Single Parents

What did you/would you do?

My long-time boyfriend broke things off two weeks ago, and I initially asked him if he wanted to continue going to my doctor's appointments (currently 23 weeks pregnant), to which he said, "Yes." Okay, well actually, he said he'd have to talk to his new girlfriend about it first (yeah....), and then he retracted that statement and said he would come. I've been thinking about it, and I'm not sure if I can handle him being there. I really want him to be there for me and especially for the baby, but at the same time, I think it will just remind me of how much I miss him, and how he broke my heart. Not to mention, if he doesn't show up, the anger and hurt I will feel will be unbearable. I'm already so heartbroken from him leaving me, I don't really want to add to the pain. I want to do what's best for my baby, and I know that I do have to learn to compromise with the baby's father, but I just don't know what the best thing is in this situation. I don't really want to go back on "inviting" him to the appointments. Anyone else have a similar situation?
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Re: What did you/would you do?

  • That's almost exactly what I went through with the exception that my XBF wasn't dating anyone else (that I know of). He did however decline to go to my appointments because "they were boring".

    For me, it was just easier to go alone because that is how it will be when LO gets here. Just me. Yes that thought was extremely painful, but it was reality. I don't have family anywhere near me, otherwise I would have invited someone that DID support me to go with. I'm also an only child so I really had no one. 

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  • I shut mine out of my life and gave him updates. My body, my pregnancy. He could EAD for all I cared. Ahem, I'm angry today, it seems.
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  • I guess I also I feel like he should be held accountable still, since he knowingly left me to figure out and do everything on my own. I think a big part of him leaving was leaving behind the responsibility, and I don't want him to get off that easily. But, maybe I should just cut my losses.
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  • So glad I haven't been blessed by my STBXH wanting to come to my appointments. He came to my first one and texted his then girlfriend the entire time. He even requested ultrasound pictures for her to see. I about came off the table to strangle him. Since then he hasn't even bothered being involved.

    From a legal stand point, if hes claiming the baby and helping you with expenses then he could be entitled to be there for appointments as well as the birth. However, if he isn't then you don't need to invite him to come. I would take some time and think about whats best for the situation. Is it overly stressful for you (which means stress on the baby) if so, then I wouldn't have him come along. You have the right to be as least stressed during your pregnancy as you possibly can be. Just send him a text after the appointment to update him on things, and unless he throws a fit about going then that might be the easiest way to go about this.

    imageimage Visit The Nest! BabyFetus Ticker :.:.Dear baby boy, No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.:.:
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