TTC after 35

Crappy embryos

Thanks for the shout out earlier. I greatly appreciate everyone rooting for me, especially the "graduates" who have already had their babies and still come back to check on me.
Unfortunately, my embryos are just bad. One has essentially arrested as it did not grow from the 5 cells it was at yesterday. It also had a "D" grading which is the worst ( extremely fragmented). That is prob why it hasn't grown since yesterday.
My other two embryos were another 5 cell "d" and a 4 cell "C". I have no hope they will implant and result in a healthy baby. It actually is a little easier to walk away after seeing this result again. It just isn't in the cards for me I guess.

TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

imageimage

SAIF/PAIF Welcome


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Re: Crappy embryos

  • I am so sorry.  Hugs to you.
    BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491 image BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am so sorry that this happened, big ((hugs)) to you....
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  • Enormous hugs for you today.
    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
  • So so sorry to hear that.
    Me 39 & suspected PCOS, DH 42. Went off BCP when we got married in 11/11, seriously TTC since 3/12.  Six cycles of clomid = BFNs.  Suspected endometriosis & HSG showed both tubes blocked.  Sept 2013 IVF 5D transfer of two perfect embryos = BFN.  Started acupuncture and taking time off to drop some pounds & get healthier before FET in April 2014.
  • This is so not fair. I'm so sorry.
  • I'm so sorry McIrish, it's so not fair.  Lots of hugs to you.

    Me:40 AMA, DH:36 0% morph, TTC#1;
    BFP#1 4/2011, MMC 6/2011 11wks Trisomy 13;
    BFP#2 11/2011, CP
    FSH: 17.9, AMH: 2.2
    IVF#1 w/ICSI: ER 4/3: 5R,4M,4F
    ET 4/6 All 4 (1-8A+, 2-8A-, 1-3A) BFP#3
    Two weeks of beta hell = Blighted Ovum
    IVF#2 Aug/Sept: ER 8/27: 4R,3M,3F
    ET 8/30 (1-8A+, 1-6A+)
    Beta#1 9/10: 350; Beta#2 9/12: 796; Beta#3 9/20: 9155
    Expecting Boy/Girl Twins! My babies were born 4/23/13 at 36w1d!

     
     

  • I am crushed to hear this news.   I am so very sorry.  I will never understannd why life is so cruel sometimes.  My continued thoughts to you and prayers that your remaining two embryos are miracles.   I am truly sorry, mcirish.
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  • I am so sorry. Not at all what I had hoped for you. Wish I could say something wise and all knowing....but I have nothing except a heartfelt apology that this is happening to you.
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  • ****TICKER WARNING****

     

     

    Oh, McIrish, I'm so sorry to hear this. It probably doesn't help, given my ticker, for me to say that I know how this feels, but I really do -- our failed IVF cycle with 4- and 5-cell embryos nearly broke my heart. Kudos to you for trying so long and hard to make this work; you are much stronger than I could have been, to give it so many shots. I still hope that your DH will come around on the DE (or maybe adoption?) front. You want -- and deserve -- a baby so badly that it kills me to think of you not having one.  Big hugs to you. 

    me - 41 (dx: DOR); DH - 53 (no problems); 7/18/09 - married!; 8/4/09 - BFP on first (real)try; 9/14/09 - missed m/c; 9/15/09 - d&c; 11/09 - 3/10 - 4 natural cycles = BFN; 4/10 - dx hyperthyroidism caused by Graves' disease; 6/10 - thyroidectomy; 7/10 - 12/10 - 1 natural and 5 medicated IUI cycles = BFN; 1/11 - new RE; dx low ovarian reserve (AMH .42; 1/26/11 -- BFP (ectopic) from IUI #6; methotrexate 2/10/11; 6/2/11 - IVF #1 = BFN; 9/12/11 - prescreening for DE; 9/15/11 - IUI #7 (unmedicated)= BFN; 11/8 - begin DE cycle (shared risk program); 12/5 - ER (5 eggs/4 mature/3 fertilized/2 left by day 5) 12/10 - ET of one 1BB blast (expanded, "fair" quality), none to freeze; 12/22 - totally shocked by +hpt; beta #1 = 413; #2 = 3952 2/14 - CVS reveals a healthy baby girl! EDD: 8/27/12 DD born 8/31/12, 10 lbs 10 oz and perfect in every way. 
  • == siggy warning ==

     

    Well, this is just not the post I was hoping for.  I am so sorry McIrish.  This just reminds me that the world is far from fair.  My heart breaks for you.  ((HUGE HUGS)) and T&P for you as you process this latest outcome.  I just don't know what else to say.  I am so saddened for you, it's just not fn fair.

