1st Trimester
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i would make a terrible husband

So I found an in and out(fast food) receipt on the counter and got annoyed because he's trying to lose weight and be healthier.. Little backstory, He's 80-100 lbs overweight, he just quit smoking 4 months ago(yay!), he has high cholesterol and high blood pressure. Being a nurse I am well aware of the risk factors he has for heart attack and stroke, and it worries me. He needs to lose weight not just for his appearance but so his triglyceride levels will decrease.

So anyway, I call him up at work and ask him about it. Apparently, our roommate bought the fast food and he got me and my dh something, but apparently my dh didn't want my burger to sit out all day(I get off work at midnight) so he ate it...

So I give him the whole thing about I want him around, I want him to eat better and then I said " you know, no one is going to lose weight for you."

How awful would I feel if he said that to me when I was trying to lose weight after the baby? and I decided to have a burger(well 2 in his case, and fries). But still, I'd be a terrible husband that's for sure.

BabyFruit Ticker

Re: i would make a terrible husband

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    Hmm I can't believe you'd call him at work about that...

    image

    Cooper Edward

    9.25.12

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    yeah, if my husband made a call to belittle me about my food choice I would probably sob for an hour
    image
    Missed m/c found @ 10 weeks - May 2010
    Missed m/c found @ 10.5 weeks - August 2012
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    imageNechamaChayim:
    yeah, if my husband made a call to belittle me about my food choice I would probably sob for an hour

    Yes  

     

    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

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    imageMegroons:
    Hmm I can't believe you'd call him at work about that...

    I often call him at work about anything, because we have opposite schedules. If I don't call him at work, we don't talk. He gets home at 5 pm. I go to work at 3pm. He's asleep when I get home. He can't call me at work because I can't take calls unless it's an emergency, but he's used to me calling him for stupid crap during the day.

    And actually it wasn't totally for that. We usually talk 2-3 times a day before I head out for work. So that was just one of the calls, but it is mainly what we chatted about.

    BabyFruit Ticker
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    imageNechamaChayim:
    yeah, if my husband made a call to belittle me about my food choice I would probably sob for an hour

     I know, me too, that's why I felt guilty after. I need to apoligize now before the guilt eats me alive. I feel so bad.

    BabyFruit Ticker
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    I apoligized. I knew right after I got off the phone that I shouldn't have mentioned the food at all during our first conversation, but you ladies made me realize more so that I should make sure he wasn't feeling bad. He said he wasn't, but thought it was sweet that i called back to say sorry.

    I know he has body issues just like me. We used to both be athletic, but work/responsibilities/fatigue has gotten in the way of that. Thank you all :)

    BabyFruit Ticker
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    I would feel bad if my husband gave me a hard time about my diet but I'm also not  overweight and certainly not 80-100 lbs. overweight.  He's obviously not trying very hard to change his eating habits so I think you're justified in talking to him about it.  He has himself, you and his baby to think about.  It's a bummer that you have to talk to him at work but if that's your only option, it needs to be addressed there.

    Do you have weekends off together? Could you focus on exercising together?

     

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    image82Sonia:

    I would feel bad if my husband gave me a hard time about my diet but I'm also not  overweight and certainly not 80-100 lbs. overweight.  He's obviously not trying very hard to change his eating habits so I think you're justified in talking to him about it.  He has himself, you and his baby to think about.  It's a bummer that you have to talk to him at work but if that's your only option, it needs to be addressed there.

    I gained a lot of weight while taking medications for serious mental illness issues. It was difficult for my husband. It took a long time but eventually he learned that those kinds of talks are not helpful. Losing weight is hard. It takes a lot of effort and commitment. The body does not want to let go of excess fat as much as we do. Having your spouse belittle you for eating a cheeseburger is not what helps you accomplish the task. If  man is 100lbs overweight he probably knows he has a problem. Positive support and encouragement will go a lot further to help him out. I bet the OP already knew that and it's part of why she felt guilty.

    image
    Missed m/c found @ 10 weeks - May 2010
    Missed m/c found @ 10.5 weeks - August 2012
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    I certainly don't condone belittling your spouse over a little weight gain but 100 lbs. is in the life threatening range.  I was just noting that I think she is justified in talking about his diet with him. 

    I'm sure that losing weight is really hard.  Unfortunately, putting it on is so much easier.

     

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