December 2011 Moms

Weirdness and sad things...

I haven't been a big contributor here the last few weeks. Quite honestly, I had a bunch of family in town that took me away initially and then I came back around the time of the drama following the day of bump silence which just kind of turned me off. Then, within a week or so, it seemed like all of the sudden there was an influx of newbies.  Not that I mind the new people- we're glad to have you- it's just a little tougher to get invested because the history's not there.

I guess the point of the post is that I came on today (home sick from work, so playing on the computer from bed) excited to catch up and it just kind of feels weird. I don't have much in the way of friends and family close by since we moved, so I do turn to this board a lot and I guess now, I feel a little out of touch. 

I'm so sad to read about everything that happened in CO and I'm still continually thinking of Fletcha and Milo and I guess I'm just looking for the happy. I feel so blessed for the wonderful things in my life but I just feel like everywhere you turn, there's another horror and I'm trying to figure out how to process it all.

I'm probably making no sense and there's no real rhyme or reason to this post- I guess I'm just wondering if I'm alone in any or all of this...

BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

 

Re: Weirdness and sad things...

  • You're definitely not alone!  I am glad to see you back and posting.  I remember you because of your adorable DD!  I know I'm not one of the "regulars" around here.  I work & recently it has picked up & I'm super busy during the day.  Idon't have a ton of time to jump on - usually just during my pump breaks during the day and then maybe right before bed.  I sometimes feel weird responding like, do people even know who I am?  :)

    Anyway my response was to just let you know you're not alone!  If you ever want to chat, let me know!  :) 

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  • I get what you are saying. For me it is weird to just go on as normal when someone on our board has had a loss. It's hard knowing that she can come on here at anytime and read about the joys and milestones in our lives while her son is no longer here. I am still so sad for Fletcha, I pray for her often.

    I am happy there are new people here. Dec. 2011 board is great (look around some others are not). I like that I can ask a question and get a bunch of answers in a short period of time. I am not a huge contributor here- dd has been better at napping so I have been on a bit more.

    I hope you feel better soon and get reacquainted with the board.
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  • ccip82ccip82 member

    I was wondering where you have been, but I just figured you might have moved over to Facebook or something. I still think about Milo and Fletcha everyday too. I understand where you are coming from about having difficulty processing some of the sadder parts of life.

    I hope you do continue to post here. I know this sounds silly, but it's sad sometimes when people stop posting. I enjoy reading a lot of people's posts and genuinely care about how you all and your LOs are doing.

    I hope you had a nice time with your family in town :) 

     

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  • Hey sunflwra! I am glad to see you. The day of silence fallout really disappointed me, too, but for the most part the regulars here were forgiving and understanding to those who accidentally posted. 

    I remember when I was just home from the hospital, sick as a dog, and very emotional. I logged on for some normalcy and saw a lot of unfamiliar newbies. Then suddenly I saw a post from ILML and felt instantly better. There is something comforting about seeing folks we know, but we were all newbies once, and hopefully these ladies will stay and become familiar, too. 

    This is a great board, with really nice ladies. I hope you will stick around.  

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  • ccip82ccip82 member
    imageKelly1109:

    You're definitely not alone!  I am glad to see you back and posting.  I remember you because of your adorable DD!  I know I'm not one of the "regulars" around here.  I work & recently it has picked up & I'm super busy during the day.  Idon't have a ton of time to jump on - usually just during my pump breaks during the day and then maybe right before bed.  I sometimes feel weird responding like, do people even know who I am?  :)

    Anyway my response was to just let you know you're not alone!  If you ever want to chat, let me know!  :) 

    I know who you are and enjoy reading your comments, your updated photos that you shared on HDBD (I think it was that day) were adorable :)

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  • Hey ladies- thanks for your comments- you're very sweet.  I didn't mean the original post to come off like I was considering leaving or anything (I don't think I could even if I wanted to- you ladies are addictive Stick out tongue). I think I'm just feeling a little out of place and the other sad stuff compounded it.  Just need to settle back in and get reacclimated.

    BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

    BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

    BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

    To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

     

  • Hey ladies- thanks for your comments- you're very sweet.  I didn't mean the original post to come off like I was considering leaving or anything (I don't think I could even if I wanted to- you ladies are addictive Stick out tongue). I think I'm just feeling a little out of place and the other sad stuff compounded it.  Just need to settle back in and get reacclimated.

    BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

    BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

    BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

    To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

     

  • Glad to see you back on the board, Sunflwra. I think your feelings are totally understandable. We all grieve for Fletcha, if we didn't then there's something majorly wrong. And, everyone grieves in their own way. 

    We live in a scary world, but my parents grew up in a scary world, too. I think the definition of scary just changes over time. I know my parents always told me that they thought the world they lived in was no place to bring up a child, but they did anyway and they did the best that they could to keep us safe. I think all generations have probably thought the same thing at some point in their lives.

    Today, I feel very solemn and quiet. I can't imagine what those families are going through. And, it's another moment that is going to make me hold DD a little tighter today.

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  • I know what you mean about processing all of the horrible things that have happened lately. Along with the tragedies you mentioned, we have had multiple arson attacks in our neighborhood over the past week. The fires were intentionally set, both at night and during the day and I'm terrified that it could be us. It was miraculous that nobody has been injured so far. 

    Glad to have you back sunflwra! 
    If nothing else, there are so many positive posts here about our babies growing, and changing each day it's a good reminder of what life is really about.

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    BFP #2 - MC Aug 2012 - D&C w/ complications
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  • I know I'm one of the newbies here and I just wanted to say, sorry you're feeling down.  I know exactly what you are saying about coming to a place you're comfortable and suddenly feeling out of sorts.  It's really hard for me to remember sometimes that you guys don't 'know' me since I've been lurking for so long and feel like I know all of the regular posters. 

    It is a very sad day and I too have been feeling down.  It's hard to imagine someone doing something so horrific and I have been thinking about the families who lost loved-ones all day long. 

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