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Need a little time to vent...
A few days ago I had made a post about a little tip I had researched and am just now getting to read the comments. A little frustrated at some of the things people have said. It was just a tip, completely harmless. And I do understand it was my first day on the website but not my first in general. I thought that was what the site was for. For support, understanding, and advise. Not everyone's advise is going to be helpful to everyone but if it helps one person, than great.
So, because this is a public site, I am not going to say what I really feel to those who were ignorant. However, I do feel better I got a little bit of what I want to say off my chest.
My main reason on here was to interact with other women in my shoes that are trying to conceive. I have conceived twice but my first one resulted in an ectopic pregnancy. I have one tube left, just one, so I need all the support I can get - not what I am finding so far!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need a little time to vent...
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/66242581.aspx
I've included your post just because readers will try to find what you're venting about. I think some of the comments were due to you posting about having a boy or girl and when to time sex to be successful in determining the sex. I think it's more of not understanding a lot of the ladies on this board and their situations and how that is a minor detail to some as far as planning in TTC. It sucks that your first few posts backfired, but that's part of it I guess. Don't be discouraged as far as posting on the board, it just helps to lurk a little more to get a vibe for the boards and to allow others to get to know you as you will learn about everyone here.
Wow, you are SO SWEET, thank you so much. From what I have read there are several women who are supportive and very helpful. There are also others that truly don't care how others are going to react to their comments. TTC is very frustrating especially when you have been trying for a while or have never done it before.
I felt the same way when I was trying the first time - very scared and had myself convinced I couldn't get pregnant. It's your mind's way of bracing your heart if you don't get pregnant the first time around. Sometimes it takes some women a few months. I have all the faith in the world you won't have any trouble. Believe me, the 2WW is the WORST! They make the tests to let you know 6 days in advance but they have never worked for me. I have never gotten a positive result until after I actually missed my period but I have found the ovulation calendars to be VERY helpful. My husband and I have sex every other day and it worked well both times. I got pregnant right away.
When I got pregnant with my daughter, my second pregnancy, I found out I was preggo the day after I saw my sister deliver her very large boy. Talk about scared!
It's for support and for information.
I really, really recommend that you spend a little time lurking - read what others have posted, and learn what's already been discussed ad infinitum. Most people aren't out to tear you down, but you have to realize that many of the women here have been here a while, and we see so many "hey did you guys try this great tip??" posts and it gets to be annoying after a while.
It can be very difficult to find good fertility and TTC information on the internet. This place is far better than most others I've checked out, because many of the regular posters seriously know their stuff. Please do join the discussions and get involved, but maybe take some time to get a feel for the joint before posting about the latest tips and tricks you've heard about.
Antijenic Drift - my blog
What's a newbie link?
And it wasn't meant to be condescending. What works for 1 person may not work for others. However, someone may not know about the calendar and it may work for them. I don't mind sharing what has worked for me for that reason - it may help someone.
This is a newbie link.
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/42877040.aspx
Kelly - first of all, please know anyone is welcomed here. That being said and as other PP's have stated, spend some time lurking on the board and read the newbie link. Please understand that had you have lurked for a bit, you would have seen how insensitive the post you're referring to was to everyone - particularly, the ones that have been here a while and have been TTC for many months.
I can't speak for everyone, but I can assure you that many of these women just want a their future little one and could care less about whether its a boy or a girl.
Please stick around - just take the time to read some of the threads and become more informed.
For some of us newbies it's hard to go and read through the posts because there are SO many.....and wouldn't it be easier for the "annoyed" people to just ignore the post that is repetitive rather than asking new people to look back over months and months of threads? I think the best thing about this is that it's in real time and getting feedback and being able to say things that you can't tell other people yet. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all....
And if repetitive posts annoy you, read new ones...but I'm sure NO ONE on here ha EVER posted ANYTHING that hasn't been said before unless it's about their personal TTC journey......so keep that in mind before you make negative comments to someone else...just keep swimming!
THANK YOU khowell16
It's not fair to ask us to read through hours of posts when we may have a simple question or just trying to "fit in" with everyone else trying to conceive. There are no laws to these webpages and obviously some people have too much time on their hands.
PLUS, I have been told this website is for advice and support so how can it be for advice if every piece of advice I give is taken wrong. If you are that freaking sensitive to take advice wrong, maybe you are the one that should be reading something else. It is the exact opposite of support.
I understand many of you have been on here for a while and I am sorry you have had to go through that. BUT stopping taking your frustrations out on those that are new here. Who knows, maybe we can teach you something!
The bolded part is exactly the point.
You're allowed to post what you want, and people are allowed to respond however they want. If you don't like what you hear, then you need to either ignore it, grow a thicker skin or go somewhere else. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if it's an opinion you don't like.
It's worked for me both times.
If you know so much, why are you here to begin with? Obviously your messages are more offending than mine. If you are looking to really impress someone, why not post your medical degree.....
Yeah, because that's the way to get people to like you...
"The bolded part is exactly the point.
You're allowed to post what you want, and people are allowed to respond however they want. If you don't like what you hear, then you need to either ignore it, grow a thicker skin or go somewhere else. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if it's an opinion you don't like. "
Uh is this high school or something????????????/ I guess I didn't get the memo.
