Nervous about support..

Hildietm

Hi my fellow bumpies     This is mine and my husband's first baby, and all of our family lives elsewhere. Either 6 hrs away or out of state. I'm getting really nervous about my lack of support after baby Bruce comes. I have a lot of friends that are here in San Diego but I feel like I wouldn't want to burden them for help. What if I just want an hour to myself so I don't go crazy, or to take a nap? I don't want to get burnt out or bitter...what are some of you guys doing for support?? Thank you!

jrsmama2010

I really don't know what to tell you on this one.  We live half way across the country from our families and when DS was born my mom and younger brother just showed up for his birth and left a day later and we don't have any friends up here.  I relied on his swing when I needed to shower I'd put him in that in the doorway and I took a nap when he napped.  He usually slept for at least 4 hours at a time so I didn't need one during the day. 

 

numberonemama

You just deal with it and get thru it the best you can.  I had zero help with #1 and DH did almost nothing at home to help so it was just me 24/7.  I occasionally would hire a babysitter so I could run some errands or take a nap, to clean ect.  Good luck!

Starfish17

We are in the same situation, but with #2 on the way.  Unfortuantely, you just make it work.  You will get "alone" time when the baby is napping.   Now that DS is older, he goes to bed about 8, so we have a couple hours in the evening too.  We do have to rely on friends, especially for daycare emergency pick-ups and days when DS is sick and we can't stay home, which sucks.  We thought about moving closer to family, but our families are on the complete opposite sides of the country from each other, and when have good jobs here. 

lisastro

I'm in the same boat.  Our closest family member is a 13 hour drive from us.  Most are all the way across the county or in other countries.  We haven't lived here for that long, so we don't have a lot of super close friends.  I'm worried about the lack of support, but I figure other people manage and I will find a way.  Good luck.

christyhal

I don't have any good advice, just wanted to say I am going to be in the same situation.  We moved to the west coast a few months before we got pg, and all family is still back on the east coast.  DH is going to be home the first week and won't be travelling for work the first month, and is going to work from home whenever possible.  He's also said he will try to make sure I get some 'me' time (even if just to shower or nap!) in the evenings and on weekends when he is home.  

mommybear77

I am pretty much on my own 24/7.  Hubby works afternoons so he sleeps during the day, I see him about 30 minutes before he goes to work and a couple hours after if I am awake.  My family is out of state and his are no help to me because they are older.  I have a 8 year old with a disability so I have that to deal with also,  you will be surprised how you just learn to do it on your own.  When the baby sleeps you sleep or do other things.  Put the baby down in a cradle or playpen next to you when you sleep, and if you need a shower or something it goes in the doorway so you can keep an eye on the baby.  Good luck, you will figure it all out.

znianiswan

 Good luck! 

 

 

 

MyaMaternity

It can be difficult not having support when you have two or more kids that you need to care for.  Keep in mind that the baby will sleep ALOT for the first few months.  Nap when he naps and take showers when he is napping.  It will be easier than you think.