TTC after 35

IUI #5 = Paranoia

Hello. I rarely post, but I'm always lurking and following everyone. I truly wish the best for all of you, and I get genuinely excited when y'all have good news. And I hate the disappointments right along with all of you. 

I had my fifth IUI today. 1-4 were all BFN -- unexplained. I did Menopur injects and Ovidrel. After the IUI today, the RE was giving me the usual instructions for the next two weeks. Come back next Wednesday for bloodwork to check progesterone to determine if I ovulated. And, start Endometrin suppositories this Friday. He said "Continue that until you get your period ..." Then he left the room. 

 What? How does he know I'll get my period? Does he know there is no way that I'll get the other result -- a BFP? The paranoia set in. He is evil. Nothing is what it seems. He hasn't really been doing IUIs with intent to knock me up. It's his plan to get women to spend thousands on fake IUIs, which will all fail. These desperate women will then fork over more thousands for IVF. Which all pays for his car with a license plate that reads " BABYMKR." (I'm not making that part  up.) 

 I actually dug through the trash before I left to inspect the vial. Did it really have sperm in it? Yep, I'm a little crazy.  

Do any of you get these thoughts? Note: I do like my RE. 

 

 

Re: IUI #5 = Paranoia

  • I do think you're being a bit paranoid.  =)

    I actually had the opposite problem with my RE- he was too optimistic.  I'm 42 with a crap AMH.  I'd always test with a FRER the day before my beta (I had 4 IUI's) and he refused to believe it was indeed a BFN until he saw the beta results. I had two follices with my last IUI, and the nurse was talking about the possibility of twins.  Yeah, right.

    I think what is just normal discussion for employees in an RE's office can be overanalyzed by those of us with IF.

    image
    DOR and AMA
    2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
    7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
    Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
    Follow up testing in September all clear;
    Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
    FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
    12/12- Officially an OB patient!
    Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
    Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
    Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
    Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
    Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
    FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
    DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
    FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN

    Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)

    Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids

    Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN

    Likely OAD- NBC

  • You would think by now that these professionals would get the mentality of women going through this craptastic journey.

    Yeah, you're being paranoid, but the doc isn't exactly making a point to instill you with any hope. 

     

    *********************************************************************************************

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

    <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3a2798" style="font-size:smaller;" >
    <br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>

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  • You are being paranoid, however I won't say I haven't had those doubts creep in. I had dinner tonite with my best friend, and she (almost a yr older than me and hasn't even started thinking about ttc) is convinced my RE is all out to make money off me by pushing IVF. She almost had me second guessing tonite, but she hasn't been through the journey I have in the last year so you gotta go with your gut. I think your dr. just spoke without thinking...which as a human being is bound to happen occasionally..
    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • He probably forgot to finish the sentence so it was supposed to be "until you get your period OR a BFP." So sorry though! That would creep me out too.
    Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
  • I just have to comment on the license plate...what a total doosh! LOL

    Sounds like you need to find a new RE, one who you feel comfortable with and who makes your TTC journey a priority.

    Wishing you luck that the paranoia stays away and that #5 is your lucky cycle!

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  • The license plate is TOO much! (My H and I went to a regional IF conference, and saw a few similar license plates, the only one I remember is "I-ICSI." I deemed that acceptable since most of the general population wouldn't get it.)

    But, I digress. Sorry, he said that to you, I'm sure it was just a stupid mistake on his part. Try to relax and know you're in good company here.

    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
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