Dinner delima - any suggestions?

julieb00lie

I'm home with the kids by myself in the evenings.

The first thing we do when we get home is eat dinner.  DH cooks dinner during the day, so I just pull it out and warm it up.  I try to put 1-2 things on DD's plate that I think she will eat, but lately all she does is pick at it and ask for something else, like string cheese, an apple, yogurt, etc.  I tell her she can have something else after she eats her dinner.  So she eventually just says she's done and won't eat anymore.  I then reminder her that she is not getting any snacks later.

So I go bathe DS and sit DD in front of the tv for 20 min while I lay him down.  When I come out to give DD a bath, she says she's hungry.  So I pull out her dinner and tell her this is what she can eat.  She finally gives in a eats some.  But it takes her FOREVER.  She sits at the table while I clean the kitchen and just pokes at her food, eating very slowly.  You can tell she just doesn't want to eat what I'm serving, plus she occasional asks me for something else along the way.

I don't want her to go to bed hungry, but with her doing this it's causing her to not go to bed until almost 9:30, opposed to 8:30-8:45.

So, should I just tell her at dinner, "Look.  This is dinner time.  If you don't eat your dinner right now, you won't be eating anything later".  If she does eat her dinner well, I wouldn't be opposed to a snack before bed.  But if she doesn't eat her dinner, I don't think I should give her a snack later.  Otherwise, she will just hold out for this.

Any thoughts?

KateLouise

I wonder if she's not really hungry when you first present dinner to her? What time is her last snack before dinner? how much does she eat at that time?

My basic rule with DD1 is that she has to try everything on her plate, and I feed her what we eat.

Then there's nothing else to eat unless she's had a good go at her dinner. If she eats well she might have some fruit or yoghurt, or occasionally some ice-cream.

I'm also careful about not offering her milk at the start of her meal, but rather part way through or towards the end. Otherwise she'll fill up on milk if she's not relaly keen on dinner.

I don't have an issue with LO returning to eat her dinner later, but bedtime is bedtime. So if she's not eaten a lot and bedtime is coming up, I remind her that bedtime is coming up and ask her if she's hungry/wants more to eat.

She has woken once or twice at around 4am hungry, and we've given her a drink of milk. It sucked at the time, but she's gotten the message that dinner is dinner, and she hasn't woken up hungry for ages. 

dragon_chica

Ditto Kate.  I'm also all about bargaining.  So, if she wants that string cheese I tell her she has to take two more big bites of what's on her plate first.  That usually does the trick.  Also, keep in mind when plating her food is to put some things that are guaranteed to be eaten.

julieb00lie

KateLouise:

I wonder if she's not really hungry when you first present dinner to her? What time is her last snack before dinner? how much does she eat at that time?

Her last snack is about 2.5 hours before. I know she is hungry b/c she says so on the way home from DC, and she reminds me as I'm changing clothes before dinner.  She's definitely hungry.

TMDMJAOCT07

What if she was to have a small handful of goldfish or something similar on the way home? Just enough to get her picking out of the way?  Just a thought, 

 Dd usually picks at her dinner, and then when we're done that's when she'll start eating more. It seems like the initial picking for my dd is to get her appetite really going. 

saturdaynightdoubletree

DD went through this for a few weeks. Keep in mind at this age their growing has slowed down big time and they don't require as much. DD would eat a few bites at dinner, and then like you said eat more after her tub before bed. I pushed dinner off an extra half hour and that seemed to help. The kids do a lot better when all of us are sitting at the table vs. the kids sitting at the table while I'm cleaning dishes, etc. I've also occasionally resorted to putting food on her fork for her and handing it to her... sometimes by dinner she seems too tired to put the effort in to eat. We also meal plan together and when I remind her this is a dinner she wanted to have, she usually is a little more enthusiastic. GL!

92405bride

Yeah, my daughter totally picks at her food lately - she used to eat basically anything and just shovel it in. I definitely tell her frequently that this is it, but she's also never told me that she's hungry later and she hasn't ever woken up hungry. I know she usually eats a ton at daycare though so I just assume she's actually not hungry.

I'm not sure what I'd do - our bedtime is earlier (7:30) so maybe she just doesn't have time to realize she's hungry. I'd probably stop the late night offering of dinner or at least enforce a time limit (with frequent reminders - 3 minutes left, 1 minute left, etc). That would result in a meltdown at my house but maybe would get the message across that you can't sit there and stall bedtime to eat.

Good luck! 

3003girl

This is probably a really bad thing to do - but we sometimes give LO food in front of the TV. She will eat it while she watches something. I know it sounds terrible, but LO is a terrible eater, and there are some days where she will not have anything to eat at all and it gets to be after dinner and I don't want her to go to bed hungry. 

Also, you could try to read some of this ladies blog:

https://itsnotaboutnutrition.squarespace.com/home/2012/1/13/kid-eats-qa-should-you-serve-your-kids-exactly-what-you-eat.html

https://itsnotaboutnutrition.squarespace.com/home/2009/9/30/how-cottage-cheese-changed-my-life.html 

I really like it, but my LO is just 2 and I think some of the tactics are for older kids.  

MsNessa

julieb00lie:

So, should I just tell her at dinner, "Look.  This is dinner time.  If you don't eat your dinner right now, you won't be eating anything later". 

We tell DD this when she seems to be picking at her food or doesn't want to eat.  I do the same thing you do, try to serve one or two things that I know she likes.  Sometimes she won't even eat those.  We typically ask her to at least try everything and if she still isn't interested, that's it.

She gets cleaned up and gets down to play for a little bit before bedtime.  We never do snacks before bed, she gets to eat as much for dinner as she asks for and bedtime routine usually starts 30-45 minutes after dinner ends.

I figure sometimes she's just not that hungry.  I know not everyone is like this, but we are pretty against giving her an alternate meal.

karencrty

 I have been through this too.  We eat dinner at the table together and when L tries to skip out on dinner by saying he's not hungry I tell him how happy it makes my heart to help him with his food and this usually gets things started.  I have found if he wants to eat snack food then he is hungry.  And if I can stimulate his appetite by feeding him a few bites so be it.  There are no easy answers, just trial and error. Good luck and God bless.