statistics ? advice?

brideinsummer04

Hi everyone,  I hope you don't mind me visiting your board bc I'actually 33 but wanted your advice and if you know statistics. I just had my first baby five months ago and am trying to decide if I should ttc #2 beforeturning 35. With work if I havAe another baby before 35 I won't have much paid time off- maybe four weeks. Also it seems like a lot of work to have two under two, but if I wait until 35 does my fertility go down? I'm sorry if it's an ignorant question.

MarylandWed

I have heard 35 cited as a marker but I think it's individual. Would 36 be very different than 35? I have no idea. I would schedule an appointment with your GYN and see what they say. Good luck.

Mayzie15

I started TTC when I was 35 or so and I'm 36 almost 37 and I will tell you my RE notices the difference in my test results and the results are not as good as they were when I was 35 - as much work as two under two sounds - I know there is one thing you can never get back and that's time.  I don't think your question is ignorant but I think fertility is different for everyone.  I have struggled for two years but I have friends that are in there late 30s early 40's and they have not had any trouble conceiving - we have MFI so it's different for us.  Good luck with your decision. 

danieleandwayne

Hmm.... I wonder, would you be able to go to an RE and have them check out your egg supply? I mean, if they can look at your eggs and say "you have the eggs of a 27 year old!" I'd say wait. Of course, that testing would no doubt be completely OOP for you...

My other question (more grounded in reality, perhaps) is have you ever been on the BCP? My RE told me that being on the BCP actually helps women when they're older-- it kind of preserves the egg supply, in a simple way of putting it. That might help you make your decision a little more easily...?

I totally agree with pps, though. But you have to do what is right for you. When I was 35, I was just getting married and starting a 2 year nursing program-- a program that sucked my will to live on a daily basis for 2 whole years. I can't IMAGINE having done that pregnant and/or with a baby under 1. Some of the women who tried it, ended up having to repeat a semester or two-- or just plain failed out. And it couldn't have been healthy for the babies, either. So, while it took me much longer to get KU and I'm now constantly worried that I will not be able to carry this baby successfully out of the first trimester, I know that my path was the one I needed to take and I wouldn't have changed it. 

I hope that helps...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MauidAims

I had my son at 33. I then m/c the following year.  We put it on hold because we found out DH was deploying and then deployed for a year. So here we are 4 years later (after our son was born) and I have been told my FSH is too high and will likely not conceive naturally.  Both my son and m/c was natural and we tried for 4-6 months for each with no problems.  I will say when I hit around 35, I felt different. Just figured it was being a mom tired.  So last year when DH was deployed I had bloodtests to make sure that I was okay to start TTC when DH returned home.  It came out fine.  Fast forward 1 year and just did a clomid challenge test last month and got the news that we need assistance.  In 1 year everything changed!  Im 37 now.  I was shocked how fast everything changed.  If I could rewind, I wouldnt have DH deploy (lol) but I would have kept trying during the year we were waiting for him to deploy.  It would have been hard to have a newborn and toddler while he was deployed so we didnt.  Another sacrafice we made for our country! lol My advice is dont wait too long.  having said all of that, you need to be a good place emotionally, financially, physically for it to feel right. Everyone is different and everybody is different. Just wanted to share my story in case it helps.

KateLouise

I just wanted to butt in because I'll be joining this board next year.

I had our first at 32, and our second at 34. We went for that gap because it allowed me to take 12 months maternity leave (I had to work for 12 months first), but we didn't want to leave it longer because we would like more than 2 children.

So my question is do you only want one more child?

My comment is, yes two (ours are just on two years apart) is busy, but I don't think it's the kind of business you regret. 

Beyond that the statistics say that fertility drops after 35, and that you are also more at risk for health issues for the baby and yourself. But there is no way of knowing what your personal outcome may be.

Good luck with your decision. 

brideinsummer04

Thanks so much everyone. I really appreciate you sharing your experiences with me. If I do get pregnant again and if it's a girl I would probably stop at having two, but if I have another boy I may want to try to have a third. I'm leaning more toward getting a move on. Thanks for giving me some things to think about and talk to DH about!