Blended Families
dmndsr4eva
member
What was supposed to be our 4 year "anniversary" is tomorrow.
dmndsr4eva
member
Ex has our son on Wednesday nights. Tomorrow would have been our four year anniversary of when we started dating. It's funny how these dates carry so much meaning. I can't decide yet if I am going to say something to him. He'll be spending what was supposed to be our anniversary with our son and his new chick. Wonderful.
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Re: What was supposed to be our 4 year "anniversary" is tomorrow.
I personally would not mention it to your ex.
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Ditto. Why would you even think of mentioning it to him? Clearly he has moved on, so why would you expect he sit alone and reflect on such a "significant" date?
This!
No one here is saying that broken families aren't a big deal. People break up.get divorced. Life happens. We're telling you that your ex has clearly moved on, and you need to do the same. Mentioning the date (that only you still feel is significant) to him is only going to result in your feelings being hurt and you getting angry at his lack of rememberance.
My XH and I were together for 6 years (including dating and getting married), and we divorced 7 years ago. We have 2 children together and never in the last 7 years have I ever mentioned our old wedding anniversary or any other anniversaries we shared while together. Because those anniversaries don't matter anymore. The anniversaries that matter now are the children's birthdays, and the special dates that my husband and I now share, that's it.
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I will gladly call you crazy.
You're still in a relationship with current BF, no? Why are you still pining over what "should've been" with your EX when you're supposed to be happy with this other person. You do NOT belong in a relationship if you still have so much anger and resentment towards your ex.
My XH is still with the woman he had an affair with. I stopped pining over my broken family about 3 months after he left. From what I know, his GF is wonderful to DS and that is what matters to me. You just need to get it through your head that your relationship with your EX is OVER. Now, focus on your #1 priority which is your DS. I never hear you talk about him. All you ever talk about is your BF's daughter or your EX and his plastic GF. You seriously need to reprioritize your life. Stat.
You're still in a relationship with current BF, no? Why are you still pining over what "should've been" with your EX when you're supposed to be happy with this other person. You do NOT belong in a relationship if you still have so much anger and resentment towards your ex.
If this is true, then I would STRONGLY recommend counseling for yourself. We totally get what you're trying to say. We're trying to save you from looking like a fool to a man that no longer cares.
Agreed. I feel really bad for your current boyfriend.
Also, if you don't let this go you are going to push your own child away. The way you post here makes me believe that when your child is old enough you will be laying all of this on his poor shoulders. As in, look at what your awful father did to your poor mother. All that is going to do is drive your child away. Let it go NOW, for your poor child's sake.
Well lucky for me I have a few years to get over things before my son realizes that he comes from a broken home. And FWIW his other ex seems to feel the same way I do and her two teenage daughters know it and I can assure you that she is so incredibly close to her daughters. So your theory doesn't work everytime. Especially since they grew up with their dad getting a new wife or girlfriend every three years.
I don't want to call you crazy but you will look pretty crazy if you say something to him about it. There is no reason to.
I don't say this to hurt you but I bet he has NO IDEA that tomorrow would have been your anniversary. I mean I'm a woman and I had to sit here for a second to see if I remembered when I married my exH.
That is part of your problem. You really plan on raising your son to think he comes from a broken home? That to me is just horrible. Yeah my exH and I split up, we shuffle DS back and forth. I would never in a million years let my son think he comes from a "broken" situation. There is nothing wrong with our situation. It's life. DS is happy, healthy, loved and cared for by a lot of people. I'm going to raise my son to think he has a pretty damn good life that he should be proud of. To raise your child thinking anything about their situation is wrong or broken is just setting them up for issues down the line.
My exH's dad left his mom. She has always laid her emotional issues regarding it on her kids. Do they all love her...yeah. Do they love their dad still...yeah. Does EVERYONE roll their eyes and sigh and talk behind her back at how she needs to get over it already? YES!!! It's beyond annoying and something kids shouldn't be in the middle of.
Let him become someone that you used to know.
