is my EDD is coming up on the 21^st I try and not let it get to me but I am just overcome with sadness. I told my DH how I feel and he said that I need to stop feeling this way. Just be happy with what we have and not dwell on what we don?t? have. I really hate feeling this way.

Thanks for listening!

LLPtobe · August 2012

huckleberry08:
My DH says similar things, too. What I think he is telling me is not to be bitter about other peoples' happiness, but that can be so, so hard sometimes when their happiness reminds you of your loss. I think your gf will understand if this is hard for you, given that she has experienced losses, too. Sometimes it helps me to say things to myself like, "I am so happy for X, but still sad for myself. That is ok." That may seem oversimplified, but it works for me most of the time. I just think it is important to acknowlefge that grief while trying to put it in its place.

All of this. I'm sure your friend will understand. While on vaca, if you are having a hard time and just need to be alone for a little while, just say so and excuse yourself if it's too much. I can't imagine anyone (your DH included) not respecting and understanding that.

jenn0021 · August 2012

I'm so sorry. Even when you are happy for someone it's hard to be around them and not think about all that you've lost. Your feelings are completely normal and do not let anyone tell you to "get over it". It is fine to be sad for yourself while happy for someone else. I think that men process differently and they just can't understand. My DH also thinks I should be appreciative of all the good things in our life and not focus on the bad. But it's nearly impossible for me. Sending you some ((Hugs)) and I hope your vacation is still good. And FX for a BFP on Friday!