Worried about no connection... — The Bump
Military Families

Worried about no connection...

I just had a DD 3 weeks ago and my DH is deployed right now. We were both excited he got to be on skype to at least kinda be there for the birth and I was hoping this would help have some kind of connection to her but, I really don't think it has. I email him pictures and get no response...every now and then he asks how she is and that's it. I really don't now what else to do to help the situation. I talk about her whenever we message eachother but, i really get no reaction. I feel very helpless! He should be coming home soon so, thank goodness she will still be little and I'm hoping that helps. It hurts me so much because she is my world and he is clueless. I have to idea how to make things better with him being away...he loves his family dearly. I have confronted him about it and he says that he loves all the pictures and us but he us just trying to get done over there.  He's truly has no idea what it's like to have a baby. Ideas please !?!?

Re: Worried about no connection...

  • I think you are making too much of this. He hasn't even met her yet. Don't give him a hard time until he at least meets the kid. People always think there is this instant love when a baby is born. It doesn't always work that way. If he is still acting this way a month after he comes home, then it is time to be concerned. For now, let it go.
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  • imageLissa832:
    I think you are making too much of this. He hasn't even met her yet. Don't give him a hard time until he at least meets the kid. People always think there is this instant love when a baby is born. It doesn't always work that way. If he is still acting this way a month after he comes home, then it is time to be concerned. For now, let it go.

    This. Plus he might be protecting himself from the heartache he would feel if he tried to feel that connection to a baby he has never met. He missed the birth of his baby, trust me he is aware of that and is probably dying to get home to you guys. Men just deal with things differently.

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  • Give the man a break.  Loosing focus while deployed can get people killed. The last weeks of deployment are the hardest to get through.  If not focusing on you and the baby means he is keeping his head in the game, it means there is a higher likely hood that he comes home safe.  Just because he is trying to keep his head in the game does not mean he doesn't feel a connection with the baby and doesn't love her.  He'll show that love when he gets home.  Let him do what he needs to do to focus on getting home to you in one piece.  Stop reading so much into it.  
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  • My BF has a daughter that is away from him right now since he is training, I seems to talk to her and about her more than he does... He loves her more than anything, but he just doesn't express it... He's just that kind of guy... The way he expresses his love is different from me, but he is a guy... I know he misses her, I am currently visiting him and today he asked me to look up a restaurant on his phone and when I opened his phone he was on his Facebook photo album he has that has only photos of his little girl on it... It was sweet to see!! He doesn't express to me that he misses her but I saw proof today that he does 

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