I know it is hard, but don't let him rent that much space in your head. You are not with him anymore. Your concern with him about him should lay exclusvively with how he is as a father to your child and not as an ex to you.
Good luck.
The way you keep mentioning broken home rubs me the wrong way. I really hope you NEVER bring this term up while you're raising him. You'll damage him mentally and spiritually.
Also, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but you sound unstable and depressed. I would strongly recommend going to your OB to discuss post partum depression. Take care of yourself. Good Luck.
Oh it is true. Very, very true.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
LOL. I would totally watch that movie. Someone should make it. I love me some lifetime.
This does not surprise me!!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell? Well if you are being serious I appreciate the sentiment. Although I fully realize we are past the point of no return. Way too many hurtful things have been done and said by us and our families. I probably won't mention it as I know the only reason I wanted to do it was to try to piss him off or make him realize what a fool he was. Which as everyone pointed out probably won't happen.
Though as a side note he sent me a text the other day telling me congratulations that I had completely made him broke because he had to start paying me full cs plus back pay in May. I don't know why he bothered because I don't feel one ounce sorry for him.
I'm pretty sure she was serious. I mean, it IS a special day. And honestly, he probably reaches out to you just to make sure he knows he still cares.
He doesn't want you to feel sorry for him. He wants you to know that he thinks your a b*tch. Seriously, get some counseling because you need to move on. Your child doesn't come from a "broken home." He comes from two loving parents who just couldn't be together anymore. That's not a horrible thing. I'd rather have two divorced parents who love me separately than two married parents who fight constantly. You are really only damaging yourself and your son by keeping this anger and resentment alive.
LOL, really? I am a b*tch because I took him to court for the money that the law entitles me too? Money that is to support his child. Because when he dumped me I was only working 20 hours a week? Yeah that really makes me the devil.
I don't know if your parents are divorced or not? My parents are and I can tell you that coming from a divorced family no matter what the circumstance has very real challenges. For example, they will always miss the parent they are not with. It is very common for children to fantasize about their parents getting back together. These are very REAL emotions. So you can sugar coat it however you want but I know from my own life experience it is hard and sad at times.
And P.S. it is YOU'RE not YOUR.
LOL, really? I am a b*tch because I took him to court for the money that the law entitles me too? Money that is to support his child. Because when he dumped me I was only working 20 hours and week? Yeah that really makes me the devil.
I don't know if your parents are divorced or not? My parents are and I can tell you that coming from a divorced family no matter what the circumstance has very real challenges. For example, they will always miss the parent they are not with. It is very common for children to fantasize about their parents getting back together. This are very REAL emotions. So you can sugar coat it however you want but I know from my own life experience it is hard and sad at times.
She's not calling you a ***. She's saying your ex is upset that he has to pay child support. You sound very angry and erratic. One minute you want to call your ex to tell him how it would have been your 4 year anniversary. In the next breathe you're commenting how hard being a single parent is.
Please seek counseling. We feel for you - we just think you need to get a grip on reality. Please get counseling ASAP. you need to talk to someone. Good luck.
Yes, it's true that some chlidren from divorce fantasize about their parents getting back together. This is especially common among children who were of grade school age when their parents divorced. Your son is now 2 yrs old, right? Therefore he has no memories whatsoever of you and your Ex being together. None. He's going to grow up never knowing any different. My husband and BM were never married and were already broken up when she discovered she was pregnant. K has zero memories of them together and now at the age of 6 she has flat out said she doesn't want them together. As she put it, "If Mommy and Daddy were to get married, then I wouldn't have Mama Jo or my brother or sister". Kids are resilient. They adapt to these situations.
I think the issue here isn't your son one day fantasizing about Mommy and Daddy getting back together one day, it's that you can't seem to let go and move on. Which is something your son needs you to do.
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I personally think you are the one who needs a reality check. Look at the comments on this video and the other videos of this same song. These children are hurting. And it doesn't matter if their parents divorced or broke up when they were two years old or 12 years old. The comments speak for themselves.
