MIL.... Seriously?
So, we went to dinner at my in-laws last night. My MIL is throwing me a shower (my mother was also supposed to host with her, but it seems my MIL is pushing her out of the way). Anyway, she tells us, "Oh, I heard of a great game to play at the shower! We can melt a whole bunch of different candy bars, and put them into diapers and make the guests smell them to figure out whats in them!" I was horrified! I couldn't say anything, I just sat there with a terrified look on my face. I told her that sounds absolutely disgusting. She laughed and thought it was an excellent idea. It was then and there I thought about just cancelling the shower.... or not having her invite any of my friends, and just letting her have the million family members she wants to invite. How could a grown adult think that's something appropriate to play? Let alone, I really don't want to play games at this thing, I mean, I'm 35, not 7.
Would it be totally terrible of me to talk to her about not having any games? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but seriously!?! She wants me to take her to the doctor this Thursday, it will just be her and I. Is it totally tacky to ask her to please not play games at this shower? Otherwise, I am thinking I just need to cancel before she starts planning anything else. Just typing this out has made me cringe, and want to cancel.... but I know that would totally hurt her. We tried for 8 years for this little one, and she is uber excited, since she thought she wasn't going to get a grandchild from us. I also need to talk to her about excluding my mother. Unfortunately, 2 showers is not an option for us, for many reasons.
What to do, What to do??
Re: MIL.... Seriously?
I would talk to her. She is obviously thrilled and excited, and while a baby shower is a gift, its not one you can return if you hate it.
I don't mind little games...like guessing the belly size with string or the clothes pin game where you can't say 'baby'. But I too would freak out with that diaper game, I've heard of it...ya, no, I wouldn't like it.
I think if you feel close enough to her, you should just tell her how you feel. I think it is as simple as, "Hey, I know you are having a great time planning the shower, but please don't forget to include my mom too. She really wants to help and it's important to me to have both you involved, together."
And then, when she agrees to loop your mom back in, then you mention that since there will be so any people there, you would love to skip the games so you have more time to visit with all of your guests. If she starts to pout, then have one or two games in your back pocket to throw out that you are comfortable with. A good non-gamey option would be:
- Timer while opening gifts. When it goes off, whoever's gift you were opening wins a prize.
You may not be able to eliminate games all together, but you might be able to steer her in a better direction.
Excellent ideas. Another easy game that doesn't take much time is putting candy (M&Ms, etc) in a baby bottle and have people pass it around and make a guess as to how many are inside. She could also have people write words of encouragement on little cards that can put in the baby book.
I love games but hate those that involve drinking, eating or smelling ANYTHING.
Another game I like is Mad Libs. When you open someone's gift you ask them for a noun, verb, number, etc. and then read the funny Mad Lib at the end of the gifts. Very easy and keeps the flow going!
I'd just mention to her that you're not comfortable asking people to play the diaper candy bar game. Maybe soften the blow by saying that sounds like it could get messy and you want guests to be comfortable.
Thanks Ladies, I will have a talk with her. No need to have anyone uncomfortable at the shower!
And thank you all so much for the wonderful game ideas.... those sound 100x better than sniffing a fake dirty diaper!
have your husband talk to her.
I straight up told my mother and MIL no party games. I don't like them, I never have, and I told them straight up when they asked me about planning my shower.
On the hand of involving your mother, the next time she asks you a question about something, ask her, "What did my mom say?" and see what she replies with. Also, you can send her to your mom with questions as it's probable that she gets your taste a bit more than your MIL. Tell her your mother is feeling a little left out and would like to contribute if she would come up with a list of things your mother can help with/do for her. Good luck!