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Question about a wedding invite (NBR)

H received a wedding invitation the other day made out just to him.  We've been married for 2 years and this couple came to our wedding.  There is no doubt that H has a wife.

The invitation specifically was written to "Mr. Firstname Lastname."

Am I invited?

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Re: Question about a wedding invite (NBR)

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    That is really weird.

    I would have no idea.  I would get your H to ask them.

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    eav2ceav2c member

    I would say no... It should say "Mr and Mrs Firstname Lastname."

    It could be an innocent omission on their part but seriously how rude!

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    Hmmm that is odd but I would assume maybe its a mistake?  If you know the couple well you might jokingly point it out.  My friend was inviting to a wedding of a co-workers and she basically only invited the girls from work not the husbands to keep the guest numbers down I guess??  But its still rather odd.
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    Technically... No

    Although when it comes to the etiquette of addressing invitations people tend to fail. 

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    I would sure hope so!  Write both of your names on the RSVP and if they had only wanted your DH they might call you guys.  At our wedding we invited a single friend with no guest and she replied with a guest.  It didn't matter to us bc the person she brought was also a friend.  So I say see what happens.  I think it is proper wedding etiquette to invite a husband and his wife, vice versa.  This is just what I would do.
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    I had this happen a few months ago.  MH received an invitation addressed to him, I told him that I was technically not invited since my name wasn't on the invitation (MH thought I was being stupid and that I was invited).  MH  RSVPd for 2 and I went to the wedding.  I still have no idea if I was actually invited or not.

     

     

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    imageMandJS:

    imagefeatherust:
    I would sure hope so!  Write both of your names on the RSVP and if they had only wanted your DH they might call you guys.  At our wedding we invited a single friend with no guest and she replied with a guest.  It didn't matter to us bc the person she brought was also a friend.  So I say see what happens.  I think it is proper wedding etiquette to invite a husband and his wife, vice versa.  This is just what I would do.

    Please don't do this. OP, technically, you're right. You're not invited. It might be an omission. Maybe have your H call and say he's hoping it works but wanted to clarify. It's still not super okay etiquette-wise to do that, but... if you honestly think it's a mistake? HOWEVER. DO NOT just RSVP for 2 if you're not both clearly invited. That's just as tacky, and actually even more rude, than if your H was legitimately invited on his own. 

    Exactly this.  Technically, because of the way it was addressed, your H was the only one invited. If you honestly think it was a mistake, have him call to confirm as opposed to sending an RSVP for 2.   

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    imageklink11:

    Technically... No

    Although when it comes to the etiquette of addressing invitations people tend to fail. 

    This.  People really don't know the "rules" sometimes.  If, by chance, it was intentional, that is a huge etiquette no-no.  Spouses are a package deal :)

     

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    By traditional wedding "rules," no, you are not invited based on the invite.

    However that doesn't mean it wasn't made out incorrectly, either.

    Are there other friends of yours that fall in the same "category" as you two (i.e. coworkers, friends from college, etc) that you could ask to see if the same was for them?  I mean, if your DH is a coworker of the groom, then maybe they were only able to invite the coworkers, not the spouses, and you guys could ask other coworkers? 


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    It might have been a simple typo and the person writing out the labels may have forgotten to type in "Mrs."  If they are good friends of your hubby, I would have him call and ask about the invite and say something like "Marla and I know from experience how difficult it narrowing down a wedding guest list, but I need to know if Marla is included as my +1?"
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    ha ha maybe they forgot about you!!! ha ha j/k.....either way you think it would say "and guest" on it.
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    imageAlyssa102:

    That is really weird.

    I would have no idea.  I would get your H to ask them.

     I agree with this.  My guess is that it's an oversight and they probably meant to include you :) 

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    imageMandJS:

    imagefeatherust:
    I would sure hope so!  Write both of your names on the RSVP and if they had only wanted your DH they might call you guys.  At our wedding we invited a single friend with no guest and she replied with a guest.  It didn't matter to us bc the person she brought was also a friend.  So I say see what happens.  I think it is proper wedding etiquette to invite a husband and his wife, vice versa.  This is just what I would do.

    Please don't do this. OP, technically, you're right. You're not invited. It might be an omission. Maybe have your H call and say he's hoping it works but wanted to clarify. It's still not super okay etiquette-wise to do that, but... if you honestly think it's a mistake? HOWEVER. DO NOT just RSVP for 2 if you're not both clearly invited. That's just as tacky, and actually even more rude, than if your H was legitimately invited on his own. 

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    imageMrs.DeliaMarieP:

    By traditional wedding "rules," no, you are not invited based on the invite.

    However that doesn't mean it wasn't made out incorrectly, either.

    Are there other friends of yours that fall in the same "category" as you two (i.e. coworkers, friends from college, etc) that you could ask to see if the same was for them?  I mean, if your DH is a coworker of the groom, then maybe they were only able to invite the coworkers, not the spouses, and you guys could ask other coworkers? 

    I can't imagine people would that rude but anything is possible!  If they can't invite the spouse, they shouldn't send an invite at all!

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    From the way the invite was addressed - no.

    I would have your husband call and ask. Just a simple "I wanted to mail back the RSVP to you all, but I wanted to verify if my wife was invited since the invite was only addressed to myself". Simple and clean cut.

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    imageyeliza h:
    imageMandJS:

    imagefeatherust:
    I would sure hope so!  Write both of your names on the RSVP and if they had only wanted your DH they might call you guys.  At our wedding we invited a single friend with no guest and she replied with a guest.  It didn't matter to us bc the person she brought was also a friend.  So I say see what happens.  I think it is proper wedding etiquette to invite a husband and his wife, vice versa.  This is just what I would do.

    Please don't do this. OP, technically, you're right. You're not invited. It might be an omission. Maybe have your H call and say he's hoping it works but wanted to clarify. It's still not super okay etiquette-wise to do that, but... if you honestly think it's a mistake? HOWEVER. DO NOT just RSVP for 2 if you're not both clearly invited. That's just as tacky, and actually even more rude, than if your H was legitimately invited on his own. 

    THIS.

    Super this.  You aren't invited.  Rude IMO, but it happens.  A lot of people pay for their own weddings and want to keep costs down, so they only invite the member of the couple who is their friend.  I just went to a wedding where no one outside of the family was invited with a guest, even people who were married.  The couple had a strict budget, and +1s at $60 a head add up.  If your husband doesn't want to go without you, don't go.  Don't invite yourself.  Two rudes don't make a right.

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