Vent: Midwife!

ClairasMommy

Does anyone else not like their midwife. Thankfully I am going to be seeing many more midwifes before this baby arrives! At my first prenatal visit she did not give me ANY reasurement that the baby progressing the way it should. She kept asking if I have been bleeding....any cramping... We got to see the baby on the  bed side ultra-sound and we could see the heart beating and a very active baby and that was back at 8 weeks. All she had to say was the baby looks more like 6-7 weeks. I asked her if that concerned her and she said no but she can't promise that I wont misscarry. She even has called to check up on me which is nice but she keeps asking if i have experienced any bleeding? Stop asking me! Vent over! Anyone think I should be concerned?

schwabmomma

Sounds like you just need to keep looking for another midwife who's less negative. I would feel the same, she doesn't seem very helpful or reassuring. I would not worry about her comments, it all about how you're feeling. Just find someone you feel fits you better.

perplexed59

When I had spotting with my first I called my midwife and she point blank told me "well, you are either going to lose it or you aren't". At first I was taken aback and then I just realized that there was no point in sugar coating it all. It sounds to me like she is just a blunt tell you how it is person. Since she called you it shows that she is concerned but maybe doesn't know the best way to tell you that. During labour you will appreciate this. It sounds like she would tell you exactly what is going on and what needs to be done. I wouldn't be concerned but hopefully you will find other midwives in the group that you click better with. 

MrsW0615

Not everyone has a great bedside manner. She does seem to be showing concern, and it seems like she was calling to follow up on why the u/s measurement would be a little behind your LMP. I agree she could be more comforting, but reassurance isn't always guaranteed. I know in nursing school we weren't allowed to provide false reassurance or even tell someone it'll be okay. Your MW seems very matter-of-fact, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you do want someone to support you and understand your feelings of being a nervous and excited new mom. I went through this same thing. My first OB with DD was just like you described your MW. I found a new OB with my son and I just love her to pieces. She's very matter-of-fact, but is such a patient advocate and will listen to me and any concern I have and confronts those with the appropriate amount of reassurance. Ah, I can't say enough good things about my OB and I hope you find the same in a MW!