should I have a baby shower here?

FutureMrsTowns

so, my family and a large portion of my friends are in Texas, but I live in California right now, and I have just a couple friends and DH has a couple friends here in CA.... I know my mom is going to throw me a baby shower back home,(even if I have to skype in) should I have a small baby shower here for the few friends I have here, should I wait till one of my friends asks about it? I know its early, but I'm a planner.

BarbourWales04

If one of your friends offers to throw one for you, then it's fine . It's generally considered bad form to plan your own shower.

Cranang

You've known about your pregnancy for 10 days now.  Yes, it's way too early.  And you can't throw your own shower.  So if no one in CA offers, then you don't have one.

Sherbet Lemon

You should not "have a shower" for your friends in CA. It's not doing anything "for them" to ask them to come to a shower and buy you gifts. Iv one of Thor friends OFFERS to throw a shower for you, on the other hand, it would be fine for you to accept that offer. 

EastCoastBride

Sherbet Lemon:

You should not "have a shower" for your friends in CA. It's not doing anything "for them" to ask them to come to a shower and buy you gifts. 

This!  You're not doing them a favor - "oh, come to my house and bring me a gift!".  If they throw you one, it's THEM doing you a favor....

morethancottoncandy

Regardless of whether or not you're "a planner," this is one of the things in life you really don't get to plan.  If someone offers to throw you a shower in CA, great, if not, then no.  You don't throw yourself a shower.

Why would you have to "skype in" to the shower your mom throws for you in Texas?  You've got plenty of time to plan for your travel there.  

EastCoastBride

morethancottoncandy:

Why would you have to "skype in" to the shower your mom throws for you in Texas?  You've got plenty of time to plan for your travel there.  

Oh, I missed that.  Yeah- you need to do everything you can in order to be there.  If there is a physical issue and at the last minute you end up on bedrest, that's one thing - but anyhthing outside of that - if you're asking these people to come to a party for you and bring you gifts, you need to do everything in your power to be there.

jnjmommy0609

If you are just wanting to celebrate the baby do a meet the baby party afterwards.

sesigs

If people do not offer you a shower you do not get to have a shower. I also agree with PPs, if your family in TX throws you a shower you need to do everything in your power to be there. Barring bed rest I would never Skype in to a shower. If you can't make it, turn it down. 

FutureMrsTowns

as far as Skyping in its about 1. money since we are only generally able to make the trip once a year(and that's where we were when we found out we were pregnant), and 2. DH is in military and can't always get leave

 

I know that other people are supposed to be the ones planning my shower, I was just asking because I like to know what to expect in the way of what other people expect to happen even if there are only a few people locally who would be able to make it. 

morethancottoncandy

FutureMrsTowns:

as far as Skyping in its about 1. money since we are only generally able to make the trip once a year(and that's where we were when we found out we were pregnant), and 2. DH is in military and can't always get leave

1) You've got time to plan for that.  Start saving for your ticket.   

2) Is there a reason why you can't go alone?

 

Jerem2911

Most normal people don't think about a shower at 4 weeks nor do they start planning their own shower. You have plenty of time to talk your friends into hosting your shower and if you can't make it to the TX shower in person, you should decline the offer from your mom. 

[Deleted User]

FutureMrsTowns:

as far as Skyping in its about 1. money since we are only generally able to make the trip once a year(and that's where we were when we found out we were pregnant), and 2. DH is in military and can't always get leave

 

I know that other people are supposed to be the ones planning my shower, I was just asking because I like to know what to expect in the way of what other people expect to happen even if there are only a few people locally who would be able to make it. 

1. If you can't afford to fly to TX, then I think the appropriate thing to do would be to politely decline a shower from your mom, since you won't even be there. Guests are taking time out of their lives to come and give you a gift. The least you could do is show up to the actual shower. 

2. Chill out. You don't need to worry about "what other people are expecting to happen." If your friends want to throw you a shower, they will come to you and offer, or they will throw you a surprise one. It's not really up to you to plan anything. 

rhubarb123

If a friend there in California offers to throw you a shower then fine.  Never ever host your own shower...it is very tacky and so against all etiquette (a shower, afterall, is a gift giving event).  If you want to host a dinner party or BBQ (as a last hurrah) then that is fine...just don't call it a shower.  Guests might or might not bring a gift.  I'm thinking most of your friends there will give something to baby once he/she is born.

daisy662

Either go to Texas to be at the shower or don't have one. If you are expecting to have people buy you gifts, the least you could do is show up. Plane tickets are not that expensive, you are really early on, start saving now. "Skyping in" is tacky and gift grabby. Your husband does not need to go with you - go by yourself. If someone offers to have a shower for you in California, then have one. If not, then obviously don't.

FutureMrsTowns

morethancottoncandy:

FutureMrsTowns:

as far as Skyping in its about 1. money since we are only generally able to make the trip once a year(and that's where we were when we found out we were pregnant), and 2. DH is in military and can't always get leave

1) You've got time to plan for that.  Start saving for your ticket.   

2) Is there a reason why you can't go alone?

 

 

1. yes, I realize that and we are trying to, but $700 round trip while expecting a huge financial investment is kinda steep

2. also, yes, there is, I have major anxiety while in airports and can't exactly take a pill for it being pregnant

3. if my mom did a shower, honestly, it would be more for her than for me, I will be getting gifts, sure, but most of them will most likely be hand-me-downs... I mean I want to be there, this is my first baby, and the only one I really think it's appropriate to even have a shower for, but *** happens, that's why Skype is the back-up plan, goodness....