TTC after 35

I like this article -- (and a little venting commentary)

--from Psychology Today- "40 is the New 20 for Having Babies."

It does address other people's judgementality about older moms, esp if you're a first time mom pushing your upper 30's/40's. Not that I have ever let it deter me or affect me, I could give a crap what people think, it's my life- but- why do you think people are sooooooooo judgy concerning this? It baffles me?

Not everyone's life works out the way they plan or the way society thinks it should? If I did it according to the way my gma and society said I should, I would've married young to a real douche, probably been abused and stuck(based on my past dating history- I had a lot of hard life lessons to learn). Vs now, I have a wonderful home, a solid relationship w/DH and lots of life experience to offer a little one.

One thing I do get a little torked about is when I read/hear people say- it's so selfish, you aren't going to be around to blah, blah, blah. Who's to say someone won't die at 22 in a car accident after having a baby? (God forbid) And btw- I also read an article the other day that if you are in your 40's giving birth to your first, statistically, you'll probably live to be 100. I like to look at Maggie Griffin- she had Kathy around 40 and she's now 92. Suck on that haters! ;)

 

Re: I like this article -- (and a little venting commentary)

  • I totally agree with for whatever reason you waited, sometimes have a child later in life is by far the better decision for both mom and child. I can't think of a single reason for people to judge this decision, it makes no impact on others whatsoever. Unlike having children in your late teens/early 20's where you may not be financially settled, nor emotionally mature enough and others may have to step in to support. Not that I criticize that choice, just that I can see the impact that may give others room to talk more in that situation.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • That's so true! And here's another ditty (sp?) to further your argument (because I love it). H's parents were younger when they had H and my parents were older. My parents are healthy and in great shape! My inlaws have had all sorts of medical problems, include diabetes which in H's mom's case is preventable, and they are 15 years younger. So it's not when you have the baby it's how you take care of yourself in life. Who cares if you have a baby at 22 if you smoke and die at 50?
    Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
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  • One more way people are taking a woman's decision over her body and making it into something women have to answer to others for...
    *********************************************************************************************

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

    <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3a2798" style="font-size:smaller;" >
    <br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>

  • imagedanieleandwayne:
    One more way people are taking a woman's decision over her body and making it into something women have to answer to others for...

    Yep. I think the best response is no response- Keep Calm and Carry On! The numbers of (first time & anytime)mothers in their late 30's/40's is slowly rising. I say the numbers will speak for themselves in a few years and people will have to STFU. :)

    I have a theory that a lot of this malarky started after birth control came into the picture. When it first arrived, the median marriage age in this country was 19. And most women's (EDIT: only) aspiration was to have a family. So they would have however many they wanted and then cut it off when done. And that was usually in their 20's. So being done w/child bearing in your 20's became the norm.

    Up until BC, women had babies as long as their vagina would cooperate (Michelle Duggar, case in point). No one was raising a hairy eyebrow at my great grandma having her THIRTEENTH child at age 48 in the 1930's.

    Our society has evolved a lot since then in how we approach living, equality of the sexes, job structure etc. I wish our beliefs could evolve as well.

  • Granted, I would take a hairy eyebrow if it looked like this *sigh*

    r

  • Lovelyday39

    Thank you so much for sharing this article and your thoughts!  It is encouraging to read.  I agree wholeheartedly with you.  Trying to TTC #1 at 38 can get discouraging, but posts like this can be a real boost!

  • I have actually had people tell me to my face that I was selfish to wait so long to have children.  My response usually falls along the lines of "yeah, what was I thinking when I decided to get cancer when I was 30.  That was a bad choice but thanks for pointing it out."  I love to see the shocked look on their faces.  I am surprised that Psychology Today did not point out that these kinds of things happen.
    BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491 image BabyFruit Ticker
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