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Mostly a lurker, MIL related kinda vent..
I mostly lurk here, I've posted replies a few times but never a thread. I'm not even sure where this post should go, it's MIL related. I just wanted some opinions. Oh, and HI, I'm Alana 
DH and I haven't seen or spoken to his mama since our wedding day, which was May 19, exactly two months ago.
Back story:
We, along with most of his family and other brother, do not get along with their sister. She drinks heavy on a regular basis and she physically beats her husband when she's drunk (they're both in AA meetings and had to go to jail) and she also treats her kids like crap. She is best friends with my DH's ex (whom is also an addict with drugs, lost her two kids that her and my DH have together and we have them full time, (might I add that these two kids are his sisters niece and nephew). When she's been around our kids, she says awful things about my DH and I and tells them that we took them from their REAL mom, along with numerous other things. She's even went to the point to pull my step daughter (who honestly thinks I'm her mama b/c I've raised her most of her life) into a room alone, pull out a family picture of us, along with an old picture of birth mom and point out, that I'm Alana not her mama, and this is. (you get the picture). Just complete childish things. The list goes on... Bottom line, she's trouble and more drama than I'll ever be able to explain. Plus, she just absolutely hates us for no reason.
Okay, now to the point:
My MIL insisted over and over that we needed to invite his sister, etc... We both wanted her to have NO part in our wedding day because she has never once apologized to us for anything and I strongly believe in apology and forgiving. Everyone makes mistakes. Well, the day of my wedding my DH knew something was up because his mama was acting shady, so he made sure to repeat again, "I do not want her there". I also called to remind her and explained that this was OUR day and it wasn't going to be ruined, that if sister apologized, it would have been different". She replies, "okay, I understand, she's not coming", but she told my DH that she talked with me on the phone and I said it was okay for his sister to come, that it was no problem at all".
Well, my mama gives me a call and informs me that she's sitting in the front and I'm totally shocked. She tells me that she's spoken with my DH and explains he didn't know, and he knew something was up. Afterwards, DH and I talk and find out that his mama lied to me, him and everyone. Also, called his sister and told her it was more than okay for her to be there.
So, everything still went great but his mama never spoke to us after the wedding, the reception, didn't take pictures and left extremely early. She knew what she had done, and fled the scene. We haven't heard from her since, she's not made even one attempt to call her son and apologize to him, me or the family. She hasn't even called to ask about her grand kids or anything, which she isn't grandma of the year anyways.
I'm thinking that if she hasn't made peace with us by the time I'm due with baby #5, that I don't want her there at the hospital to even visit. etc...
Okay, sorry so long. I'm just looking for opinions. How would you feel about this situation? What would you have done? and would you feel the same way? (not knowing every detail but I did try to explain as much as I could)
Hope this was okay to post here, wasn't sure where else would be appropriate.
Thanks y'all! Look forward to getting to know you all and sorry my first thread here is kind of a vent.
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Re: Mostly a lurker, MIL related kinda vent..
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
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I think you all were 100% in the right for not wanting his sister there, and a shis mother knows she was wrong and hasn't contacted you.... oh well, so be it. She basically traded her relationshpi w/ her one child for a relationship w/ her other child.
FUlly her choice and until she reaches out to you- I wouldn't be looking to contact her.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'm definitely enjoying the time away from my MIL, she was never my favorite person anyways. Her and my DH were really close, talked everyday and I would have said he is probably her favorite child but he honestly could care less that she hasn't contacted him. He hasn't even mentioned it one time, unless I've brought it up. I don't blame him because I feel the same way, it doesn't bother me. I just wondered if it would be wrong of me to not allow her at the hospital, when that time comes. I didn't want to feel like I was being childish but what she did was beyond that.
and yes, she knows she was extremely wrong, she is such a coward, in my opinion.
Exactly the bold up there. Her sorry daughter has stolen her money, torn her house up, called her tons of names, and drops her kids off on her all the time but she never even ask to see ours. Makes sense to me, not! My DH would bend over backwards for his mama but until our wedding day, I thought she would have done the same.