TTC after 35

IF and inability to make plans

My inlaws have been talking about doing a big trip next summer and paying for all their kids and their families to come with them.  Which is great, but what if...?  They have been talking about it for months and yesterday, they decided on a cruise next July.  Of course, my IF mind does some quick calculations - if this cycle works, then my due date would be March and the kiddo would be only three months old during the trip.  I don't think kids are supposed to travel before six months due to the vaccination schedule.  Plus, this is my first child and the stress of travelling with a newborn - that does not sound like a lot of fun to me. 

When I bring up my concerns with my husband, he just says, we'll figure it out when it comes.  !!!  I keep trying to stress to him that there are times I won't be able to travel.  He doesn't want to tell his parents that we are trying (or have been trying), so I'm stuck.  I keep trying to side track the discussions and try to buy us more time, but everyone seems to want an answer right now and book things.  I'd rather wait until January to know what's going on or until after something happens.  I have brought up that we would probably need trip cancellation insurance since it is so far in advance.

I just looked up minimum age requirements on the cruise line and it's six months.  I feel better because there's a requirement in place so I don't look like the paranoid person. 

Ugh.  The trip will be amazing and very generous, but I don't need the stress of trying to figure out if I'll be able to go.  Damn you, IF.

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Re: IF and inability to make plans

  • Your DH has a point.  You can deal with it when the time comes.  Besides, the GP's will so thrilled in March and will totally understand if you have to cancel because Baby is so new.  Just get the cancellation insurance, it will be fine.  Good luck this cycle.


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  • Get the insurance & book it!  Life is too short to put family time on hold.  Trust me, they will understand if you have to back out because of a 3 month old.
    Me 39 & suspected PCOS, DH 42. Went off BCP when we got married in 11/11, seriously TTC since 3/12.  Six cycles of clomid = BFNs.  Suspected endometriosis & HSG showed both tubes blocked.  Sept 2013 IVF 5D transfer of two perfect embryos = BFN.  Started acupuncture and taking time off to drop some pounds & get healthier before FET in April 2014.
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  • I totally understand your anxiety about it, it's so frustrating to not have a clear idea of what the future holds. I'm dealing w/ the same summer planning issue's because of a potential IVF cycle.

    I agree w/ other posters, I'd go ahead and book it, get some travel insurance and everything will work out.

    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!
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  • I agree...get the trip insurance and book the trip. I'm sure your family will be understanding.

    I'm supposed to be MOH in my sister's out-of-town wedding next Feb. If I'm succesful this cycle, I could be just a few weeks shy of my due date for the ceremony.  So I totally get the stress IF adds to making plans.

    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

    DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI

    TTC#2 since Nov 2011

    BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p

    -Back to the RE-

    3 medicated IUIs, all BFN

    -Taking a break from treatment-

    BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13

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  • One thing I've learned from IF is that you have very little ability to plan anything fertility-related. Book the trip with insurance, and hope that you have to back out. This way you can have something to look forward to, just in case you are able to go.
    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

  • Thank you ladies for calming me down and being kind in the face of my crazypants episode.  It's nice to hear from people who get why I'm freaking out and can be rational.  Crisis averted and freak out abated.  Phew.
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  • I am with you!  the what if's have been what keeps me from doing certain things!  i really hope that this cycle works for you and am really glad that you found that it is required they be 6 mths old! :)
  • imagemtlaurel:
    One thing I've learned from IF is that you have very little ability to plan anything fertility-related. Book the trip with insurance, and hope that you have to back out. This way you can have something to look forward to, just in case you are able to go.



    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

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  • Im sorry!  I would suggest you book your trip BUT get trip insurance. Get the 'cancel for whatever reason' (thats what its called) insurance. That way you get back like 80% for whatever reason or you can also get a Drs note and get it covered 100%. We do this all the time because my son has health issues. 

    I use to get quotes. Just make sure you ask for the cancel for whatever reason insurance one. 

    DS- 4 years old, Natural m/c @ 7 weeks-12/1/09. Infertility issues- low ovarian reserve- low AMH and high FSH. Looking into adoption. Trying to figure out where to go with your little one? My favorite website is: Trekaroo AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
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