Off leash dogs at a party?

ASmallWonder

We went to a cookout yesterday and I turn around and Aiden's yelling "Puppy!" and hauling ass toward a dog (who doesn't belong to the people throwing the cookout).  I told him to stop and be gentle because we don't know the dog and we don't want to scare it.  Now, I admit that I am afraid of dogs so I know that influences my reactions to these things.  A young guy (a friend of the family, I guess) said "Oh that's my dog - no worries, he's super chill."   I let Aiden pat him but every time I put Aiden down the dog came over to him because Aiden was eating a hot dog and even a sweet dog is going to want a hot dog   We had to dance around the yard because he wouldn't leave my son alone and when he did for two seconds, he was practically burning his nose on the grill, trying to steal a hamburger or hot dog.  Finally my son "dropped" his hot dog (I don't believe for a second it was an accident - he wanted to share it with the dog haha)

Anyway, I wasn't mad about the dog but it makes it hard when you're afraid or you have a small child and this owner just wandered off and let this dog sniff around, trying to steal everyone's food.  Is my paranoia coloring how I feel or is it not cool?

michaels_girl

When I have taken my dogs, invited, to a gathering at someone else's house, I do not take my eyes off them.  especially with children around.  The one time I left my dog outside to play with the other dog (while the children were inside) a person opened the gate and let my dog loose in an unfamiliar neighborhood.  Everyone proceeded to lose their buzz chasing her for an hour.  They learned their lesson.

Wufroggy79

I don't know if I would leash our dog (granted, he's a small Boston Terrier that wouldn't hurt a fly), but I would definitely watch him for bothering other people and going after food.  

gnomemom

We keep our dog on a leash unless she is at our house or visiting family (no one in the family has small children, though). Our dog weighs over 100lbs and still has puppy energy. While she is trained not to jump on people or take food that is not in her bowl, I wouldn't want to stress out other guests who could be unsure about a large dog. Even though we know she is a well-trained and sweet golden retriever, some people are afraid of dogs and have a right to not have one up in their space, harmless or not.

CinemaGoddess

Unpossi - We went to a BBQ yesterday at a house that was completely not-babyproofed.  The girls had a heyday and I think I lost 10 lbs just chasing them around.

The lol-ingest part of the whole thing was that the people who hosted the BBQ have a 2 month old and they were keeping track of what they needed to babyproof based on what the girls got into. 

RasberryBrainstorm

We have a friend who brings his dog along many places- he always asks the host first, and will leash him if he misbehaves, which is rare.  But he is more the exception than the rule.  The problem in your situation was the owner- he should have been keeping an eye on him.

Kitiara5512

Unpossible:

I have a dog and am a huge dog lover but if my dog was getting all up in everyone's grill (and the grill), I would leash him.

 

 

This. Also, my dogs only ever go to my parents home, and there they get gated in the kitchen if people have an issue with them.

judahsmommy1

I love dogs and consider myself to be a "dog person". My son already knows that the rule is that we don't touch doggies without asking. It's a major safety issue. Unless the dog is incredibly well behaved and will lie in a corner while guests eat (My parent's dog will), the dog needs to be leashed in an area with shade and water. I consider that to be a part of responsible dog ownership.

I also totally know what you mean about dropping the hotdog not being an accident. My son "accidentally" drops food all the time for my parent's dog. It drives the poor dog nuts because she's not allowed to be under the table during meal times so the food just lies on the floor and tempts her! I try to sweep it up if I notice it, but I don't catch it every time. 

missmuffin87

That's just plain rude. 

SEWF

I am so glad to hear all of you being so considerate of other people. I'm not a big dog person- I like them, but I'm not comfortable with most of them, and if I am, it generally has taken a lot of time for me.

I see so many people just let their dogs wonder my neighborhood, usually off leash with the owner right behind them with a leash in their hand, but not connected to the dog. I try to stay calm, but unfamiliar dogs just make me uncomfortable. You never know what will set them off. They get annoyed by things just like people, and I want some assurance that that something won't be me.

So basically, thank you for being considerate to the few of us out there that get nervous around dogs. I, for one, really appreciate it.

judahsmommy1

I know that my parents don't automatically put my dog in another room when guests are over, but would in a heartbeat if they knew their dog made someone nervous! I think that's true of a lot of pet owners... they don't realize that it's making someone uncomfortable. I would hope that if they knew, they would respond.

