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Working Moms
New to the group- back to work (lOng)
Hi Everyone,My name is Marie and I had my bundle of joy on 4/11 - Landon. I am in a happy relationship with my soon to be husband (getting hitched on 7/21) but money is getting to be an issue.
It looks like lately money is the issue for our fights and more so since we are getting married and we have to pay everything in advance. Ive been having my fair share of failed working experiences since I realized that going back to work is the only way I will get out of this funk I am in. I feel ugly, fat, useless and broke. Plus, I hate asking for money. I got hired at one place and lasted a day... I quit because I see no future there, but it was literally a mile away from baby's day care. Then I got "hired" at this other place as an office manager but as I reported on my first day, they dare to tell me that I am on a working interview and those for them last for weeks on end... WTF?!?! so you have me as a trial interview and you pretend I am going to quit where I work and go to "try out" at your place for weeks on end? I honestly dont even know if i will get paid for those two days I worked. I am going to fight for that. Tomorrow I am calling and telling them it is not the right fit for me. They are way unorganized and they dared to tell me I had no "drive" because I did not pull all these reports that I am not even familiar with and because I was always following the trainer around... Really? wtf do you expect me to do when I was told she was going to be training me? plus it is a new computer system so FORGIVE ME for not pulled out reports that I was never told about. Then I found out that the girl i was supposed to be replacing, hasnt even been fired yet- and she doesnt even know she is gonna get the pink slip. Then, they called me for a final interview at this stay home job which I really really want... I called the lady back and she isnt calling me back to interview me, which makes me think they are really not serious. I have been sucessfully interviewing for them for two weeks already and I cant wait this long to get an answer. Lastly, I have my original job before I got preggo. They are being so lenient in waitng for me to go back to them. I finally told them I will start on Friday, but there is a lot of drama and it is on the other side of town.. about 30 minutes which will not allow me to visit my baby at lunch. IT has been really hard leaving my baby with my mother... I figured I have some sort of depression because I feel in such a funk and whenever I am away from my baby, I start balling out crying and simply I just do not give a _____ about my work.... I feel so weak and I used to be so strong and career minded. I really feel that I wont be ok working away from my baby which makes me want the stay at home job even more. Plus this depression is not getting better by being broke and fighting with SO about money. He thinks im taking advantage of him and his parents since they offered to pay for the wedding. Forgive me for having older parents that are having monetary issues, forgive me for not having savings because I spent it all on the baby's nursery. I really feel that he is growing distant and perhaps isnt in love with me anymore due to me being home and perhaps letting myself go.(I really do not have the energy or the want to get all prettied and skinny again-which makes me wonder more about this depression). I understand it is his money and it is hard to pay for things that we need... This is why I need to work.. When I used to everything was peachy keen. He had his money, I had mine and no prob. I just feel so sad of the thought of leaving the baby 8 hrs a day 4 days a week.. I dont know how I am going to do it.. I have even felt that I rather die than being away from him. I really feel I am depressed but I dont want to take medicine for it. I dont know what to do. I feel my life is in such a funk and it is a mess. I understand that maybe having the baby as a motivation will get me to feel better about leaving the baby to go to work, but it does not give me that motivation. I really have no motivation for anything these days. I just rather watch tv and cuddle with the baby all day. I am mess. I wish I got the stay at home job but I really feel that It wont pan out and I will really have to just succumb to working 30 minutes away. Did any of you go through this whole ordeal? Did you get diagnosed with depression ? How did you deal with it and how long did it take for you to be ok?
It looks like lately money is the issue for our fights and more so since we are getting married and we have to pay everything in advance. Ive been having my fair share of failed working experiences since I realized that going back to work is the only way I will get out of this funk I am in. I feel ugly, fat, useless and broke. Plus, I hate asking for money. I got hired at one place and lasted a day... I quit because I see no future there, but it was literally a mile away from baby's day care. Then I got "hired" at this other place as an office manager but as I reported on my first day, they dare to tell me that I am on a working interview and those for them last for weeks on end... WTF?!?! so you have me as a trial interview and you pretend I am going to quit where I work and go to "try out" at your place for weeks on end? I honestly dont even know if i will get paid for those two days I worked. I am going to fight for that. Tomorrow I am calling and telling them it is not the right fit for me. They are way unorganized and they dared to tell me I had no "drive" because I did not pull all these reports that I am not even familiar with and because I was always following the trainer around... Really? wtf do you expect me to do when I was told she was going to be training me? plus it is a new computer system so FORGIVE ME for not pulled out reports that I was never told about. Then I found out that the girl i was supposed to be replacing, hasnt even been fired yet- and she doesnt even know she is gonna get the pink slip. Then, they called me for a final interview at this stay home job which I really really want... I called the lady back and she isnt calling me back to interview me, which makes me think they are really not serious. I have been sucessfully interviewing for them for two weeks already and I cant wait this long to get an answer. Lastly, I have my original job before I got preggo. They are being so lenient in waitng for me to go back to them. I finally told them I will start on Friday, but there is a lot of drama and it is on the other side of town.. about 30 minutes which will not allow me to visit my baby at lunch. IT has been really hard leaving my baby with my mother... I figured I have some sort of depression because I feel in such a funk and whenever I am away from my baby, I start balling out crying and simply I just do not give a _____ about my work.... I feel so weak and I used to be so strong and career minded. I really feel that I wont be ok working away from my baby which makes me want the stay at home job even more. Plus this depression is not getting better by being broke and fighting with SO about money. He thinks im taking advantage of him and his parents since they offered to pay for the wedding. Forgive me for having older parents that are having monetary issues, forgive me for not having savings because I spent it all on the baby's nursery. I really feel that he is growing distant and perhaps isnt in love with me anymore due to me being home and perhaps letting myself go.(I really do not have the energy or the want to get all prettied and skinny again-which makes me wonder more about this depression). I understand it is his money and it is hard to pay for things that we need... This is why I need to work.. When I used to everything was peachy keen. He had his money, I had mine and no prob. I just feel so sad of the thought of leaving the baby 8 hrs a day 4 days a week.. I dont know how I am going to do it.. I have even felt that I rather die than being away from him. I really feel I am depressed but I dont want to take medicine for it. I dont know what to do. I feel my life is in such a funk and it is a mess. I understand that maybe having the baby as a motivation will get me to feel better about leaving the baby to go to work, but it does not give me that motivation. I really have no motivation for anything these days. I just rather watch tv and cuddle with the baby all day. I am mess. I wish I got the stay at home job but I really feel that It wont pan out and I will really have to just succumb to working 30 minutes away. Did any of you go through this whole ordeal? Did you get diagnosed with depression ? How did you deal with it and how long did it take for you to be ok?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: New to the group- back to work (lOng)
A couple of things:
When you WFH, you will be working and not caring for your baby. Childcare arrangements will need to be in place either at a facility, nanny or w/ family.
My suggestion with your next job is to get a formal offer letter before beginning employment. Review the company manual as well.
I would seek individual counseling for your depression (or PPD) and pre-marital counseling prior to your nuptials. Once married, there is no his/hers it becomes ours.
GL!