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  • I'm so sorry, Irish.
    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

    DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI



    TTC#2 since Nov 2011

    BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p

    -Back to the RE-

    3 medicated IUIs, all BFN

    -Taking a break from treatment-

    BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13

    image image

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    My Chart
  • I am not ready to give up on those embies. Sometimes the crappy ones make it.  I know it's probably easier for you to not be hopeful at this point, but I'm not willing to call it just yet, so I am going to continue hoping that one of those little guys is stubborn and decides to stick around and prove you wrong. Whatever the outcome, I'm sending continued love and prayers your way.  ((hugs))


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  • Oh, McIrish, I am so, so sorry to hear this news.  Words fail me, but if I could I would give you the biggest hug there is.
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  • Just thinking of you... I hope you are able to get some rest and take good care of yourself.
    ttc since 2/2010 ~
    me (36): Hypothyroid (on Levothroid), low vit. d, borderline/high fsh (day 3: between 7-10) (day 10: 13 during CCCT), AFC: 14
    dh (31): awesome (minus one sample with agglutination)
    Diagnosis:possible DOR and/or unexplained + elevated NK cells + MTHFR (C677T - one copy)

    MAY 2011 - FEB 2012 - 3 injectable IUI's with numerous cancellations due to high TSH levels
    MAY 2012 - onto IVF/ICSI (Antagonist Protocol) on BCP and Folgard (3 week delay - cyst - boooo) 5/21 start stims 5/30 ER 11R 8M 3F 6/2 3DT of 3 6/12 Beta #1 83 | 6/14 Beta #2 196 | 6/21 Beta #3 3818 | 6/28 Beta #4 22,213 | 7/2 1st U/S - 2 on board! 8/24 CVS reveals that we have a boy AND a girl on board!

    Healthy baby boy and girl born in February, 2013 at 38 weeks and 2 days!


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  • ***SIGGY WARNING***

     

     

     

    Oh, Irish I am so sorry.  

  • $#*%&@* F N A.

    I am so sorry-- I was hoping we could celebrate together today. 

    I hope you take the rest of the day to pamper yourself and then you can worry about the future tomorrow...

    I wish I could be there to hug you in person.

    *********************************************************************************************

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

    <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3a2798" style="font-size:smaller;" >
    <br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>

  • Oh McIrish, I truly believed you were going to have better news.

    My T&Ps are with you that those little guys have a strong come back. 

    In the meantime, take care of yourself and stay strong. 

    P

    ____________________________

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    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers  Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Breast Cancer diagnosis 12/01/2010 - Survivor and Cancer free as of 03/22/2011
    BFP#1 04/12/201
    1 - fetal demise - MC 05/28/2011
    BFP#2 10/14/2011 - fetal demise - MC 12/13/2011
    BFP#3 05/30/2012 - fetal demise - MC 07/23/2012
    IVF#1 02/14/2013 - 2 Beautiful Blasts transferred
    BFP#4 02/25/2013 - BFP - MC and ectopic 03/06/2013

    IFV#2 07/02/2013 -BFP#5 - 07/07/2013
    1st Beta 07/11/2013 - 483 (9dp5dt) - 2nd Beta 07/13/2013 1006 (11dp5dt)
    1st U/S 07/31/2013 - TWINS! "The Minions"
    IVF#3 BFP#6 09/01/2015 6dp5dt
    1st Beta 09/05/2015 - 105 - 2nd Beta 09/08/2015 335
    1st U/S 09/22/2015 - .......

