shared the baby's sex with kids

jkacera15

Last night we told my SC the baby is a boy! (we are VERY excited!!) and my stepdaughters face just dropped with disappointment. I knew she wanted a girl, she had made this very clear. My SS didn't seem to care even. he's 4 1/2. anybody else go through these situations?? My SD and i talked and she's still excited. I explained to her that her new little brother won't come out being 4 years old and beating her up like her current one tries. But how can I get her more excited again and how do you get a 4-5 year old boy excited about a new sibling? he really doesn't seem to care and has even showed a little jealousy already.

angelamaster1986

I remember being a child and feeling these feelings with my younger siblings. It really wont have an affect on your children until they can see the baby in person. My best suggestion is to work with the kids and try to get them involved. Bring them shopping and do some crafts to give the baby when he gets here. Help your SD make a blanket for the baby.

MarSamWhitney

I think what PP said is a great idea.  Involve both SS and SD as much as possible to make this experience a very positve one. Good luck!

CFjo2010

My son is 4 years older than my daughter.  Truthfully, at that age they don't really get it.  He knew there was a baby coming and that he was having a sister, but he could have cared less.  Even when she was born, he was just kind of like, "what's the big deal? She just lays there".  We asked him what kind of things he wanted to teach his baby sister and that opened the door a bit.  After about a month he was fiercely protective of her and still is 9 years later.  As PPs said, let him be involved in the planning and shopping.  Maybe ask him to pick out a toy for the baby so that he can wrap it and give it to him when he's born.

twister22

angelamaster1986:

I remember being a child and feeling these feelings with my younger siblings. It really wont have an affect on your children until they can see the baby in person. My best suggestion is to work with the kids and try to get them involved. Bring them shopping and do some crafts to give the baby when he gets here. Help your SD make a blanket for the baby.

This. Let SD help pick out some outfits for her little brother, and I think the book PP linked would be great for SS. 

jkacera15

Thanks for the suggestions. SD has definitely been involved and asked LOTS of questions.(some that have answers a 6 year old should not hear just yet...) She has her own plans for my shower even and told me my mom is taking her shopping for gifts and I'm not allowed. I guess I just worry more about SS. He's a jealous type and in my opinion, kind of needy. I think he's babied cause...well he's the baby of the 2 kids. And I think he's babied in both of his homes. I guess I worry that once the baby is here he'll lose what he loves and there will be backlash. I've talked to DH also and told him maybe try to transition out of giving into the whining and go with the big boy attitude but it doesn't seem to help. He still gets what he wants pretty much. I will definitely look at that book. I've wanted to get a good one to read with him to try to help him feel like a BIG brother. One day he wants to teach the baby something and the next he tells me he's not sharing any toys and going to play in his room by himself when the baby comes home.....I guess it'll be day to day with him...