I was in an art class one time and a woman thought she would bring her (giant) pet boa constrictor to class and let it slither around her neck while she painted. I'm terrified of snakes and wound up leaving the room. I poked my head back in and asked her to put it away and she did. I still wanted to spend the entire class standing on my chair, but at least I could be in the room! 

MintBerryCrunch

I love dogs, I have 2 big ones (a pointer and omggasp pitbull). But I get really anxious with strange dogs around DD. We went to a family party (husband's side) on Saturday and there was an intact male pit bull wandering around the whole time and I was a wreck. It was his aunt's dog and the party was at her house so it was her choice...but I just don't trust dogs with testicles. The dog's food was out, his toys and bed were at baby level...it just seemed like a bad situation. He did seem to be a really nice dog, but animals can react differently than usually expected when in crowds, loudness, around food, etc., and why he still had balls was beyond me but those things are dangling bits of trouble if you ask me! Anyway, when we have lots of people over, our dogs hang out in our room. It's just easier that way and no one has to worry about it.

ASmallWonder

Unpossible:

I'd also like to add that I can't stand it when people let their kids loose at a party to raise hell. I skipped a super awesome yesterday that P was invited to but I knew that the host had a really nice place with really nice, breakable shiit, and that I didn't want to chase my toddler around. So I opted out. 

Bottom line; if you're a guest and you bring your kid/dog, keep an eye on that shiit or else don't go at all.

 

I agree with this, too.  Nothing and no one should be roaming unsupervised  

ilovemygirls

MintBerryCrunch:

I love dogs, I have 2 big ones (a pointer and omggasp pitbull). But I get really anxious with strange dogs around DD. We went to a family party (husband's side) on Saturday and there was an intact male pit bull wandering around the whole time and I was a wreck. It was his aunt's dog and the party was at her house so it was her choice...but I just don't trust dogs with testicles. The dog's food was out, his toys and bed were at baby level...it just seemed like a bad situation.

That statement just made me LOL.  Love it.  That being said, my dog has testicles & he is the most chill dog ever- he's 10yrs old & has gone to work w/my DH almost every day of his life, so he's very well socialized & well behaved.  If anyone comes to our house, they expect that our dog will be out & about.  He's part of our family.  I am very vigilant with my kids around dogs that I don't know, so I get that too.  In that party situation, if the host was okay w/the dog owner bringing it, then that is where the story ends.  If the guest didn't clear it w/the host, then that is rude.  I would never bring my dog to someone's home uninvited.  And really, I wouldn't ask to bring him. 

a2pfunk

michaels_girl:

When I have taken my dogs, invited, to a gathering at someone else's house, I do not take my eyes off them.  especially with children around.  The one time I left my dog outside to play with the other dog (while the children were inside) a person opened the gate and let my dog loose in an unfamiliar neighborhood.  Everyone proceeded to lose their buzz chasing her for an hour.  They learned their lesson.

Umm did YOU learn a lesson?  Leave the pooches at home...

I am a huge dog lover. I have always had dogs, always will have dogs, and I get the luxury of working with dogs.  That said, people need to remember that not everybody loves dogs.  Not everybody thinks they are cute.  There is no reason to bring your dog to another person's house for a party.  If you do, you should have them at your side heeling like a crazy mofo. 

Similarly, many people don't like kids.  The dog dude is probably on some K9 forum right now posting about his poor dog is sick because somebody brought their kid to a party and let them run amock throwing hot dogs on the ground and now his prize mut has indigestion.  Just saying, everybody has different preferences and should remember that in social settings you need to consider others. 

Something else to remember is that kids are TAUGHT to be afraid of dogs. This can happen through either a bad experience like being bitten or knocked down or by seeing their parents express major fear at the sight of a dog.  I am glad to  hear OP at least let the dog get close to their kid, but try to remember, your kid picks up on your fear and will think that all dogs are bad and should be feared. 

Lastly, I have to say that I am totally biased against small dogs.  For some reason small dog owners totally let their dogs act like a-holes because they are small and "cute".  People who have little dogs will often allow their dogs to be ill-mannered, disobedient, barking, nipping little bastards and dismiss it because the dog is small. But if a larger dog acted the same way, they would want the thing shot. We have a St. Bernard and a German Shepard.  If our dogs were allowed to strain at the end of a leash and bark and try to nip at everyone they saw... the way that many small dogs are allowed to do... we would likely get visits from animal control.  I guess I am "size-ist" when it comes to dogs, but I digress.

