We met when I was 25. Dated several years. He needed to get his shiit together, frankly, with job, etc. before I would consider marrying him. Finally that happened and he dragged his feet on living together. Then he dragged his feet on getting engaged. Fortunately he didn't drag his feet on getting married and I believe he is happy with all these steps now that he has taken them. But then the economy tanked and he was not ready for a kid (worried about layoffs, etc). So now we are at 39 TTC #1 (he finally decided he was ready). This was despite me having repeated talks with him about fertility as a woman gets older and taking him to the OB to hear same.
My h is not a bad guy, but he sure likes to take his sweet old time. I just learned from insurance that they cover nothing related to fertility. We just don't have the money for $1,000s in fertility treatments and I'm not sure I want to go into debt for it (no judgements on people who do).
I'm so mad at h. My therapist says "well, you went along with it" and yes, I guess I did, but maybe I'm mad at h because I don't want to have the regret of maybe not waiting and moving on with someone else? Because frankly I wouldn't have chosen h if I knew it meant foregoing children. And if we do get pregnant, I'm bummed we'll likely only have one at this point so even in the best case scenario I am bitter. And yes, we can adopt and I'm open to that, but again the money...
Thanks for letting me vent :-) Comments with kindness appreciated (no flames, please. I just don't have the energy for it).