  • i am sure you are tired of hearing i am sorry but i really am. i hope that you some sort of good news soon
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  • I am so so so sorry to hear this.  I was really rooting for you.
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  • I am so very sorry..
    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
  • Very sorry, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you!
    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!
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  • I'm sorry just doesn't seem to cover it.  ((big hugs)) 

     


    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

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  • imageindyrowergirl:
    imageMaybe Joleisa:

    I'm sorry just doesn't seem to cover it.  ((big hugs)) 

     

    This. :(

    In triplicate. :-( Wish I knew what to do!

    "Don't look back, you can never look back." - Don Henley
  • Oh no. I'm still praying for your other embies. Not fair that we have to "pay" for a baby that we want so badly. I am so sorry.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



  • emikatemikat member
    I'm sorry McIrish.  I hope that peace comes your way however the outcome of all of this.  IF is certainly unfair and so difficult to bear.  Big, big hugs. 
    image




    TTC 10/11. IUI 2/12. BFP 3/8/12. 4/26/12 missed mc. RE consult 5/17/12. IVF #1 ER 7/13/12 53R, 41M ICSIed, 32F, 8 5d, 6 6d blasts - all PGD/frozen. PGD results 1 normal M and 1 normal F, 1 maybe M. FET 9/6, transferred 1 F embie. Beta 9/15 BFN. FET#2 planned for 11/2012 put off until 2013. Surprise BFP 11/21/12!! My son was born on 7/24/13!

    FET 4/28/2015 - Transferred 1 M embie. 5/6/15 BFP!

  • I am so terribly sorry McIrish.  I wish I had better words of comfort than just saying "sorry".  I will continue to hope and pray that you get your miracle, and like some of the other pp, will refuse to give up on the embies just yet.  Sending all the hugs I can to you.
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  • McIrish, I am so sorry to hear this.  I wish I had the right words to say.  I am thinking of you during this tough time.
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  • So very sorry to hear this. I wish I had the right words to say. Sadly sorry just does not seem like enough.
    TTC #1 since 2/10 Me 38 FSH 12.9 & AMH 0.16 DH 47, low sperm count due to meds. 07/11 We have sperm! 28 million, 70% motility, morphology 1% normal. 08/14/11 1st IUI unmedicated BFN. 09/11/11 2nd IUI w/ Femara + trigger BFN 10/14/11 trigger & Final IUI 10/16/11 BFN 10/21/11 Started acupuncture and loving it! 01/21 ET one embryo 6 cell grade C. Beta 02/02. BFN. Taking a much needed break. image
  • SIG WARNING

     Oh, McIrish.  I'm so sorry. You are and always have been such an inspiration to me with how you've handled everything that you've been through and still supported all those on this board, me included.  I know I couldn't have handled all that as well as you have.  I will continue to keep you in my prayers and pray for your miracle to happen one way or another. 

    image
  • I'm so sorry this happened.  As the other ladies have said I'm going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers and really pray that one embie holds out and makes believers out of all of us.  You were so kind to me after I posted about my two day transfer from hell and although I don't have much hope for my situation - you gave me a little piece of hope to hang on to and I'm hoping I can do the same for you - don't give up you are resilient and you have cheered us all on and we are doing the same for you... 

    Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

    IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


     "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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  • I'm so sorry to hear this.

    big hugs 


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  • T&P to you

    image
    DOR and AMA
    2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
    7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
    Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
    Follow up testing in September all clear;
    Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
    FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
    12/12- Officially an OB patient!
    Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
    Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
    Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
    Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
    Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
    FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
    DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
    FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN

    Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)

    Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids

    Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN

    Likely OAD- NBC

  • jb2rnjb2rn member
    Siggy/ticker As Joi said - a big ole Fluck. I have been thinking about you a lot and am sorry this is the news you got :( Hugs and a bottle of wine.
    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
    DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

    image

  • Don't lose hope yet, get them in you and see- a c isn't bad at all! GL
  • Ugh~ I am speechless and utterly saddened to read your post. I just came home from the RE and each time it gets harder and harder.

    I wish you peace and good thoughts McIrish, you are always so supportive and have been a true help to me over these last few years.

    If my DH and I have our donor egg fantasy become a reality and we have frosties to keep, you are welcome to have one. I mean that. I would rather they go to a loving home than to science. 

    HUGS!!! 

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