Mom vent

cmiller0623

so DF's aunt is throwing my shower for me because she is very creative, has the time to plan it, and just in general throws great get-togethers.  my mom was ok with that because she doesnt have as much time to put it all together and in the begining said she was alright with DF's aunt (we'll call her R) planning different "duties" then dividing them up among my mom, sister, etc.

R asked my mom to be in charge of the cake. no big deal, my mom was excited to be included and it was something she could easily handle.  today she gets all emotional on me saying things like how stressed she is, and she doesnt know what all she can afford at the shower as far as gifts and what not and shes worried about the cake (the lady she asked to do it may have to drop it off at her house the friday/saturday before the shower on sunday which is not the end of the world and would more than likely be saturday) and she keeps going on and on about how stressful it is, and how shes worried about getting there ( she doesnt have a car i told her id pick her up and take her home so she can be there) and in general is just stressing me out.

i want my mom to be at the shower and for it to be a fun day for everyone but i feel shes thinking more about how stressful it is for her rather than it being a fun celebration for me.  ive tried to reassure her many many times it doesnt matter if she can get DD gifts, i dont care about that.  she has already done a lot for DD and i know she does what she can and material things are not important. its just stressing me out to no end today and i just need a vent

thanks for listening!

CaliVal

I realize you are only venting but rather than getting upset at your mom, I think you might want to focus more on the fact that she is stressing because she wants your day to be perfect. Unless she asks for your help with anything (not that she should), l'd just listen to her complain. The day of your shower will be fine and your mom will be at ease (if she is a normal person) once she gets the cake details sorted out. Until then, try not to stress. Good luck and I hope you feel better.

cmiller0623

thanks CaliVal im trying not to stress she just says things like why didnt you include me more and asking me a million questions about the rest of the shower and i told her R was planning it and i had no idea what was going on.  it is frustrating and some other things are going on i think this is just adding to my aggitation but thank you very much for listening

StaceySMC13

I guess I am pretty sour to my mom's behavior sometimes - and I can totally see her doing something like this.  Maybe not stressing out but turning the whole thing around to be about her.  Can you just have her not get the cake at this point?  Tell your aunt that your mom just doesn't have the time/money to take care of it right now?   

rhubarb123

It sounds like your mom is making it "all about her" for whatever reason.  All she has to get is the cake and she can't do that without stressing but is butt-hurt because she isn't asked to do more?  What's up with that?  It is good that you tell her that R is planning it and you don't know anything about it.  Why is she asking YOU and not your sister?  Maybe your sister can handle the cake if your mom is unable to.  I would distance yourself from all shower related things...including the cake.  Have your sister help your mom out if that is possible. 

I would be venting too.