I'm just curious what it means to you when you say you do or don't hold a grudge. Is it the same thing as forgiving someone? Does saying "I don't want them in my life" mean you still hold a grudge? Or.... what?
I'm sure there will be many different interpretations.
Re: s/o what does "holding a grudge" mean?
For me, it's harboring negative or hurt feelings over a particular situation. It doesn't neccessarily mean you don't interact with the person anymore, but if you do, the feelings negatively affect the relationship.
T1 diabetes diagnosed 11/95 due to severe pancreatic injury
BFP 1 1/22/10 EDD 9/30/10 Adria b. 9/11/10 d.8/9/11, Transposition of the Great Arteries,
Pleural effusion, Kidney Failure
BFP 2 4/26/12 EDD 1/3/13 M/C 5/13/12
BFP 3 10/3/12 EDD 6/17/13 Twins! Preston and Juliet b. 5/22/13
I guess there are different types of grudges but for me, it means that I'm not friends with that person anymore.
I do still hold little grudges against people that I am close friends with. I have a hard time letting go of stuff that really hurts me deeply. I guess I try to forgive, but I never forget.
This sums it up for me. For example, I had a big falling out with a supervisor several months ago. He said some very hurtful and personal things that really weren't appropriate in the workplace. I told him that day that his comments would effect our working relationship. I told him that he could expect the same quality and dedication that I'd always put into my work but not to expect any banter, etc. as had been common prior to that. I've stayed true to my word thus far.
To me, holding a grudge is not forgiving or moving on. Not wanting someone in your life doesn't mean you haven't forgiven them, though. Sometimes it's just the healthiest decision if there have been negative issues between you & them, even if you have forgiven & moved on.
For me it means I can forgive you, but it's unlikely I will ever forget and it will probably (ok, it most definitely does) color my opinion of you going forward. So for example, I did not tell many (maybe 3 people) IRL about my m/c because I just didn't want to share that info. My mother went and told everybody and their brother. She has been moved down on the scale of what info she needs to know in my life.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cb8c4.aspx[/img][/url]
Me too, and I love this picture.
T1 diabetes diagnosed 11/95 due to severe pancreatic injury
BFP 1 1/22/10 EDD 9/30/10 Adria b. 9/11/10 d.8/9/11, Transposition of the Great Arteries,
Pleural effusion, Kidney Failure
BFP 2 4/26/12 EDD 1/3/13 M/C 5/13/12
BFP 3 10/3/12 EDD 6/17/13 Twins! Preston and Juliet b. 5/22/13