BM's Visit (Update)
I've been so busy with work that Bumping has really become difficult any more but I did want to follow up with you ladies on the outcome of the big visit.
BM has been in our home since Thursday night after not seeing my adoptive sons for 6 years. She will be leaving to go home tomorrow. Things turned out so much better than DH or I expected. The kids have been having big fun with their little sister and brother who they met for the first time. DH and BM have discussed the past and owned up to their mistakes that got us here in the first place. She has been respectful, helpful, hopeful and loving to the boys.
We had a small birthday party for their little sister. We took them to the lake where the kids and adults had a ball. We had Sunday dinner last night and I toasted my oldest son, "to DS15, if not for your desire and courage, we would not be sitting at this table together". When DH came to bed last night he kissed me and thanked me. I asked what was that about? He said, because you are a rare woman to let this all take place in our home and I love you for it. I have grown two more inches under DH's admiration lol. I think it will be hard when everyone says goodbye tomorrow. I'm glad we were all able to put on our big girl panties.
Thank you all for your support, advice and constructive criticism over this past year.
Re: BM's Visit (Update)
These are the types of stories that people should be paying close attention to.
Great to hear it!
I agree with your husband: You are an amazing person for all of this! I'm impressed and in awe of you allowing BM to stay in your home so she could visit with the kiddos. I can't say that I would ever be willing to do the same. What an amazing lesson and learning experience you've given all the kids (and adults) in your blended family.
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Thank you ladies for all the positive remarks. It is refreshing to hear them after being told how crazy I am by all the other people in my life that were aware of what was happening. As far as allowing BM to stay in my home, it was a tough decision. Ultimately the goal was for the kids to get to know her and visa versa. An impersonal hotel room and scheduled hourly visits did not seem like a good way to accomplish this.
BM being in the house meant she got see their rooms, see them when they wake up, see them cranky before they went to bed, meet their friends, cook dinner for them, etc. Also, since it was bound to be awkward at first, better the boys be on their own turf where they felt safe and comfortable. It was hard, but after the first day we all fell into a routine. It could have been a disaster and I wouldn't recommend for everyone but it worked out great for us.