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Telling my new job (and intro)

First, let me introduce myself. I'm 40 yrs old and 10 weeks pregnant after IVF. We were extremely fortunate to have luck on our first IVF cycle and to have things go smoothly so far - whew! I have graduated to my OBGYN and have my first appt with her on Tuesday (after 2 great U/S with the IVF docs).

Now, on to my question...I was interviewing for the job across the first 6 weeks. I accepted the job at 8 weeks and will now be starting it at 10 weeks. I have been extremely nervous about miscarriage (age, IVF) and did not feel comfortable bringing this up during the interview, not for legal reasons but more superstition about telling anyone so early, especially an employer. And honestly, I don't know how I feel about maternity leave yet. I am in a leadership/management position and the sole income in our household. I am a career woman and think I'd go stir crazy being home (& not working) for 3 months, but I know "everything changes" so I don't know what to expect. I would feel much more comfortable waiting to tell my work until after the NT test results but feel so dishonest now keeping this from them as a new employee. On the plus side, I have no M/S (yay!) and am not showing. So no one would know anything beyond me not drinking at happy hour.

Based on all that...

- Do you think it's ok if I wait until after the NT results before telling my new job?

-  Tips on the conversation?

- How do you handle it when you don't know how "off the grid" vs WFH you want to be during your maternity leave time?

btw, I scanned back a handful of pages and didn't see a recent conversation on this topic. If there is a good one to point me to, I'd appreciate that and apologize for the repeat question if so.

Really looking forward to being a part of this community!

 

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Re: Telling my new job (and intro)

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    Starting a new job at 10 weeks too! I've decided not to tell for as long as possible, maybe wait til 4 months pregnant. I want to wait awhile and show them how awesome I am before I break the news.

    I plan to tell them I'm pregnant and talk about how committed I've been to the job so far, and that I plan for that to continue. I think it's best to go in with a positive attitude and a plan for how you're going to continue rocking the job while also rocking the bump. 

    Think about it, wouldn't you be impressed that a woman was kick-ass at her job for the 1st trimester, and has already made a plan for the coming months? It would tell me that she can balance home and work, and I'd want her on my team :)

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    You might get some good responses on the Working Moms board.
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    Oh geez, and congrats and welcome! I know IVF can be a struggle, you must be absolutely thrilled!
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    My situation is only slightly different. I was not pregnant when I interviewed for the job, but was when I started it but did not know it. lol I plan to wait until after my 90 days, which is at the end of this month, and after my first OB appt which I am not scheduled for until 12ish weeks. I am worried about them firing me, I am a nurse, and on my feet all day, so I am concerned they are going to think I can not handle it. Which, this is my first, so who knows if I can or cant, I am convinced that I can. I wont get FMLA because I wont have been there a year, and I will have to use my vacation time as my maternity leave and take the rest unpaid until I can come back. I completely understand how you feel about telling them, I refuse to, until after my first ultrasound. 
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    A lot of sites I have been on have said that, as long as you are in no danger from workplace hazards, you should wait until 12-14 weeks until the risk of miscarriage goes down.

    I would keep whatever conversation short and to the point with work, especially if you aren't sure how people will take it, meaning don't volunteer extra details, Talk to HR first since they will likely have the needed policy information ...."I am ___ weeks pregnant...I will be delivering in ______, I plan to return to work after delivery, what are the policies I need to be aware about?"If they ask about whether you knew when you applied, I would answer honestly, "no" because you couldn't be sure that early.

    Hope that gives you a place to start.  If anything goes awry talk to a Employment Law specialist.

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    I am also in a leadership/management position at work and I am not telling anyone until it's obvious I am pregnant.  They really don't need to know any earlier than that.  I am going to take my full maternity leave because it's important for Mama's to get all healed up properly physically and mentally before returning to work.  Plus, once you get that baby in your arms you won't want to ever leave it.  Just take your time making your decision and do what's best for you.  No one is irreplacable at work - but you are to your family. 
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    If I was in a new position, I wouldn't be sharing pregnancy news until I had to.  It will give you time to figure out maternity leave stuff but you'll still be able to give them tons of notice.

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    I didn't tell my job until 18 weeks last time. In my job, I'm only required to tell them 4 weeks before I leave. Telling them earlier is just a courtesy. I think you should definitely wait for the NT results.
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