And my son will be taught that the reason he was born was because his parents loved eachother. And BTW I have his first year baby book with over a hundred pictures of me and his dad together. And he will know that he was born into a loving relationship. I will not hide that from him.
https://youtu.be/sJgPonBWOFY
Two Houses by Matthew West
My parents were never married. They seperated when I was about 1 or so. I never really got the chance to feel anger or pain. I got pretty used to it, but I still think about what life would? be like if we were all one big family again. My dad got remarried, and even has a son with her. I feel happy for him, but I still wish it could have worked out with him and my mom.
aquagirlrules 1 year ago
I know that people will say things when i say this but i dont care. From the comments i've read, they all say when i was this age my parents divorced but with me its different. My parents were never married, only dated for like a month and BOOM! my mom was pregnant. My dad was never? in the picture until maybe when i turned 3. Luckly i get to see him every other weekend and spend my summers over there. It sucks to have to go from one parent to another. 1BLACKVEILBRIDESFANS 5 months ago if it wheren't for god i wouldn't be able to do anyof this my parents got divorced when? i was 2 and a half and i am 15 now and i still cry my selff to sleep everynight hisbbybirl2011 7 months ago I cry everytime I hear this! My mom lives in an apartment and my dad? lives at the house. I've been caught inbetween these places for 12 years. It is really hard sometimes, but you have to be strong! The first time I heard this song, I was actually going inbetween the two places...and I started crying and had to pull over. Things aren't always easy, but they'll get better. Just stick by your families side, and don't lose hope for your family!! My blessings go out to you!! ? GirlPoemLover in reply to christangirlful (Show the comment) 1 year ago"Yes, son, your mother and father were madly in love. Then they weren't. I'm not saying it's your fault, but right around the time you were born, the shizz hit the fan. Now daddy's dating a wh*re and mommy's crazy. But really, it's not your fault."
Kids only know what they experience and are taught. If you continue to have this negative, angry attitude around your son, yes, he WILL pine for a happy life with two parents, a dog, a cat, and a white picket fence. That's on you. If you stop harboring all this resentment and start building your own life, he will see that you can survive hardship and will be more resilient. Please get into counseling. If not for you, for your son.
Wow. You really don't get it. This post started as YOU wanting to mention to your ex that tomorrow is some date that is only significant to you, and now it has turned into you claiming that this "broken family" issue is going to traumatize your son for life. And nowhere in this thread have you owned the fact that you have not let go and moved on. All these ladies are telling you to get help with moving on. Everyone has agreed that children hurt from divorce, but how they handle it growing up will be a direct reflection of how their parents act. Your ex has moved on and is in a relationship. You are still pining away for someone who you claim has treated you horribly and abandoned you. Your son is going to grow up resenting his father because you cannot let go.
The person here who needs a reality check (and a therapist) is you. You seem to have this idea that your son would be better off in a home where his biological parents hate each other and are miserable, but are at least together. I'd love to see some random youtube video you manage to find that showcases how children from unhappy homes feel.
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Did you feel that bad for his daughters who came from a "broken home?" Because if you did, then you shouldn't have married him in the first place. You should have sent him to try and work things out with wife / gf #1.
Anyone who texts you complaining about how much it costs him to support a child he helped create is a loser.
I honestly feel bad. I know from reading some of your posts that you are still really hurt by your break up.
As much as this dating anniversary is getting under your skin, sometimes it is better to just act like you don't give a rats azz. It sucks, but I can almost guarantee that if you say something to your ex about it, he is going to chalk it up to be you being crazy. Don't give him the satisfaction. Reminding him of this is not going to make him realize he made a mistake, it may only reassure him that he made the right decision by leaving if you continue to act desperate and pathetic.
OH WOW!!!!!!!!!
Yes, hopefully with time I will come around to realizing I am better off without him. When I think about it logically he really isn't all that. When he and I started dating he had been divorced for 11 years so reconciliation really wasn't on the table. At the time she had been remarried for at least 9 years and has twins with the new hubby.