Single Parents

Okay so let's talking about dating..

I feel like this might be a little long....

 So DS's father and I dated like 2 or 3 months. I wasn't super into it, as in I wasn't like in love with him, he obviously wasn't really for me, but I was just having fun so whatever (I was in college...). And lookie there, 4 positive pregnancy tests! I found out a couple weeks after we broke up. He was like "get an A, I want nothing to do with this, blah blah blah". Well a couple months later he was like "okay I'm sorry I want to be a part of his life because my dad wasn't in mine" so I gave him a chance. We weren't going to be together but we were hanging out and he was around...not sure what I was thinking there. Fast track to about 2 months later, I move out of my apartment to live with some family friends and we literally don't speak for like 5 months, which is fine because he was being an ass and drinking a lot and didn't have a job so I was like, later loser. Then here he comes again a little while before Jude was born "I'm sorry for everything please let me be in his life I've changed blah blah". I have a pretty big heart and try to be easy going, so I was just like okay I don't want any drama, I mean he IS Jude's father so I'll give it another chance. And he seemed like he cared and was trying. (Oh, we live in different states). He and his family met and spent time with Jude and I when we went there to visit. But OBVIOUSLY it wasn't like we were ever going to be together, we were just cordial and talked about Jude a lot. And that was how it was for a few months.. now he hasn't really called to see how Jude is or talked to us for like a month. And I'm totally fine with that, I'm not gonna beg him to come around or care about his son. If he is gonna be a loser then he's gonna be a loser. SOOO all that to say, there's the background of my story. The main point here is that DS's father is not exactly in the picture and hasn't really been at all since I found out I was pg.

My sister is recently divorced (she has a 1 1/2 year old) and dating this really awesome sweet guy. Well HIS very good friend has apparently been interested in me because he thinks I'm cute and wants to get to know me and all that..(we went to highschool together too). We have been texting and talking and chit chatting, and we went to dinner the other night. It was really nice, he is very sweet and I do kinda like him. But I obviously have other very important main priorities right now (Jude) and am really busy (working PT now and will be going for my master's in the Fall).

 Okay so, point to my story. And if you made it this far, TIA. I feel like Jude is really young for me to even be thinking about THINKING about dating. But it's not like I was out there looking..this guy came to ME. And his last XGF had a kid by another guy so it's not like he doesn't know what's up... But then I feel like maybe I'm saying those things to justify it to myself? I would never let anything get in the way of me being Jude's mommy or accomplishing my goals. But if I'm happy and he's nice and understanding and we're having fun and he likes my son and my son likes him.. (and I promise -to y'all and to myself- to NOT DTD..not trying to have another situation..also not planning on having him really around Jude until I'm more sure about it) should I really just be like flat out "NO don't talk to me" just on principal?

 I guess I'm wondering if you would date someone you felt comfortable about if LO was this young? And are slight feelings of guilt there when you start dating, no matter how old your LO is? WDYT/ WWYD/ what is your dating situation?

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Re: Okay so let's talking about dating..

  • I was starting a relationship whilst pregnant with DD. it ended when she was about 18mos. This guy meant a lot to me, and is one of two guys in my 35years I  "let in". The other wouldn't be until I was 29, and led to my son's birth...I got knocked up by a rebound!

    I think it's important to be comfortable with being alone. Don't LOOK for a relationship. However, don't turn away from someone just because you think it's not seemly. That said, make sure you're emotionally READY to date, or you'll inadvertently end up with a rebound that can mess you both up.

    I didn't introduce my daughter to anyone save three guys dated. She already knew SD, so he doesn't count. The last one, Jeremy, I thought was the real thing.

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