From the beginning of this pregnancy, I have been concerned as to how my SDs (11 & 16) would react to a) me being pregnant, and b)having a new little brother or sister. DH and I felt that keeping them involved with things would be the best route, so they wouldn't feel left out. I talk about baby-related stuff with them, and try to spin most of the conversations in a way that turns it back to them (for example, my oldest SD plays basketball, so we tell her "just think, this season your little brother will be there cheering you on. We should make a shirt for him that says 'S____'s biggest fan!'..."). Well, it backfired.
Last night my SD16 told me and DH that she hates my pregnancy and is so sick and tired of it all. She said can't take any more talk about the baby and hates it when people bring it up. She feels like everything is about me or the baby and that if I want something (cravings, etc) I get it. She is upset that she can't go get whatever she wants all the time (to be fair, I do get things that I am craving sometimes, but I don't always get whatever I want whenever I want it otherwise I most definitely would be 50lbs heavier). She thinks that once the baby is born, he will get whatever he wants and they won't.
I didn't know what to say. I know that the baby gets talked about a lot, but at the same time, this is my first baby and I'm excited. I don't talk about it 24/7, but I can see how she might get annoyed with it (nobody cares about your baby/pregnancy as much as you do). I told her that while yes, there is a lot of focus on the baby right now, they are still given their own attention and I try to do things just for them as well...and they will always be important and receive attention. DH and I explained to her that no, the baby would not be getting everything he wants or we thought he should have...much like the girls don't get everything they want or think they should have.
I'm not really sure where to go from here. My biggest fear is that she will resent the baby (I think she is already beginning to resent me). Anyone have any advice to offer?