***FFFC***

Lovely Lauren

SmileyGirl18:

Lovely Lauren:

DelBride2012:

Lovely Lauren:

DelBride2012:

Lovely Lauren:

Since becoming pregnant, I've done almost nothing but talk sh!t about America and their lack of paid maternity leave. Canada gets a YEAR......PAID!!!! I work for a company of 7 people so I'm not even protected by FMLA to take unpaid time if I wanted it. UGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! How is 6 weeks enough time?!?!?! It's simply NOT!!!  

Everyone else is freeloading on our uteruses.  

I'm confused....?  

Families who have children provide an important public service. Society only wants to not support us through maternity leave, but also to roll their eyes when we travel on airplanes (someone literally told me today it's rude to fly with kids) and generally act annoyed that we dare ensure there is a future generation. 

Ohhhhh, I get it now. And yes, I agree. And then stretch parents so thin trying to work and pay for childcare, provide a nice home, cook square meals every night....trying to do it ALL and then get called "bad parents" because of one thing people disagree with. It makes me sick thinking about how screwed up America's family values are.  

Since it is FFFC - I will disagree.  I don't think it is soley society trying to screw parents, I think parents are also screwing themselves.  These days families are constantly indulging children and basing values on monetary possesions.  New cars, bigger houses nicer vacations seem to be more important that imagination and quality time with their kids.  Many are choosing to have both parents work to cater to children's every whim and one up the neighbors. When I was a kid, all I needed was a big wheel some neighborhood kids and I was set for a summer day.  We used our imaginations and had a great time.  We didn't need all the fancy electronics or video games to keep us entertained and we did not grow up to be a bratty self entitled generation. 

I know I am making a very and broad general statement and it doesn't apply to everyone.  I realize single parent households have it really rough and the cost of living in certain locations, like where I live in So Cal, make it very difficult to to live off a single income.  I am simply saying you can't blame society 100% for what is happening to our country and screwing up America's family values.

Ok, flame away (but I may not respond, because I won't be near a computer for a few hours)

I'm going to assume by your siggy's that this is your first child....and for that I'm giving you a little bit of leeway, because you have not yet raised a child and therefore have an extremely skewed opinion about what you're talking about. If you even just add up basic needs, housing expenses, food, gas, and everything else....it's nearly impossible to afford everything with one income. Especially for single parents because they are adding daycare expenses as well. As for two parent households, its still VERY hard. And some of us mothers are the breadwinners of our families, therefore making it especially impossible to stay home with our children. We also can't afford to live on just my income even though we live an extremely modest lifestyle. Neither of us even have car payments and anything 'fancy' or 'technologically advanced' that our DD1 has is generally bought for her as a gift by her grandparents. (Usually in spite of our protests) And in case you haven't noticed....times have changed since you were a kid. You can't just send a 5 year old outside to play for the entire day by themselves. And because we are working parents, weekends are the only chance to get anything done, so we spend a lot of our weekends inside trying to get laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc done. Let alone spending some quality time with our daughter! Trust me....I completely understand that the life of a stay at home mom is a very hard, and stressful place to be....but being a working mom isn't easy either. And most of us don't do it by choice. We do it because we have to keep a roof over our children's heads, not buy them the latest gadget. 

rachael_c26

Lovely Lauren:

SmileyGirl18:

Lovely Lauren:

DelBride2012:

Lovely Lauren:

DelBride2012:

Lovely Lauren:

Since becoming pregnant, I've done almost nothing but talk sh!t about America and their lack of paid maternity leave. Canada gets a YEAR......PAID!!!! I work for a company of 7 people so I'm not even protected by FMLA to take unpaid time if I wanted it. UGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! How is 6 weeks enough time?!?!?! It's simply NOT!!!  

Everyone else is freeloading on our uteruses.  

I'm confused....?  

Families who have children provide an important public service. Society only wants to not support us through maternity leave, but also to roll their eyes when we travel on airplanes (someone literally told me today it's rude to fly with kids) and generally act annoyed that we dare ensure there is a future generation. 

Ohhhhh, I get it now. And yes, I agree. And then stretch parents so thin trying to work and pay for childcare, provide a nice home, cook square meals every night....trying to do it ALL and then get called "bad parents" because of one thing people disagree with. It makes me sick thinking about how screwed up America's family values are.  

