1st Trimester

So I posted about him wanting to move yesterday

And I'm thinking about it - I love how you all can calm me down!

BUT - I am wondering if any of you know... If I do move there with my children, and it doesn't work out, and I want to come home.... Could I? Legally, I mean...

I am wondering since I have a cousin in Boise that has a child with an ex - she wants to move to Portland, but cannot leave the state with her child permanently, even though she is the main custodian.  

I think I could do this, and give it my all with an open mind, as long as I knew that I would not get "stuck" there if it didn't work out with my SO (obveoulsy we are going through some hard times)

Anyone have any experiances with moving around with children from past relationships?

Re: So I posted about him wanting to move yesterday

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    Wow!! I never even thought about that when I looked at your post yesterday. I'd definitely talk to someone who would have solid answers (lawyer, etc) before committing to anything. I might be in the minority, but I would not be comfortable with the move if I was in your position. It would be really difficult for me to leave my whole family behind. I understand your fears. Definitely, even if everything seems perfectly rosy, consult a lawyer or other professional who can give you the answers you need to make an informed decision that makes you feel secure and comfortable.
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    Sorry, I can't help out with the legal stuff, but I think its great that you are approaching this with a more open mind. Good luck to your fam!
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    I think if you are concerned about the legality of going home with your kid, you shouldn't move. It is a pretty complicated thing. My cousin moved out of state and can't move back with her kids because of shared custody.

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    sesigssesigs member

    I'm sure it varies state to state so definitely check with someone familiar with the law in both states. From my experience, when I was younger, my parents had joint custody of me though my mother had me most of the time. We always lived in the same state but if my mother ever wanted to take me out of state or out of country for vacation she had to have a notarized letter from my father stating he approved of her taking me. I am a FTM so I don't have any direct experience myself but I know a lot of families where one parents lives out of state and the children visit summers and a couple of major holidays each year. 

    I'm sure it is something that you could make happen as long as the children's father agrees to all of the terms of custody. I hope everything works out. GL!  

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    legally he could stop you from moving back to your current state. 

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    Whoa - thanks everyone. That definetly puts me back on the "I don't wanna go!" side of the fence. I would love to try it out - but not if I end up getting stuck there and hating it!
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    You should definitely try and talk to a doctor who might know about it or a lawyer. My sister was allowed to leave New York with her and her husband's child but he signed away rights when they filed for separation.
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    I have a close friend whose sister has been stuck in Nevada for years.  Her husband insisted that they move there, she went along, they divorced a year later, and she's been trapped there for 12 years now.  Her family is on the east coast and she's pretty much alone.  

    I was actually surprised that this wasn't brought up in your original post; It was the first thing I thought of when I read your situation. There is no way I would agree to move in the situation with which you are faced.   



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