September 2012 Moms
redneckmomma25
member
2 Shower Etiquette ?'s *cough* Rora
redneckmomma25
member
Looking at you Rora since you seem to know the most about shower etiquette. But please, anyone else chime in as well.
1. How inappropriate is it for my sister to host my shower at my own home?
2. I feel like inviting people I know cannot make it (DH's aunts who live across country whom I have not met) is asking for gifts, even though I think it is polite to invite them. My MIL was just invited to one of their daughter's baby shower. Should the registry info be left out and if they feel so inclined to buy something they can ask?
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Re: 2 Shower Etiquette ?'s *cough* Rora
Good questions.....patiently waiting the answers...
FWIW, I invite everyone, only because I hate being left out. Only child issue here.
But that is friends...I think family is different.
True I think it depends on your family though, I know mine wouldn't take it personal and I told my friends to let my SO know so he can tell his family .
1. How inappropriate is it for my sister to host my shower at my own home?
I don't think it's inappropriate at all, as your home may be the most practical place to have it. My good friend's shower was at her house, because one of the hosts was in the process of moving and one rents a small apartment. Friend's house was the best option for hosting many people.
2. I feel like inviting people I know cannot make it (DH's aunts who live across country whom I have not met) is asking for gifts, even though I think it is polite to invite them. My MIL was just invited to one of their daughter's baby shower. Should the registry info be left out and if they feel so inclined to buy something they can ask?
I dealt with the same question; H's family is all out of state. His parents and grandparents (on both sides) live in the same town and see each other regularly. His parents of course wanted to be invited to any shower, and his paternal grandmother insisted that she be invited as well, even though she wouldn't be able to attend... so my dilemma was whether to invite the grandmother and parents, but not his maternal grandparents, or just invite them all. I figured it's better to just cover them all.
But yeah, it's a fine line between polite and potentially greedy (in appearance). I don't know what the correct answer is here. I stuck to just people who I know can realistically attend, plus H's grandparents.
My friend who's hosting the shower ordered the invitations online and they already include the registration info, so for us there's not really a way to leave that off. Plus, the point of a shower is to send gifts, so if someone wants to get you something and doesn't know where you're registered, s/he will just find or make something.
I invited people who I knew couldn't make it, but those people were family not friends. If it had been friends I wouldn't have, but I felt that inviting family even if they can't make it is the proper thing to do because I don't want them to think that I purposely didn't invite them for some reason or another.
As far as having the shower at your house, I don't see an issue with that since you are not hosting it. I would just make sure the host helps if not completely cleans up afterwards. I think this far along I would welcome the shower to be at my house so I don't have to make the drive and then have to load up the gifts and unload them once I get home (even though DH will be in tow so I won't be doing that myself).
My mom took care of the invites so not sure how she did it, but I know they were included. A good idea I did for my wedding invites was to go on word and use a business card template; I put the registry info on there printed them off and cut them out that way they were small enough to fit in a wallet or purse and I didn't have a billion people asking where I was registered at.
1. totally okay, as long as it is known that your sis is hosting for you (i.e, RSVP is sent to sis, not you)
2. I invited family that lived long distance, just so they knew the date/ time, got to see the invitation, and also if they wanted to send a gift they could.
I would NOT send an invite to friends that are long distance that you know aren't coming.
Agreed.
My mom and close friend are throwing me a shower and they're having it at my home. It just made sense to do it there. My mom lives out of state, and my close friend just closed on her first house, so it was going to be much easier on them to just use our house, our furnishings, and so forth and so forth.
As long as people know you're not throwing the shower for yourself, it shouldn't be a problem.
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I know most of us did our wedding invitations quite some time ago (five years ago for me), but...
Shower invites are different from wedding invites. A wedding invitation should never include anything about a registry. Guests who want to know will find the information through other means.
The purpose of a shower (bridal or baby) is to "shower" the guest(s) of honor with gifts, therefore it's OK to include registry information.
1. I think as long as it's clear you're not the host, the location doesn't matter.
2. I'm generally inclined not to invite friends and family who live far away bc it does feel like a gift-grab if you know they won't hop on a plane. If it were a wedding, I'd say invite them, but no one's traveling coast-to-coast for a shower. I'd send them a birth announcement after the baby is here to let them feel included.
1. I had my shower at my house. My mother wouldn't do at our house and my sisters were the hosts. (one lives at home and the other in Norway). It also helped a ton because I didn't have to transport gifts anywhere and people loved seeing the nursery. It was a little stressful to try and get the house ready for the party though.
2. We invited family who we knew wouldn't make it. They like seeing the invitations and occassionally they will send a gift, but we invite them so they feel included not for a gift. I also invited a couple friends from out of town who I hoped would make it, but none of them ended up coming. I know they would have felt bad if they found out and didn't at least get an invite.
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1. Not at all inappropriate.
2. Inviting them makes them feel special. According to etiquette you aren't supposed to include registry info on any invitations ever. You should make sure your shower hostess(es) know where you are registered, as well as any other point people (your mom, etc), so that they can answer questions, and you should try to register at at least one obvious place (BRU, Target...) as some people will just look up registries and not bother asking if they find one.
HA! This is EXACTLY how I feel.
I do NOT like the registry info being included in the invite, shower or wedding or whatever.
My friends told me that was old fashioned and that it's now considered "considerate" to include the info so the guest doesn't have to go the extra step in finding out where you are registered.
I gave in and gave her the cards from BRU. I am not throwing my own showers. My friend included it on the invite and did not use the cards. I have not idea what my stepmom did because I have not seen that invite.