Ugh - feeling awful about how that nap went down

vszapp

DD has always been pretty high needs - we would always rock or bounce to sleep and hold her for 20-30 minutes until she was in a deep sleep. Recently, though, we have been able to put her down in the PNP at night and she'll put herself to sleep (never had to CIO or anything, she just hangs out and then falls asleep). We hadn't tried that with naps, though, because she fights them like crazy even when we hold her. I'm sure our timing isn't always the best, either, so I have been hesitant to try to let her put herself to sleep. 

Lately it's just been so hard for me to hold her for naps - she has a heck of a time falling asleep and then wakes up after 5 minutes sometimes. So today I was once again having a terrible time, and I thought maybe it would be best just to start teaching her to go down for naps on her own (since she's crying in my arms anyway...). So I put her in the PNP, and she started crying (never does this at night). I decided I would do the baby whisperer deal and pick her up, sooth her, then put her down again, and repeat as necessary. Wellll, we did many iterations of that over about 20 minutes, each time with her crying harder and harder the second I put her down. Things were not moving the right direction, but I didn't want to give up (since I couldn't get her to sleep any other way anyhow). So I tried just walking away - and she stopped crying the SECOND that I left. And put herself to sleep.

I feel so terrible that I got her all stressed out beforehand and made it a horrible experience. I guess she just realized once I left that it was time to sleep and to chill out. That, and I'm sure she was exhausted. Now I don't know what to do next nap. I still feel like if I dump her down, kiss her, and walk away, she might get really upset. Does anyone else have this issue of LO crying while you're there and not when you walk away? I always thought it would be the other way around, but I guess I don't call the shots!

teachingmommy

We have this same thing happen. It's hard to believe that they are already this cognizant of surroundings at 4 months old. Good for you, though, if you found something that works!

lorahbora

This is absolutely how my DD is. If I pick her up and put her down, it's letting all hell break loose. She goes back and forth. If I lay her down and she looks at me with big eyes, I'll stay in the room and wait until she's sleepy, but if I lay her down and she immediately starts falling asleep or doing her go to sleep routine, I'll leave the room. Over time you'll start to get a feel for it. My DD will do these moany type "cries" that are just her settling down to sleep, and then of course you'll recognize the basic "I need Mom now" cries that I don't think should be ignored.

Another thing that drastically helped our naptime was to have a naptime routine, just like a bedtime routine. It's super short, I basically put her on my lap facing out in the rocking chair and rock with her holding her lovey and her pacifier, and after maybe 5 minutes max, I'll read her a really short story and then I put her straight down. The only times that she has a really hard time are if she's genuinely not tired, and then I just watch for sleepy signs and try again later. GL!! It's hard but I've seen the other side and it is good

F15Wife

At least you know now that she can put herself to sleep easily and you don't have to stress anymore.

FamiliaGreen

DD fusses and then goes right to sleep when I leave. I think she realizes that it's actually time to go down when mom leaves. It's great!

klmbbb

I'm definitely no expert, but I think some babies (like mine) become stimulated when picked up or when someone is still in the room with them (when they know you are there).  You just have to try different techniques, see how they react, and go with what works for you and the LO.  If some new technique I've read about and try makes LO cry more I nix that technique and try something else.