super long MIL vent just had to get it out....just wish me luck
amanda2424
member
I haven't yet filled you all in on my family drama because I was trying not to be all dramatic about it, but right now I am waiting on a phone call from my MIL whom I have not spoken to since my shower because she acts like she is in H.S. and my heart is beating out of my chest.
Backstory: We used to be extremely close because DH and I have been dating since I was 17, so in many ways she was like a mother to me and when DH and I first got together was when my mom and I started having some major personal issues which everyone seems to still hold against her even though I have forgiven and have been trying to build a better relationship with her over the last few years. Well DH and I have been together 10 years now, but the last five years with his mom have been going downhill because she is an alcoholic in denial. All of the family knows...*** even strangers who see us out know, but DH and FIL seem to think that its only the red wine that serves up the problem, "if she would just stick to vodka it would be all good"...Are you serious!? It upsets me how they think a sugar coated temporary solution would solve all the problems because they don't seem to be willing to give up their afternoon beers together. As soon as they pop a beer open she will start her wine and it drives me insane because they want her to change, but they can't change in order to help her or find a different hobby. (they live in a really small town, so all we ever do when we go there is go to the bar)
Because of this MIL and I's relationship has slowly gone down hill because once she starts drinking I cannot stand to be around her or even look at her. Her eyes instantly turn to a squint and she starts repeating *** over and over. Also, god forbid you disagree on something because she cannot be wrong. ITs like walking on constant eggshells when we go home. And the disagreement doesnt have to be about anything serious, you could disagree on which type of toilet paper is better and she will go over the top if you disagree....its painful to be around, especially now for me being completely sober and pregnangt. Before I could be just like DH and FIL and get my own buzz to overlook it all.
This got long but the drama is that she all of a sudden hates my mom now because she showed up late to my shower and owes her 50 dollars and sent my mom nasty text messages without even attempting to discuss the promblem with me at all. She has yet until today to contact me over this (her and DH have been going in circles about this, god bless him for standing up for me and my mom). The only thing I have heard from her until today was a nasty text that read something like. "I won't apologize how I feel about her mom, and to just let her know when we will be able to find time meet the baby whether that be the holidays or whatever". I was so hurt that she would even think that we would keep the baby from them. The day after that FIL called and talked me into callling her myself to try and "fix" this and I called three times and she wouldn't answer.
Well she is apparently calling me today, and I am so nervous about how this is going to go because I AM bringing up the alcohol situation because enough is enough and I truly miss my relationship with her (the sober her).
Re: super long MIL vent just had to get it out....just wish me luck
~~~ EDD for Baby #2 6/28/15~~~~
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
your exactly right which is why I am so nervous. She just started talking to her own mom again after 3 months of not talking because her mom tried to talk to her about her drinking. Thanks for the kind words ladies, its greatly appreciated.
I'm so sorry sweetie. That is the reason I broke it off with my ex-fiance'. He wouldn't put down the bottle and all he wanted to do was fight people and be loud and obnoxious and he turned his fists on me one night when I brought up alcoholism. It was a giant mess. Now, I guess you could say we're not exactly friends, but we can act cordial.
I really hope your MIL gets the help she needs. It's a long and difficult road. T&P's for you and your family!