Attachment Parenting
brideinsummer04
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Should we still co-sleep?
brideinsummer04
member
Hi everyone,
My LO is 5 1/2 months old. We have been using the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper as well as bringing him into bed with us. He wakes up to nurse on an average every two hours, usually when DH rolls around, snores, etc. Most of the time it's not bc he's hungry but just to help him fall back asleep bc without nursing he won't go back to sleep. I like co-sleeping but am wondering if it's making our LO not get enough sleep since DH's noises wake him. Also I don't know if having him nurse back to sleep is preventing him from learning how to soothe. What are your thoughts? Thanks!
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Re: Should we still co-sleep?
We have exclusively coslept and nursed LO to sleep and she can self soothe, so don't worry there
She still nurses sometimes to soothe at night, and I still put her down by nursing, but that's just what works for us. She definitely has the ability to self soothe.
As far as YH disturbing LO's sleep, I've definitely worried from time to time that being in bed with us wakes her more than if she were alone, but I know she's getting enough sleep. She wakes up happy and usually has a good temperament She's active and hits all her milestones. Also, she's down to 1-2 naps a day, so I generally feel comfortable she's well rested.
Nursing every two hours is very normal--either for hunger or emotional needs. So, I wouldn't say that is necessarily of concern.
Is your LO's temperament pleasant during the day? Are you able to cope with the night-wakings? If so, then this doesn't have to been seen as problematic. In our family's philosophy, night-waking is a very normal, healthy thing for a baby to do. See the sleep articles on kellymom.com for more info on reasonable expectations for infant sleep, sleep studies, and the non-linear nature of sleep duration for babies.
As for self-soothing, is that actually a goal for your family or something is an expectation of someone else (doctor, culture, grandma, etc.)? No snark intended in asking that. Some people think that self-soothing ASAP is really important. Some people take the mentality that a baby too young to really have any mobility and thus elect to move away from his parents to be alone actually has any sort of need to self-soothe. If you baby needs you to fall asleep or calm down, and that is ok with you, that is a perfectly valid, healthy choice. Independence will come with age and will increase (with both leaps and backsliding) with increased mobility. If young self-soothing IS a goal for your family, then work toward it. But, there is nothing wrong with letting nature take its course on this if that works for the overall balance and goals of your family.
More Green For Less Green
before i begin, let me point out that you are on the AP board, so of course everyone here is going to say cosleeping is good.
ive bgan cosleeping at around two months when i realized me and LO could both get a better nights sleep by doing so. we both really enjoy it as well and it also gives DH some more time wih him. we love cosleeping, and i would love to always do it. lately thouh, if LO will sleep good in his crib i will let him sleep there at night. i have been getting afraid that if i continue thos habit he will associate sleep with havin me next to him all the time. i want him to be more independent in a few months so ive been encouraging him to sleep in his crib! this is how our night goes: bath time- nurse him to sleep on my bed- about an hpur after hes sleeping ill pik him up, gently try dream feeding him,and put him down in his crib. he still wakes about every hour these days, which ive learned is totally normal at this point.
sorry for double post or any typos, im bumping from tablet...
i usually bring him to bed with us around 3 am, sometimes we will sleep the whole night togeher. it just depends.
if you want to cosleep, feel free to do it! im a FTM so i dont know if theres any consequences for it. but last night i googled infants sleep cycles and realized my baby is all normal and STTN happens very rarely. i read somthing on kellymom about the breastfed baby and his sleep patterns. definately made me feel better about his very frequent waking up at night.
dont rush yourself.
DS is 10.5 months and we still co-sleep and comfort nurse all night long. He does wake frequently and I nurse him back to sleep and he drifts off right away. I too have the same concerns as you, and my family support system is no help because they do not think I should still be co-sleeping.
I hang on to the fact that he is happy, very affectionate, social and physically/developmentally reaching all of his milestones. I must be doing something right, so I will continue what is working for us.
DS#1- Born August 2011
DS#1- Born August 2011
You've gotten really good responses already but just wanted to add my 2 cents:
We used the Arm's Reach co-sleeper & would bring baby into bed with us for the first feed then keep her there for the rest of the night for about the first 5 months. It worked really well in the beginning - we all got more sleep that way until about 3.5-4 months. She started waking more often and kicking me through out the night. I tried out the crib at around 5 months and she does sleep better in there. Of course, I also sleep better now that I'm not getting kicked & slapped all night long. I still get her & nurse her when she wakes, so there's no CIO or coerced "independence," we just get a little more space to sleep & roll around as we need to.
If your LO does better in the crib, there's no harm and it doesn't mean cosleeping wasn't worthwhile for the time it did work. Do what works for your family without any guilt.