 

As for the OP, the dude shoulda kept an eye on his dog, but maybe you can use it as a learning experience. 

ASmallWonder

a2pfunk:

michaels_girl:

When I have taken my dogs, invited, to a gathering at someone else's house, I do not take my eyes off them.  especially with children around.  The one time I left my dog outside to play with the other dog (while the children were inside) a person opened the gate and let my dog loose in an unfamiliar neighborhood.  Everyone proceeded to lose their buzz chasing her for an hour.  They learned their lesson.

Umm did YOU learn a lesson?  Leave the pooches at home...

I am a huge dog lover. I have always had dogs, always will have dogs, and I get the luxury of working with dogs.  That said, people need to remember that not everybody loves dogs.  Not everybody thinks they are cute.  There is no reason to bring your dog to another person's house for a party.  If you do, you should have them at your side heeling like a crazy mofo. 

Similarly, many people don't like kids.  The dog dude is probably on some K9 forum right now posting about his poor dog is sick because somebody brought their kid to a party and let them run amock throwing hot dogs on the ground and now his prize mut has indigestion.  Just saying, everybody has different preferences and should remember that in social settings you need to consider others. 

Something else to remember is that kids are TAUGHT to be afraid of dogs. This can happen through either a bad experience like being bitten or knocked down or by seeing their parents express major fear at the sight of a dog.  I am glad to  hear OP at least let the dog get close to their kid, but try to remember, your kid picks up on your fear and will think that all dogs are bad and should be feared. 

Lastly, I have to say that I am totally biased against small dogs.  For some reason small dog owners totally let their dogs act like a-holes because they are small and "cute".  People who have little dogs will often allow their dogs to be ill-mannered, disobedient, barking, nipping little bastards and dismiss it because the dog is small. But if a larger dog acted the same way, they would want the thing shot. We have a St. Bernard and a German Shepard.  If our dogs were allowed to strain at the end of a leash and bark and try to nip at everyone they saw... the way that many small dogs are allowed to do... we would likely get visits from animal control.  I guess I am "size-ist" when it comes to dogs, but I digress.

 

As for the OP, the dude shoulda kept an eye on his dog, but maybe you can use it as a learning experience. 

Interesting take and I agree that not everyone loves kids but the whole "my dog got a hot dog" thing in THIS case I'd have to give the side eye to.  Only because it's not like I let my kid go running after the dog, giving him food.  The dog was like, up his diaper waiting for the food  It would be like me being upset with a host for having food out on a table for people and my kid roamed over and got into something he shouldn't.  The person/animal with something to lose is the one who needs to be watched, kwim?

I really do try not to let my fear of dogs impact him and so far he adores dogs so I hope it's working.  I'm not petrified of dogs and I don't hate them but I'm very very wary of large dogs and jumping dogs because I was attacked as a child.  Plus, I'm very small so when a dog stands on its hind legs it's often taller than me and it makes me feel helpless.  I hate when people chuckle and say "Oh he just wants to say hi."  WTF.  I don't want your dog hovering over me.  But if the owner is there and has the dog sit and tells me it's nice, we go over and say hi and pat it  

winomom22

I would have been incredibly annoyed. I get very irritated though with obnoxious dogs and their owners. I probably would have been making passive aggressive statements within earshot of the owner until he did something about his dog.

ASmallWonder

Scout2005:

Since this keeps getting bumped up, I'm back to thinking about it.

The thing that really, really pisses me off is how unfair this is to the DOG. You don't know that a child won't grab your dog, hurt them, frighten them, etc. And it's not like the dog can say "please stop."

Their only recourse is to take the abuse or growl/nip. And then the dog is the one who is blamed (and possibly even something more extreme, if it did nip or bite) when in reality, it's the owner who is at fault.

I don't want people to be scared or possibly hurt, but more than that, I don't want my dog put in a position like this. I wouldn't do that to her. I love her.

Right.  I think it was wrong of the owner to put all the pressure on his dog to not act like a dog and my son to not act like a toddler.  I was afraid the lure of food would be too much and he'd try to take the hot dog.  I also was afraid my son would touch the dog and startle him.  So basically this guy cruised in, left his dog to fend for itself and left me feeling like I couldn't blink or I couldn't put my son down for two seconds while the owner chatted and had a beer.