Nevermind! NBR - should I snitch on my family?

Harper'smom

My dad turns 50 today. My dad was 17 when I was born but had primary custody of me for most of my life and we are really close. One of his siblings wanted to throw a big party for him and he said "thanks but no thanks I don't want to celebrate my bday in any form". His sister pressed the issue, he got upset, the party was called off. Then we found out she was still planning the party and had gone so far as to get another sibling to buy a non refundable plane ticket to fly across the country for the party. There was another blow up and it was agreed again that there would be no party. My dad and I also agreed we would not travel the 100 miles with our girls because, since I go back to work Monday, it would be a turn around trip. I don't want to go visit when he doesn't want us to.

My drama mongering stepmom just texted me saying they are all going out to dinner to celebrate tomorrow night for his bday. I replied "huh? Dad agreed to go?" and she replied "I hope so". I'm pissed they can't let it go and plan on ambushing him. He will lose his shiit when this goes down tomorrow. I feel obligated to tell him but I don't want to ruin his actual bday. Either way we will not be going as I am choosing to respect his wishes. I made a last ditch effort to appeal to one of my more sensible aunts and told her to call it off via email.

WWYD? I'm pissed that after 50 years he can't just be left alone if that's what he wants. 

ETA: He just emailed me saying a dinner is being thrown and he can attend if he wants. He does not plan on attending. I do not have to snitch.

ImThisBabysMom

I would tell. I wouldn't want anyone ambushed. He's gonna be pizzed either way but I think its better he knows.

Harper'smom

ImThisBabysMom:

I would tell. I wouldn't want anyone ambushed. He's gonna be pizzed either way but I think its better he knows.

I think I would of...he doesn't get over things like that.  

Izzygrim

That is so annoying! I think you are doing the right thing though - respecting your father's wishes and doing what you can to get others to respect them as well. If I were you I'd probably unfortunately drop it at this point though. I've learned people are going to do what they really want to do regardless and the planners make it more about what they want then what the honoree wants. Maybe when he gets there he won't be so pissed about it? My mom and I both HAAAATE surprises but both ended up getting surprised this year (one of my showers and my mom's 60th) and even though I'm still annoyed about it, it wasn't as bad as I had thought (I figured out the surprise beforehand).

ETA Ok nevermind, I see the problem has been somewhat solved!

ImThisBabysMom

Harper'smom:

ImThisBabysMom:

I would tell. I wouldn't want anyone ambushed. He's gonna be pizzed either way but I think its better he knows.

I think I would of...he doesn't get over things like that.  

Glad you didn't have to make the decision. If only everything could work out so easily!