Anyone feel like getting angry? NYT article

catsinawindow

This article is just so full of crap, I don't even know where to start:  https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/breastfeeding-and-sex-is-latching-on-a-turn-off/

I didn't know whether to laugh about how rediculous it was, or to get angry about the ideas and sterotypes he perpetuates.

When did sex and BFing become mutually exclusive?  This man's marriage definately has issues, but I don't think BFing is one of them.  Wish I could be a fly on the wall when his wife reads this piece...

pepomntpat

OH, FFS! I still don't like DH to touch my breasts. They are over sensitive, but we have plenty of sex. 

This man doesn't have sex with his wife because he is a selfish idiot who can't see beyond the end of his nose.  

IncogNeato

I'm glad my husband doesn't think that my boobs are his and that my relationship with him trumps that of mine with my child.

Because he would be wrong. Now, I'm not bfing a 5 year old, either, but he sounds like a d!ck.

judahsmommy1

This could be an UO. When it comes to extended breastfeeding (like breastfeeding a 5 year old) I think that is a choice that both parents need to be a part of. Just like I would include my husband in a discussion about my son's other nutritional needs, the decision to breastfeed should be made by both parents. It is 100% none of my business what other women decide to do with their breasts, but when it comes to my children and my breasts, my husband gets a (partial) say so because it impacts him as well and they are HIS kids.

He needed to talk to his wife about this, not write an article. It's a private family matter and writing an article about it does no good at all. 

Swainb

Ok this guy is an ass, but he kinda has a point, if I was breastfeeding my son so long that my husband was getting jealous of it, it might be time to quit. I'm all for extended BF, but 5?

Swainb

And if you read the comments apparently he is getting divorced, so that explains why he is being such an ass. Not that that is an excuse. 

catsinawindow

judahsmommy1:

This could be an UO. When it comes to extended breastfeeding (like breastfeeding a 5 year old) I think that is a choice that both parents need to be a part of. Just like I would include my husband in a discussion about my son's other nutritional needs, the decision to breastfeed should be made by both parents. It is 100% none of my business what other women decide to do with their breasts, but when it comes to my children and my breasts, my husband gets a (partial) say so because it impacts him as well and they are HIS kids.

He needed to talk to his wife about this, not write an article. It's a private family matter and writing an article about it does no good at all. 

I partially agree with you here.

Any and all feeding decisions should be made by both parents.  But, in the article, it doesn't sound like he disagrees with extended BFing because of nutrition, but because he thinks it's messing up his sex life.  This is what I have an issue with.

First, why should BFing mess up your sex life?  If he's so repulsed by BFing that HE doesn't want to have sex, then that's his problem.  If SHE doesn't want to have sex, maybe it doesn't have anything to do with the BFing.  Really, it just sounds like the couple needs counseling.

Also, where do we draw the line?  Should dad be able to stop mom from BFing a newborn for these reasons?  How about a 6 month old?  A 1 year old?  Sometimes it seems like extended BFing is just an easy target for people who are uncomfortable with BFing altogether. 

catsinawindow

Swainb:

And if you read the comments apparently he is getting divorced, so that explains why he is being such an ass. Not that that is an excuse. 

Wow, talk about airing your dirty laundry for all to see...

MommaG123

Yeah I'm kind of confused by the article.  What part exactly is BFing playing in him not getting any?  Is it just that it grosses him out?  Because I can't get on board with a man who would be repulsed by a woman using her boobs for their functional purpose.

Kitiara5512

Whatafuckingdouche!!!!!

judahsmommy1

lisagde:

judahsmommy1:

This could be an UO. When it comes to extended breastfeeding (like breastfeeding a 5 year old) I think that is a choice that both parents need to be a part of. Just like I would include my husband in a discussion about my son's other nutritional needs, the decision to breastfeed should be made by both parents. It is 100% none of my business what other women decide to do with their breasts, but when it comes to my children and my breasts, my husband gets a (partial) say so because it impacts him as well and they are HIS kids.

He needed to talk to his wife about this, not write an article. It's a private family matter and writing an article about it does no good at all. 

I partially agree with you here.

Any and all feeding decisions should be made by both parents.  But, in the article, it doesn't sound like he disagrees with extended BFing because of nutrition, but because he thinks it's messing up his sex life.  This is what I have an issue with.

First, why should BFing mess up your sex life?  If he's so repulsed by BFing that HE doesn't want to have sex, then that's his problem.  If SHE doesn't want to have sex, maybe it doesn't have anything to do with the BFing.  Really, it just sounds like the couple needs counseling.

Also, where do we draw the line?  Should dad be able to stop mom from BFing a newborn for these reasons?  How about a 6 month old?  A 1 year old?  Sometimes it seems like extended BFing is just an easy target for people who are uncomfortable with BFing altogether. 

I don't know that he should be able to stop her from breastfeeding, but they need to have a discussion about the fact that there's a problem! If something is turning my husband off to the point that he doesn't want to have sex with me, then we need to talk! What we decide to do from that point forward is a private matter between the two of us. My biggest problem with this guy isn't that he's turned off by extended breastfeeding, but that he decided to publicize his lack of interest in sex with his wife and blame her for it. (jerk much?!) 

There are a LOT of things that "shouldn't" mess up a couple's sex life that do. Breastfeeding can be one of them.  The point is that it should be addressed by the couple privately and with a counselor if necessary. Not in an on-line article that will be read by a bunch of other people.  Instead of pointing fingers and accusing each other ("You shouldn't be turned off by breast feeding!" "You shouldn't let our 5 year old suck on your boobs!") they need to find a solution together to a problem that affects their whole family.

[Deleted User]

Men who can't reconcile their wives as mothers and as sex objects are p*ssies. 

/gavel

I have a hang up about my boobs in regards to sex that I'm starting to get over, but my husband certainly does not.

LuckyDad

Didn't we decide a month or so ago that women could easily give a bj while BF?

pepomntpat

Scout2005:

judahsmommy1:

This could be an UO. When it comes to extended breastfeeding (like breastfeeding a 5 year old) I think that is a choice that both parents need to be a part of. Just like I would include my husband in a discussion about my son's other nutritional needs, the decision to breastfeed should be made by both parents. It is 100% none of my business what other women decide to do with their breasts, but when it comes to my children and my breasts, my husband gets a (partial) say so because it impacts him as well and they are HIS kids.

He needed to talk to his wife about this, not write an article. It's a private family matter and writing an article about it does no good at all. 

I agree with you.

I also think this guy's tone and attitude suck, but your point is well made. 

It's not about the BFing, it's about serious failure to communicate in a marriage. 

I do not believe he did not get any anyway. He has a younger child as well. Obviously they were having sex. He's just a jerk who wants to be the center of the universe. It is quite obvious why they are divorcing. 

And you are right, this is definitely not about BFing. I also noticed that he used the word "loved" when referring to his children. That is disturbing to me. I just cannot care about a man's feelings when he blames everything on a wife and uses the past tense of love when referring to his children.

Grammar police or Freudian slip...he's a jerk. 

ThePolishHammer

LuckyDad:

Didn't we decide a month or so ago that women could easily give a bj while BF?

LOL 

littlemac1117

pepomntpat:

And you are right, this is definitely not about BFing. I also noticed that he used the word "loved" when referring to his children. That is disturbing to me. I just cannot care about a man's feelings when he blames everything on a wife and uses the past tense of love when referring to his children.

Grammar police or Freudian slip...he's a jerk. 

I am glad I'm not the only one who noticed this. It really bothered me as well.