Parenting

s/o what does "holding a grudge" mean?

I'm just curious what it means to you when you say you do or don't hold a grudge.  Is it the same thing as forgiving someone?  Does saying "I don't want them in my life" mean you still hold a grudge? Or.... what?

I'm sure there will be many different interpretations.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

Re: s/o what does "holding a grudge" mean?

  • To me it means that you're still holding on to anger or hurt feelings over a particular situation.  That could mean that you don't want them in your life but not wanting someone in your life doesn't necessarily mean you're holding a grudge.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

    image
  • For me, it's harboring negative or hurt feelings over a particular situation. It doesn't neccessarily mean you don't interact with the person anymore, but if you do, the feelings negatively affect the relationship.

    Lilypie - (yNYF)

    Lilypie - (bSes)

    T1 diabetes diagnosed 11/95 due to severe pancreatic injury
    BFP 1 1/22/10 EDD 9/30/10 Adria b. 9/11/10 d.8/9/11, Transposition of the Great Arteries,
    Pleural effusion, Kidney Failure
    BFP 2 4/26/12 EDD 1/3/13 M/C 5/13/12
    BFP 3 10/3/12 EDD 6/17/13 Twins! Preston and Juliet b. 5/22/13

     

     

     

     

     

  • Loading the player...
  • This content has been removed.
  • I guess there are different types of grudges but for me, it means that I'm not friends with that person anymore.

    I do still hold little grudges against people that I am close friends with.  I have a hard time letting go of stuff that really hurts me deeply.  I guess I try to forgive, but I never forget.

  • imagestarrkitten89:

    For me, it's harboring negative or hurt feelings over a particular situation. It doesn't neccessarily mean you don't interact with the person anymore, but if you do, the feelings negatively affect the relationship.

    This sums it up for me.  For example, I had a big falling out with a supervisor several months ago.  He said some very hurtful and personal things that really weren't appropriate in the workplace.  I told him that day that his comments would effect our working relationship.  I told him that he could expect the same quality and dedication that I'd always put into my work but not to expect any banter, etc. as had been common prior to that.  I've stayed true to my word thus far.

  • I don't think there can be many interpretations. A grudge is something you hold against someone over an unresolved issue.  How can that mean you have forgiven them? 

    image
    C is 3 years old

  • To me, holding a grudge is not forgiving or moving on.  Not wanting someone in your life doesn't mean you haven't forgiven them, though.  Sometimes it's just the healthiest decision if there have been negative issues between you & them, even if you have forgiven & moved on.

     

  • For me it means I can forgive you, but it's unlikely I will ever forget and it will probably (ok, it most definitely does) color my opinion of you going forward. So for example, I did not tell many (maybe 3 people) IRL about my m/c because I just didn't want to share that info. My mother went and told everybody and their brother. She has been moved down on the scale of what info she needs to know in my life.

    BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

    BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

    BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15


    image

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cb8c4.aspx[/img][/url]


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageScout2005:

    image

    ^This

    Even if we "make up," I tend to be quick to think snarky things in my head about that person. Forever. 

     

     

    Me too, and I love this picture.

    Lilypie - (yNYF)

    Lilypie - (bSes)

    T1 diabetes diagnosed 11/95 due to severe pancreatic injury
    BFP 1 1/22/10 EDD 9/30/10 Adria b. 9/11/10 d.8/9/11, Transposition of the Great Arteries,
    Pleural effusion, Kidney Failure
    BFP 2 4/26/12 EDD 1/3/13 M/C 5/13/12
    BFP 3 10/3/12 EDD 6/17/13 Twins! Preston and Juliet b. 5/22/13

     

     

     

     

     

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"