S/O 16 yo babysitter

purplecrayon

Would you leave your 2 yo alone with your 16 yo old relative that is your regular babysitter for the weekend if her mom was able to stop in & check on them (possibly even stay overnight) & a neighbor with a child close in age was available during the day in case of emergency?

We were considering this as a "plan B" if SO's brother ends up unable to watch DS.  He has already agreed to watch him but I'm worried it will fall through.  He's great with DS but he (SO's entire family, for that matter) has a history of saying yes but then declining at the last minute.

kllrbnny

Are you asking if leaving a toddler with a 16 yr old overnight is advisable?

Cause no.

penguingrrl

No, but mostly because I don't believe in leaving teens overnight without an adult present. I wasn't allowed to stay home overnight until I had gone away to college then come home, neither was DH. In fact, I don't know anyone who was allowed to stay alone overnight until college.

seahorse102410

I would not do this but the main thing is that I wouldn't feel comfortable with a 16 year old alone in the house (with baby) overnight.  If her mom really wanted to come over and help maybe.

SGC29

No

adoubleu12

I don't even like to leave them with my husband over night.

ASmallWonder

twatley:

Overnight? Is this a real question?

Yeah, this.

Manateearmz

When I was 16 I starting watching a family friends infant. I did this until the oldest was 3 and their youngest was about 1. A few times overnight. You're the parent you know the 16 year old, and their maturity level. Do what you feel comfortable with. 

J&A2008

We're all making an issue over the fact that the babysitter is 16, but honestly, there are 15 year olds I could entrust to watch my children, follow safety guidelines, and respond maturely to criticism.  Likewise, there are 40 year olds I would not trust with my children nor expect to respond maturely to any confrontation.

It really boils down to the person, their maturity, and how well you know them.  If you have known them for awhile, trust them, and you are comfortable, I think it could work.

purplecrayon

MandJS:

No. I would consider letting the 16 year old babysitter in your situation watch my child at her house with her parents present OR at my house if one of her parents stayed with her, too.

This was my thought as well but SO didn't think it was necessary for her parent (my sister) to stay the night.  I just don't feel comfortable with them being alone overnight.  Having her watch DS at their house in unfeasible.

I'm hoping our real plan B will be a grandma/grandpa but we haven't asked them yet.

 

hmp1

I doubt I will leave my 16 year kids by themselves for the weekend so I would not let one watch my LO. I use a 16 year old as a back up babysitter but only for a few hours.

missymo

Manateearmz:

When I was 16 I starting watching a family friends infant. I did this until the oldest was 3 and their youngest was about 1. A few times overnight. You're the parent you know the 16 year old, and their maturity level. Do what you feel comfortable with. 

This.   

starrkitten89

Nope.

+SMACE+

it would depend on the 16 y/o. I was 15 when I started doing over night sitting. there was never any issues.I was also lifeguard trained, infant/toddler CPR and first aid trained  and took a yearly sitter refresher course. 

I honestly was awesome. once at 15/16 years old, we were at the public pool and I saved a kid from drowning. her dad had his back turned and she quietly slipped under the water. age isnt always an eliminating factor.  it should be on a person by person basis. 

purplecrayon

Manateearmz:

When I was 16 I starting watching a family friends infant. I did this until the oldest was 3 and their youngest was about 1. A few times overnight. You're the parent you know the 16 year old, and their maturity level. Do what you feel comfortable with. 

She is my niece & has watched him overnight multiple times.  We've left after we put DS down & have come home the next morning.  They've been fine.  He loves her, she's great with him & even tells us we need to get out more so she can babysit.

All weekend is different though.  If it comes down to it, I'd be sure my sister would be able to stay there as well.

[Deleted User]

purplecrayon:

Manateearmz:

When I was 16 I starting watching a family friends infant. I did this until the oldest was 3 and their youngest was about 1. A few times overnight. You're the parent you know the 16 year old, and their maturity level. Do what you feel comfortable with. 

She is my niece & has watched him overnight multiple times.  We've left after we put DS down & have come home the next morning.  They've been fine.  He loves her, she's great with him & even tells us we need to get out more so she can babysit.

All weekend is different though.  If it comes down to it, I'd be sure my sister would be able to stay there as well.

OK, so presuming that your kid slept the entire time.  What happens if things don't go perfectly?  Like he wakes up multiple times crying or something?  I'd feel more comfortable planning for a less than favorable evening (although not worst-case scenario).  I think you DH is short-sighted & naive. 

Ultimately, it's your call.  No way in hell I would do it though without at least a parent there. 

LaCally4

All weekend would be tough. We have a 17 y/o babysitter I would trust for an overnight if we ever needed it in a pinch but she lives on our street so her parents could be at our house in a minute if there was an emergency. I would probably feel better if the parent could stay overnight, as well, if that's possible in your case. 

rebs

I agree it depends on the teenager- some are really reliable.

But why doesn't your kid just go stay with your sister? Tell the 16 year old she is in charge but have her at your sisters house.  Seems like the best solution to me unless I am really missing something.

Aloe0l

No.  I'd see if the 2yo could stay at the relative's house first. 

purplecrayon

rebs:

I agree it depends on the teenager- some are really reliable.

But why doesn't your kid just go stay with your sister? Tell the 16 year old she is in charge but have her at your sisters house.  Seems like the best solution to me unless I am really missing something.

My sister is a single mom & works weekends 11-8pm so my niece would be alone with DS for most of the day anyway.  Not to mention their house is in a fairly rough neighborhood & I love her but my sister's housekeeping abilities are sub-standard, to say the least.  Even when we were kids her room was a nightmare.  Put it this way.  We don't visit her...ever.  She visits us.

RayRay007

missymo:

Manateearmz:

When I was 16 I starting watching a family friends infant. I did this until the oldest was 3 and their youngest was about 1. A few times overnight. You're the parent you know the 16 year old, and their maturity level. Do what you feel comfortable with. 

This.   

ITA. I don't automatically think it's a bad idea. Especially if there is an adult available to the girl.

grr_aargh

I'd do it, but it would never happen again once the 16 year old found out what a butthole my kid was at night. 

 

So I'd have to do it very strategically and wisely. I'd also sell my kid to gypsies for a beer by 6pm most days.  

JenniCollins

Yup, if I trust the 16 year old to babysit my LO then I trust them enough to watch her overnight.  I would just make sure they knew where the medicine was/how much to give/when you feel it's necessary to give it.

Overnight is really no different than during the day in my opinion.  I could feel this way because I did a weekend babysitting (two nights) when I was 16.

JoJoMama730

twatley:

Overnight? Is this a real question?

This

shortstuff15

penguingrrl:

No, but mostly because I don't believe in leaving teens overnight without an adult present. I wasn't allowed to stay home overnight until I had gone away to college then come home, neither was DH. In fact, I don't know anyone who was allowed to stay alone overnight until college.

You never stayed home alone until you were in college?  Really?  My parents left me and my brother for a week for their 25th wedding anniversary trip when I was 17 and he was 13.