*Parenting after Loss Check-In*

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies,I hope everyone is well and positive this week! If anyone has any questions they would like to ask, please don't be shy.Did you already have the nursery completed before your loss? If so, did you use the same nursery for your rainbow or did you change it? Did you have a theme? If you have an older child(ren), what is their room(s) like? Any theme? When you look at your child(ren), do you look for similarities and compare them to your angel(s)? How does this make you feel? Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? 

StephK86

Hi ladies!

Did you already have the nursery completed before your loss? My son was born six weeks early and I just had my baby shower a few days before I had him. So I had mostly everything for his nursery but not ready. As I wanted to see what I got before I purchased the rest. While he was in the NICU my family helped SO and I get everything together.

 

If so, did you use the same nursery for your rainbow or did you change it? After he died many things I ordered had just came in. He died two days before his due date. I was so relieved when my rainbow was a boy because if I had to pack up all Gavin's stuff I would have lost it. The answer is yes we did keep the same theme. We moved about a month after Gavin's death so the walls in our new house were repainted/wall papered and some more things were added but the them is the same.

 

Did you have a theme? The theme is/was Jungle animals.

 

If you have an older child(ren), what is their room(s) like? I have a step son and he has a room full of toys, games, learning activities etc. He also has a blanket that is Jungle Animals which was made when I picked Gavin's theme so they had something alike. Any theme? His actual theme is Cars.

 

When you look at your child(ren), do you look for similarities and compare them to your angel(s)? It is insane how much Blake and Gavin look the same. When I had him my little 12 year old sister came up to me and smiled. She said "Gavin came back to us." Now that Blake is getting older I wonder if they would still look the same or not. They both look just like their half brother too.  How does this make you feel? It makes me feel sad that I do not get to know what my son really would look like (in fact this is making me cry.)

 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? More babies. I want two more just not sure when the time is right. I have some things I want to finish before having another one. I had almost two missed periods even though I am on the pill and that of course that didn't help. The wheels were turning with the what if's? Every pregnancy and each child will be hard though. I can have as many as I want and my family will not be complete and that really, really pains me.

Mrs Nice

Did you already have the nursery completed before your loss? If so, did you use the same nursery for your rainbow or did you change it? Did you have a theme?  My nursery was almost completely finished when we lost Ian. My parents actually came over the night before we lost him to help set it up and organize it. When we came home from the hospital my parents had been over and shut everything in the room with the door closed. At the time it was too painful to go in there. We lost Ian in March and I couldn't go back in until after I was pg again and I needed to get things finished for our rainbow. I believe it was November or December. I kept the room the same bc it would have been a lot of work to do it again and I think it would have been even more painful to take everything away that I had done for Ian. My theme is Winnie the Pooh. We were team green.  When you look at your child(ren), do you look for similarities and compare them to your angel(s)? How does this make you feel?  I never got to see Ian's eyes, hear his cry, or see him smile. When I look at Zachary I wonder if Ian would have had the same facial expressions. They do have the same nose, same chin, same cheeks. It kind of makes me think that I can get to know some of Ian through Zachary tho I know they are different. 

pottermommy

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*PIP WARNING~*~*~*~*~*~* 

 

 

Did you already have the nursery completed before your loss?

 

Well no, they are also different sexes so we couldn't have reused the butterfly garden theme anyways..... 

 

  

 Did you have a theme?

 

Yup, I hand painted clouds over a bright blue wall and did some words, the theme is sent from heaven above.

 

 

 If you have an older child(ren), what is their room(s) like? Any theme?

 

I have Katie, she is  and is right now my SD though hopefully I can adopt her soon.  It was Hannah Montana.until last week we are in the process of redoing it, her walls are highlighter pink with light purple vertical stripes and then I painted a pair of old shutters purple and hung them on either side of her wall mounted TV. 

 

We are haning window boxes inside her window and filling it with fake flowers.  And I am painting her a series of three pictures on canvas.  That will take a bit though.

 

When you look at your child(ren), do you look for similarities and compare them to your angel(s)?

 

THey look nearly identical.  It is almost scary.....

 

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This is Gabriel,

 

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This is Kamryn

 

 

 How does this make you feel?

 

It is painful alot of the time, it makes me miss her unbelievably. 

 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? 

 

I don't understand why I am already gettin anxious about her 4 year angelversary, I thought it would be easier this year with G here.  It isn't.  Oh and we are still getting over the pertussis/ wooping cough.

julesverne

Did you already have the nursery completed before your loss? If so, did you use the same nursery for your rainbow or did you change it? Did you have a theme? If you have an older child(ren), what is their room(s) like? Any theme?

 

The nursery was far from finished, but it was painted, the crib was in there, and we had sheets, and things to hang on the wall. We kept the same theme for DD (Classic Pooh), 

 

When you look at your child(ren), do you look for similarities and compare them to your angel(s)? How does this make you feel? 

 

I don't see any similarities now, but when DD was a newborn, I could see the resemblance. Sadly, it was when DD was sleeping, that she looked like Jack once he died (from his funeral). It made me a little sad to only see the similarities of when he died, but then it made me happy to think that Jack's little sister looks a bit like him, and it kind of gives me an idea of what he might have looked like once he got older.

weddedwife

We have a 3 yo daughter. She was going to share the room with Nathaniel so her nursery would've been his too. We were team green for her so the theme works for either gender, it is alphabet, numbers & animals. Mostly yellow & red with lots of other colors mixed in. When we bought DD a big girl bed I remember looking at the room and thinking it was nuts to think a crib would've also fit in there too, which of course made me sad.

When Nathaniel was born he looked exactly like DD, I mean exactly. It was crushing. Every day I look at her and know I'm seeing a piece of my son as well. I know what he would've looked like as a newborn, at 6 months, at one year. It breaks my heart.

Suggestion for a question: did/will you incorporate your angel baby's name into your rainbow's? Why or why not?