In the Middle-Short Story LOL

BabyHernandez03

I'm feeling a bit flustered. I keep getting thrown between SO & his ex wife as "the planner". Meaning plan on when the kids get dropped off picked up etc. I have no problem doing this generally when its easy & to the point. Well tonight she has a party for her SO's father, so she can drop them off @ 6pm or after the party (late) I won't be here @ 6pm & my SO will be at work. He doesn't want them dropped off late, wants to know why she can't do it earlier etc. She says come pick them up @ 8 pm (over 1/2 hr away) He doesn't want to do that. She says can I drop them off tomorrow? ((Mind you I'm attempting to text/call him in between all these questions)) He doesn't want to do that either, wants to know why can't I come home from my mothers early. At the end of this story, he's upset with me because i will not be home & he has work to do & his ex won't do what he planned. Rawr.... Is it just me or should they be handling this between the 2 of them? (apparently he is too busy today to do that though) 

 

I apologize I needed to vent, opinion's are welcome in how to get across to them i am not the personal assistant.  

MarSamWhitney

I was once in your shoes and I finally had to tell H that enough was enough. After all, it is HIS kid. Its not my fault that BM and H can not get along, they need to get past it and try to communicate better.

Do I still get put in the middle a lot? Yes...but once I finally spoke up it got a lot better. Good luck!!

BabyHernandez03

Thank you. Maybe i just need to tell him this. The thing is, they generally get along well enough to speak in reference to the kids so I'm just sitting here going really? 

SueBear

Tell him to contact her directly.  Picking them up is HIS responsibility, so you will not be changing your plans early to accomodate the two of them.  Your time and plans is important, too.

Really, having your H drive 1/2 hour either way is no big deal.  He is being lazy.

Littlejen22

I would have told him to deal with it himself or you will tell her to come when she is done at the party or he can drive the 30 or so minutes, she gave him very reasonable options and he is being difficult. And I would not make the kid leave a party early unless you know 100% that he does not want to be there. 

BabyHernandez03

Thank you all! He ended up picking them up-they met in the middle & apologized. 

Ilumine

BabyHernandez03:

I'm feeling a bit flustered. I keep getting thrown between SO & his ex wife as "the planner". Meaning plan on when the kids get dropped off picked up etc. I have no problem doing this generally when its easy & to the point. Well tonight she has a party for her SO's father, so she can drop them off @ 6pm or after the party (late) I won't be here @ 6pm & my SO will be at work. He doesn't want them dropped off late, wants to know why she can't do it earlier etc. She says come pick them up @ 8 pm (over 1/2 hr away) He doesn't want to do that. She says can I drop them off tomorrow? ((Mind you I'm attempting to text/call him in between all these questions)) He doesn't want to do that either, wants to know why can't I come home from my mothers early. At the end of this story, he's upset with me because i will not be home & he has work to do & his ex won't do what he planned. Rawr.... Is it just me or should they be handling this between the 2 of them? (apparently he is too busy today to do that though) 

 

I apologize I needed to vent, opinion's are welcome in how to get across to them i am not the personal assistant.  

Honestly, why are you with a man who doesnt want to drive 30 minutes to pick up his children? 

Seriously, this says a lot about your SO's personality and his commitment to his children, but more importantly how he will look at YOU and YOUR children. 

I get that working with an uncooperative Ex is taxing and all that.  But this isnt about HER being pissy, but him being lazy.  He wants YOU to work out his children's schedules.  He wants YOU to come home early to care for his children because HE doesnt want to drive 30 mins (if you live in the National Capital Region, that is a trip to the effing grocery store).

I rarely tell people to leave their SO, but if he actually got angry at YOU for not changing YOUR plans for HIS responsibility (you are not even married yet), then it will only get worse.

Dump his ass and find a responsible grown up.

BabyHernandez03

Ilumine:

BabyHernandez03:

I'm feeling a bit flustered. I keep getting thrown between SO & his ex wife as "the planner". Meaning plan on when the kids get dropped off picked up etc. I have no problem doing this generally when its easy & to the point. Well tonight she has a party for her SO's father, so she can drop them off @ 6pm or after the party (late) I won't be here @ 6pm & my SO will be at work. He doesn't want them dropped off late, wants to know why she can't do it earlier etc. She says come pick them up @ 8 pm (over 1/2 hr away) He doesn't want to do that. She says can I drop them off tomorrow? ((Mind you I'm attempting to text/call him in between all these questions)) He doesn't want to do that either, wants to know why can't I come home from my mothers early. At the end of this story, he's upset with me because i will not be home & he has work to do & his ex won't do what he planned. Rawr.... Is it just me or should they be handling this between the 2 of them? (apparently he is too busy today to do that though) 

 

I apologize I needed to vent, opinion's are welcome in how to get across to them i am not the personal assistant.  

Honestly, why are you with a man who doesnt want to drive 30 minutes to pick up his children? 

Seriously, this says a lot about your SO's personality and his commitment to his children, but more importantly how he will look at YOU and YOUR children. 

I get that working with an uncooperative Ex is taxing and all that.  But this isnt about HER being pissy, but him being lazy.  He wants YOU to work out his children's schedules.  He wants YOU to come home early to care for his children because HE doesnt want to drive 30 mins (if you live in the National Capital Region, that is a trip to the effing grocery store).

I rarely tell people to leave their SO, but if he actually got angry at YOU for not changing YOUR plans for HIS responsibility (you are not even married yet), then it will only get worse.

Dump his ass and find a responsible grown up.

Thanks for your input, Like I said, it worked itself out & they took care of it between the 2 of them & I did get a heartfelt apology.   I do very much appreciate the concern though!