help with questions for dr

amber7111

hey ladies..i was told at the hospital that i lost my baby due to IC. i go for my postpartum visit thursday..i was hoping yall could help me with some questions i should ask her. i have a few but im sure some of yall with more experience with IC could think of some good questions i should ask. thank yall.

amber7111

thanks those are good questions. i know i probably shouldnt care what anyone thinks but i am afraid of what she might think of me for wanting to ttc as soon as possible. i know it sounds silly but my mama probably didnt mean to step on my toes but she acted like it was strange i wanted to ttc asap...it kind of discouraged me a bit. i dont want my dr to judge me even if she doesnt come out and say it in words.

DuggysMom

A friend I know had a loss due to IC (at 14 weeks) the same time I did (March 2010) and was pregnant again within 2 months.  It's not your doctors job (or anyone elses) to judge you on what your heart wants.  Go for it!

List from PP is a great one.  Covered everything I'd suggest.  Good luck!

SweetBaby2004

List from PP is great! 

As for feeling judged, I understand what you mean but don't let it deter you from asking.  We lost DS at 22 weeks and I asked very soon after delivery - not that I was planning to TTC the minute we got home from the hospital, but I wanted to really know what she suggested and also the chances of us having another late loss would be (as that factored into whether we would TTC again).  Drs advice was to wait 3-6 months to try again, because of how far we were.  We started at 3 months pp and got BFP 6 months pp.

 

weddedwife

First of all, worrying about being judged for wanting to ttc right away is normal. I think all loss mamas who want to try for another baby go through that. Part of it is worrying that people will think we are trying to "replace" the baby we lost. Another part is worrying that people will think you're "okay" now. Both of those are so far from the truth! I don't think anyone's ever really "ready" to be PgAL- it's scary. But at some point your desire for another child will outweigh worrying what other people think. Your doctor is probably already anticipating the "when can we try again" question; it's pretty normal.

At the time of my delivery, the on-call Dr. said my loss was due to preterm labor & IC. Since then, my Dr.s have reviewed my file carefully and decided that they do not believe it was IC, but just PTL that caused it. So you may want to ask about PTL, whether they think it was strictly IC, or PTL, or a combo- and why they think that. Ask about what preventative measures will be taken. You'll want a gameplan in place because PgAL will be scary enough as it is.

For me, I only discussed this stuff briefly at my postpartum visit. I couldn't emotionally handle the in depth conversation at that point. I scheduled a "pre-conception" appt. a month or two later, when I was in a better place emotionally, and really set up the "gameplan". So if you're feeling overwhelmed at your appt., know that that's an option too.

Good luck!