Should I fight this battle?

la79al

I am all about picking the battles with the kids, whether it be one of ours or one of his.  Anyhow, every time that SD (11) comes to our house, the woman that brings her stops at some fast food place so SD can get dinner.  I don't care about this except that SD never finishes her food and then walks into the house and eats it (and drinks her soda) in front of the littler girls.  Fast food is a rare treat in our house but the girls are well aware of what it is and when she is eating it in front of them, it causes lots of crying and screaming.  It's not like SD gets it 3 blocks away.  The nearest fast food from the direction she is coming is at least 35 minutes so it's not like I am asking her to inhale it.  Should I say something to SD about finishing her food before she gets here (or waiting until the girls go to bed)?  Of course she doesn't share with them and then them begging and her saying no, no, no just seems to set the mood for the rest of the evening.  And distracting them with other treats is not really ideal as she tends to get here when they are supposed to be in the middle of their bedtime routine. 

Holly_1007

tifanico:

She is 11, she already knows that her eating junk food at your place causes problems. I would definitely talk to her and ask her to finish before coming come.

Who drops her off though? 

gotta agree with tif... seems like she is doing it to cause trouble.  

I would adjust drop off time so that she is either there in time to eat dinner with you guys, or comes later after dinner

wwnbw

My SS (12) always comes home from his mom's on Sunday night with fast food. I don't really like it but I don't say anything. I just tell the other kids that they get things when he is at his moms.

I might ask her if she could finish it before she got there and explain how it's not fair to the little girls because they don't understand why she is able to eat that and they aren't. I know she sees that it bothers them but maybe just tell her and see what she says about it. 

lmpdjc

The first thing that strikes me as odd is that she's eating 35 minute old fast food?  Blah!  That stuff is not even good "fresh".  Why is it taking her so long to eat it?  I would definately say something.  Ideally, she would eat before she came or come in time to eat with your family. 

IVFBeliever

I would agree with saying something. It's not an unrealistic request by any means. If she is 11, chances are she knows what's going on....

And what woman drops her off?? 

Kaeldrasmommy

I'm also curious about who drops her off. Is it possible that she's not allowed to eat it on the way?

I would talk to the woman first, maybe ask her to either feed her earlier or not at all. If that doesn't go over then I would talk to the girl. If she really is doing it to be mean and that doesn't work, you could take it as soon as she gets there and tell her she can have it after the other kids go to bed and offer a healthier snack in the meantime.

Ilumine

Here is the most common sense solution.  Have BF pick her up or meet half way. 

MarSamWhitney

-auntie-:

Sounds like she doing this to bust your chops.

Three approaches-

1. Discuss that we all parent differently and that the rule at your house is no fast food if the others aren't enjoying some. Trash the crap and give her heated up left-overs instead.

2. Buy your kids a fast food dinner- as a treat- so her arrival has less impact- assuming she's doing it for show.

Or give them some desirable treat when she shows up. Individual ice cream cups or something for them to sit and eat with her as she has her "dinner" so they can bond.

3. Take everyone out for lunch at the food court- get the littles a nugget lunch and her a turkey wrap and a bottled water since she had crap the night before and you want to teach moderation.

If you cant figure out how to get her to stop bringing it, I like this approach.

SunshineMuffin

I'd simply say that fast food isn't permitted in your home. End of story. If I kept a kosher home (I don't), and my SC arrived with a ham sandwich, it wouldn't be allowed inside my home.  I do, however, think that your husband needs to be the one to address this issue with this drop-off woman.  He should be the one to tell SD that fast food isn't allowed in the home, so if she purchaes something before she arrives, she can't bring it in with her.

FutureMrsWittig

-auntie-:

Sounds like she doing this to bust your chops.

Three approaches-

1. Discuss that we all parent differently and that the rule at your house is no fast food if the others aren't enjoying some. Trash the crap and give her heated up left-overs instead.

2. Buy your kids a fast food dinner- as a treat- so her arrival has less impact- assuming she's doing it for show.

Or give them some desirable treat when she shows up. Individual ice cream cups or something for them to sit and eat with her as she has her "dinner" so they can bond.

3. Take everyone out for lunch at the food court- get the littles a nugget lunch and her a turkey wrap and a bottled water since she had crap the night before and you want to teach moderation.

I think this is a good idea.

znianiswan

edited by mod. this is getting old.