Do you have one of THOSE friends?

HoolahZinger

My friend and I were discussing my m/c and she nonchalantly said, "Yea I think I had a miscarriage because I think my period was late but then I started. Anyway, I'm not too upset since I wasn't really sure or anything but, yea, I think I did have one." Gosh, it's hard to hear when ladies just flippantly throw around the term and jabber on. I just don't even know what to say. It's life changing and so consuming for me and my family. It just hurts to hear. Anyone else have that experience? 

liveitloveitdone

I think I have a lot of people in my life that don't understand how gut wrenching a mc is and it really irritates me. Its not easy, yet people just want to tell me life will go on and it will eventually happen. I had a "friend" tell me not to be jealous of her twins because a few days after our ultrasound was empty I told her it was hard to be around babies at that time. Needless to say we are not friends anymore.  

smashley_ever_23

Mine is a little different.. I am a maid of honor in a wedding in April next year. I just m/c last week. I would have delivered a few weeks before her wedding. I was dreading having to tell her b/c I knew deep down she was happy that she didn't have to stress about me buying or fitting into a dress. I know its horrible for me to think that but its true. she stressed from the moment I told her I was prego. 

MeganS313

yes.  I have a friend who SWEARS she had a miscarriage at our friends house during small group and they stayed the whoel time etc.  She is also a bit of a hypochondriac.  I just usually let it slide off b/c I'm afraid I'll go off on her if I say anythign at all. 

smashley_ever_23

p.s.  How do i get this ticker off ??????? I don't want to see it anymore. help!

weaslewam

Can it please be Throat Punch TUESDAY!? Ugh, the nerve of some people... seriously.

Bizzy80

Yes, my MIL has told me she miscarried twins about a year after my DH was born.  The thing is that she never even went to the doctor to confirm she was pregnant in the first place.  Her period was late and when she started bleeding she had large clots.  Two to be exact so it must have been twins is her reasoning.  I hate to sound so mean about it but she never even went to the doctor to confirm this so how does she know?  When she found out I had miscarried she never even achnowledged my loss and it still hurts.  OP, I am sorry about your friend saying that to you.  She has no clue!

liveitloveitdone

Bizzy80:

Yes, my MIL has told me she miscarried twins about a year after my DH was born.  The thing is that she never even went to the doctor to confirm she was pregnant in the first place.  Her period was late and when she started bleeding she had large clots.  Two to be exact so it must have been twins is her reasoning.  I hate to sound so mean about it but she never even went to the doctor to confirm this so how does she know?  When she found out I had miscarried she never even achnowledged my loss and it still hurts.  OP, I am sorry about your friend saying that to you.  She has no clue!

I really don't see her reasoning clots= babies. I always have clots when I have AF. 

Bizzy80

liveitloveitdone:

Bizzy80:

Yes, my MIL has told me she miscarried twins about a year after my DH was born.  The thing is that she never even went to the doctor to confirm she was pregnant in the first place.  Her period was late and when she started bleeding she had large clots.  Two to be exact so it must have been twins is her reasoning.  I hate to sound so mean about it but she never even went to the doctor to confirm this so how does she know?  When she found out I had miscarried she never even achnowledged my loss and it still hurts.  OP, I am sorry about your friend saying that to you.  She has no clue!

I really don't see her reasoning clots= babies. I always have clots when I have AF. 

Yeah, same here.  I didn't argue with her about it but it is hard for me to believe she was actually pg with twins. 

Fuzzy21

The nerve of people. Unfortunately, I'm now finding out that these stupid remarks are too common.  Why can't people think before they speak

GlitterFartingUnicorn

I will never understand why people always want to have a miscarriage. It's not like some cool club or anything. I would have thrown up rainbows all over that.

ct103

Yep, I sure do know people like that. Another one that gets thrown in my face is "I have a friend/sister/SIL who had a m/c but got pregnant again right after and now their baby is perfect!". I see, so they haven't been through 2 yrs of TTC like me? Well, that just makes everything okay then, because we know ALL women who miscarry get a rainbow baby next time. Jeez, why do people think they need to make this okay?! It is most certainly NOT okay!

HoolahZinger

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. She thinks the best time to get pregnant is a couple days before a period. When I said we were in the two week window, waiting to find out, she said I should be able to just find out with a test. I tried to explain what an ovulation cycle was and all and just changed the subject since I was going nowhere. She has two little ones. Seriously, how do women not know this stuff?!

BootsOrHearts

Yeah my mom is one of those friends lol. She mentions that she had a miscarriage once, in the middle of a conversation, 3 weeks after mine, but adds no detail, just goes on to the next topic like it's nothing.

ct103

To be honest with you, these comments actually make me hate the word "miscarriage" because I feel like dumb idiots who "think" they've had one make it seem like it's no big deal. It is a big effing deal. These are the words I choose instead of say "I had a miscarriage""

"Last October I got pregnant, and in November we lost the baby."  

missesru

Not just a friend... this is the exact story my MIL tells me whenever my losses come up.  Not so comforting to someone who's experienced a D&C and a natural m/c (after seeing a h/b).  Thanks MIL.