Blended Families

Looking for advice XP from Oct 12

When my ex and I got divorced, I gave him EVERYTHING, in exchange for primary placement of our daughter without having to fight for it. He was happily dating another woman, and couldn't have cared less about DD. Having placement was the only thing I cared about, the material stuff could all be replaced. He was never a great role model, taking her to visit his girlfriends while we were still married (I didn't find this out until later). Anyway, he married his current wife a whopping 6 months and 8 days after our divorce was final. She has tried to step in as mom many times, even purposefully having a sex talk with DD, just so she could beat me to it. She is very overbearing in a lot of ways.

I worked out a deal with my ex a couple of years ago that I would "let" him have DD half the time. I didn't ever want her to resent me, or think I kept her from him, and he's got 2 daughters from his first marriage that I wanted her to know as sisters. According to the details of our divorce, I have primary placement and he can have visitation "with appropraite notice." His wife is now being very unfair to my DD, which is causing her not to want to spend so much time with her dad. DD is currently 12, so according to state law, in a year, she can go into court stating what she wants, but in the mean time, does anyone have any opinions on what fair visitation would be based on our divorce? I want him to realize that we've been nice in agreeing for him to spend 1/2 time with him, but that it is not a right he has, since DD no longer wants to spend that amount of time. Please don't think I am using DD to get back at him, I am doing this for her, as she is always very unhappy when she is there, so maybe spending less time will help her appreciate the time she does have with her dad, and the same for him.

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