Since it is FFFC - I will disagree.  I don't think it is soley society trying to screw parents, I think parents are also screwing themselves.  These days families are constantly indulging children and basing values on monetary possesions.  New cars, bigger houses nicer vacations seem to be more important that imagination and quality time with their kids.  Many are choosing to have both parents work to cater to children's every whim and one up the neighbors. When I was a kid, all I needed was a big wheel some neighborhood kids and I was set for a summer day.  We used our imaginations and had a great time.  We didn't need all the fancy electronics or video games to keep us entertained and we did not grow up to be a bratty self entitled generation. 

I know I am making a very and broad general statement and it doesn't apply to everyone.  I realize single parent households have it really rough and the cost of living in certain locations, like where I live in So Cal, make it very difficult to to live off a single income.  I am simply saying you can't blame society 100% for what is happening to our country and screwing up America's family values.

Ok, flame away (but I may not respond, because I won't be near a computer for a few hours)

I'm going to assume by your siggy's that this is your first child....and for that I'm giving you a little bit of leeway, because you have not yet raised a child and therefore have an extremely skewed opinion about what you're talking about. If you even just add up basic needs, housing expenses, food, gas, and everything else....it's nearly impossible to afford everything with one income. Especially for single parents because they are adding daycare expenses as well. As for two parent households, its still VERY hard. And some of us mothers are the breadwinners of our families, therefore making it especially impossible to stay home with our children. We also can't afford to live on just my income even though we live an extremely modest lifestyle. Neither of us even have car payments and anything 'fancy' or 'technologically advanced' that our DD1 has is generally bought for her as a gift by her grandparents. (Usually in spite of our protests) And in case you haven't noticed....times have changed since you were a kid. You can't just send a 5 year old outside to play for the entire day by themselves. And because we are working parents, weekends are the only chance to get anything done, so we spend a lot of our weekends inside trying to get laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc done. Let alone spending some quality time with our daughter! Trust me....I completely understand that the life of a stay at home mom is a very hard, and stressful place to be....but being a working mom isn't easy either. And most of us don't do it by choice. We do it because we have to keep a roof over our children's heads, not buy them the latest gadget. 

She stated more than once (I took the liberty of bolding) that she knew this was a generalization and that this didn't include every.single.parental situation.

Sooooo....???

Because everything I read before, that prompted her reply, was, I hope, generalizations too.

JulieN0704

SmileyGirl18:

Yes, you are correct.  This is our first child.  However, after our son is born, I will most likely not be returning to work.  With two incomes, DH and I live a pretty comfortable lifestyle. By going down to one income, we will be putting off moving into a house until 2014 (we own a condo), the tropical babymoon that we planned,  will be downsizing our cars and all the extras that go with having both of our income.  We made this decision when we realized that a large portion of my salary would be going to infant day care and we decided that my income is less important than me being there for our little guy. 

I realize times have changed and a five year old can't play on his own all day long.  However, they don't need a game center either.  Parks, bikes and such still do the trick.  I came from a home with two working parents, with no family close by. I sayed with neighbors until my mom got home from work and the SAHMs on our street took turns watching the kids during the summer. 

I don't think anyone thinks that being a working mom is easy, by any stretch of the imagination and that most moms do it by choice.  I also know that I only "live" my situation and every situation is different.  However, when I see parents driving expensve cars, taking thier daughters to the American Girl store one a month while their toddlers play on iPads, I think they are partly to blame for "family values" slipping.  I think it is a cop out to blame society.  I think blaming society is part of the problem.

Probably taking this on a little tangent here...

But I agree, because a good portion (NOT ALL) of the people who shake their fist at 'society' for the way the world is are the same ones that whine when Precious doesn't get picked for something/ doesn't get their way/ is told they aren't the best at something. I see it all the time in my profession. Why does this child get picked for more things than mine? Why aren't you giving my child your undivided attention in a class with 10 other students? Can you make an exception just for us? And my personal favorite after a kid doesn't score well because they bombed a dance: You know, Princess didn't get what the other girls got because you made her dance too easy. Always projecting blame on someone else. The problem is that a lot of kids don't learn how to accept responsibility for their actions and shortcomings. It's really, really frustrating and I hope that enough parents and parents-to-be go back to the days where every child didn't get picked, not everyone got a trophy just for showing up, and in general grew up to become more responsible, self-sufficient young adults than many I see today. /tangent over

DelBride2012

I don't personally need or want 50 week or even 12 week paid maternity leave. It's really not about me. I work because I love my work. We don't need me to work and frankly, we could still buy our daughter everything her tiny heart desired on DH's income alone. I intend to take as short a maternity leave as is physically necessary. Despite that, both DH and I work for unusually generous employers. DH's employees offers 6 weeks paid maternity leave (he plans to take a little under 2), and my employer will hold my job open for up to 26 weeks after I give birth. 

