to find out or not....

GabzM22

Last week, I just found out I'm pregnant with #2. DH doesn't know just yet. MIL is in town and I would like to be able to celebrate with DH alone since he was in basics last time. So I have yet to make a dr appt for edd or anything. However, I'm already having an inner debate to find out the sex. I was one of those "crazy" women who didn't want to know and DH had no choice either. I wanted to make sure we actually received gifts we needed instead of millions of outfits. Of course once we tell everyone, they are going to be hounding us again to find out. Since DD is 9 months, I figured we'll still have most of her things by the time #2 is here. I'm doubting any baby shower will happen because we are both at least 12 hours from any family members. So finding out the sex will be more of a surprise thing than anything. Maybe I'll wait just to make DH anxiously squirm again. Haha. Any opinions?? 

MsCraftsy

So, you found out you were pregnant while MIL is in town? That is why you haven't told DH?

I think it's kind of selfish of you to hold out on your husband and them MAKE him have no choice in knowing the sex of the baby. You need to discuss this with your husband and come to the decision together. It's not fair that you are making this decision for the both of you when he had no choice in matter last pregnancy. I'm sorry but you asked for opinions.

eta: It's not a guarantee that you will be receiving gifts, especially since this is your 2nd little one. Do not base this decision and a wondrous moment that your husband didn't to have previously, on a gift giving situation that may not even occur.

CMDR513

I'd leave the choice up to DH. Let him decide. That's what I'm going to do with #2 once we conceive. 

MommyLuvsMe1210

MsCraftsy:

So, you found out you were pregnant while MIL is in town? That is why you haven't told DH?

I think it's kind of selfish of you to hold out on your husband and them MAKE him have no choice in knowing the sex of the baby. You need to discuss this with your husband and come to the decision together. It's not fair that you are making this decision for the both of you when he had no choice in matter last pregnancy. I'm sorry but you asked for opinions.

eta: It's not a guarantee that you will be receiving gifts, especially since this is your 2nd little one. Do not base this decision and a wondrous moment that your husband didn't to have previously, on a gift giving situation that may not even occur.

Also OP,  a baby shower is not an obligation. It in itself it a gift. That being said, a baby shower shouldn't be associated with just the gifts. It is ( or should be) about  welcoming a new baby into your family.

It's the parent's responsibility to provide for the child, not everyone else... Your post makes you sound really ungrateful and bratty, IMO.

ashdonne

Interesting.  I agree with PP---you should make this decision with DH not for him.  Everything else in your post about reasons why due to gifts etc are kind of silly and not important in my opinion.  I would just decide based on how you and DH feel and nothing else.

Also we found out with DD and are finding out with LO too but we talked about that decision both times.

magdalina.h

You need to pull your husband into a room and let him know. Then make the decision to find out with him. I saw/read some place where they had the tech write it out on a piece of paper and they would open it only if they both wanted to know at the same time. So if he said I want to know and she wasn't ready, they didn't open it. If she changed her mind the next day and he no longer wanted to know, they didn't open it. They ended up staying team green.

My friends do a second shower and it's mostly just a lets eat and celebrate the baby. Since they already have what they need, the gifts were usually necessary new items, like binkies and nipples for bottles.

ellephunt

We are team green and it was mostly DH's decision. It was important to him not to find out and I think it will be fun so we aren't. If DH had said "hey let's find out!" I'd be totally on board with that too. And I could never go more than an hour without telling him I'm pregnant.