 That really has nothing to do with the fact that America builds its future on the backs (and uteruses) of people who choose to have children, and then is remarkably unsupportive of them. The fact that some parents are indulgent or entitled doesn't really have anything to do with it either.  

JulieN0704

SmileyGirl18:

JulieN0704:

SmileyGirl18:

Yes, you are correct.  This is our first child.  However, after our son is born, I will most likely not be returning to work.  With two incomes, DH and I live a pretty comfortable lifestyle. By going down to one income, we will be putting off moving into a house until 2014 (we own a condo), the tropical babymoon that we planned,  will be downsizing our cars and all the extras that go with having both of our income.  We made this decision when we realized that a large portion of my salary would be going to infant day care and we decided that my income is less important than me being there for our little guy. 

I realize times have changed and a five year old can't play on his own all day long.  However, they don't need a game center either.  Parks, bikes and such still do the trick.  I came from a home with two working parents, with no family close by. I sayed with neighbors until my mom got home from work and the SAHMs on our street took turns watching the kids during the summer. 

I don't think anyone thinks that being a working mom is easy, by any stretch of the imagination and that most moms do it by choice.  I also know that I only "live" my situation and every situation is different.  However, when I see parents driving expensve cars, taking thier daughters to the American Girl store one a month while their toddlers play on iPads, I think they are partly to blame for "family values" slipping.  I think it is a cop out to blame society.  I think blaming society is part of the problem.

Probably taking this on a little tangent here...

But I agree, because a good portion (NOT ALL) of the people who shake their fist at 'society' for the way the world is are the same ones that whine when Precious doesn't get picked for something/ doesn't get their way/ is told they aren't the best at something. I see it all the time in my profession. Why does this child get picked for more things than mine? Why aren't you giving my child your undivided attention in a class with 10 other students? Can you make an exception just for us? And my personal favorite after a kid doesn't score well because they bombed a dance: You know, Princess didn't get what the other girls got because you made her dance too easy. Always projecting blame on someone else. The problem is that a lot of kids don't learn how to accept responsibility for their actions and shortcomings. It's really, really frustrating and I hope that enough parents and parents-to-be go back to the days where every child didn't get picked, not everyone got a trophy just for showing up, and in general grew up to become more responsible, self-sufficient young adults than many I see today. /tangent over

 

So true!  When I was young, not everyone "won" all the time.  I learned to deal with rejection.  Don't even me started on how parents treat teachers, and no I am not a teacher.  When I was in school, if I got in trouble, I was scared to go home and tell my parents. My parents taught me to respect authority, not to complain and have them fight my battles for me.   

I had those rare (by today's standards) parents that actually TOLD us if we didn't do something well. I remember crying once because my cheerleading squad got 3rd place and my parents flipping out on me at age 9. They explained to me that just because we won the year before, it didn't mean that we were the best team there that year. That concept is entirely lost on a lot of parents today. All of a sudden, things are 'fixed' and 'unfair.'

I'm lucky that I don't get a lot of crap from the kids I teach- I have great relationships with their parents and they know if they don't watch it I won't hesitate to talk to them. I had to grow some balls early because I opened my studio at 25, looking like I was 18. If people were ever going to take me seriously I had to be a meanie-head from time to time. If you don't demand respect, they'll walk right over you.

I do have one group of parents though that gets mad when I correct their kids. What the hell are you paying me for?! It's not my job to pump them full of false praise, it's my job to make them better! Sigh.

FrickandFrack

I was wearing a really cute dress today with my huge granny maternity panties. It was great.

BarooGirl

rachael_c26:

ironmom5:

I don't particularly like children.  I'm excited to be a mom, and I love my child, and my neices and nephews.  Other people's children though, I find them in large part to be annoying and rotten.  I can't wait for school to start back up so I can go to the grocery store on my lunchbreak without it being temper tantrum city.

 

What am I technically, "fourth"ing this?? Either way, I agree.

Except I'm not a mommy yet, nor do I teach little kids...

I've complained of this before though. I don't want to hold other people's kids, or interact with them in general... and I always wonder if people are side-eyeing me while I'm pregnant, wondering if I will feel the same about my own. I won't obviously. I will completely spoil my kid (kids in the future, hopefully)... I know that's a bad notion to already have, but it's true.

I fifth IMs post and 2nd yours.

I feel the same way.