Thanks for reiterating my point for me.
Why is that ironic, do you have one?
If so, I think you need to sue your school. Or atleast go back and finish it to include communication skills.
Why thank you
You're a joy, aren't you?
She is TTGP, that's why she's here. And she knows hell of a lot more than you.
Seriously, read the newbie link!
BFP #1:10/31/10 DS born 6/22/11BFP #3:4/24/12 DD born 12/31/12
You realize you're the only one saying rude things in this thread, right?
Khowell16, take your own damn advice and get out of here!
There's no point to keep editing this post to say something different. People have already quoted you several times.
ETA: Oops! I meant to quote her other post.
1. You're wrong for making that comment.
2. I won't see your response as the block button makes you go away since you won't leave!
Well you're here too, so what does that say about you?
You're making an excellent first impression, btw.
FFS. This site isn't all that difficult. Lurk first. Post something useful. Whining about getting butt hurt will get you no where.
And for the love of all that is good, please use the quote button. Otherwise, you look even more ridiculous having a conversation with yourself.
Me: 32 DH: 31.
B/W: good. SA: good.
November 2012: Paratubal cyst found during U/S.
January 10, 2013: Lap removed paratubal cyst and Stage 2 Endometriosis.
3 cycles of Femara + TI = BFNs
June 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 37.5 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFN
July 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 75 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFP!!!!
Beta 1 @ 11 DPIUI = 76. Progesterone = 27.3
BFP 8/16/2013 // EDD 4/28/2014
Jordan Samuel born April 19, 2014. 6 lb, 12 oz and 18 inches long.
CLICK ME!!!11!!1111!!
Nope, I am not leaving so hang on for the ride.
And I don't really care about my first impresson. Actually, I started off well by giving advice and talking to everyone and then some people had to say unnecessary things SO I am just giving it back. I do have that right!
Really? Wow, you really went there didn't you?
It's one thing to stand up for yourself, but it's entirely another thing to ask for support/advice and then give a low, classless blow to the very same people you claim you want it from in the first place.
I am done with getting the advice now. This website has become personal.
Uh, yeah. You made it that way.
Thanks for the tip on the quote button.
Thanks for the tip on the quote button.
Aren't you just a ray of sunshine? Gosh I hope you stick around so you can teach us all of your wisdom and be a good example of faith. You're special.
BTW, it's "horny" not horney. Learn to spell.
Me: 32 DH: 31.
B/W: good. SA: good.
November 2012: Paratubal cyst found during U/S.
January 10, 2013: Lap removed paratubal cyst and Stage 2 Endometriosis.
3 cycles of Femara + TI = BFNs
June 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 37.5 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFN
July 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 75 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFP!!!!
Beta 1 @ 11 DPIUI = 76. Progesterone = 27.3
BFP 8/16/2013 // EDD 4/28/2014
Jordan Samuel born April 19, 2014. 6 lb, 12 oz and 18 inches long.
CLICK ME!!!11!!1111!!
Are you planning on taking out a "hit" on some of the ladies of this board? Calm down, honeybadger.
No I didn't - I was reaching out to those that said offending things expecting some peace or understanding. Instead I got a bunch of mouth even on another post I was trying to help someone with. I wasn't going to continue to give advice if all I was going to see was negative comments.
You are very welcome. But, of course, you know it all anyways. I am sure you would have figured out how to not look like a moron.
Me: 32 DH: 31.
B/W: good. SA: good.
November 2012: Paratubal cyst found during U/S.
January 10, 2013: Lap removed paratubal cyst and Stage 2 Endometriosis.
3 cycles of Femara + TI = BFNs
June 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 37.5 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFN
July 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 75 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFP!!!!
Beta 1 @ 11 DPIUI = 76. Progesterone = 27.3
BFP 8/16/2013 // EDD 4/28/2014
Jordan Samuel born April 19, 2014. 6 lb, 12 oz and 18 inches long.
CLICK ME!!!11!!1111!!
So in real life, do you walk into a room of people, let's say in a church (you mentioned faith, so change it to synagogue/mosque/temple, whatever suits your faith), sit down, and tell them about some great thing you learned about the Bible? I doubt it. Wouldn't you first sit down, introduce yourself, get to know them, find out what they're talking about, where they're at with their faith, what they already know, and where they're coming from before giving them advice? That's how it should work here, too.
Just as we don't know anything about you, you don't know what we already know or our situations, so just giving a piece of random advice is not making a good first impression, in my book. And in case you didn't notice, I'd say about 75% of us have heard of Shettles (and know it by it's name), know the purported science behind it, and know that the chances of it succeeding are by no means guaranteed, although in the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility the author does give it a better than 50/50 chance of working. In other words, your advice was completely misplaced because it was something many of us already know about, which you might have known if you had taken the time to get to know us as described in the previous paragraph.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
Believe it or not, which I am sure you won't - I am a very friendly person but just like many of you, I am very sensitive when it comes to baby talk. Like some of you I am sure, I have lost a child and I don't have much family left. I have lost my dad, a sister, and grew up in an abusive household. I have lived homeless and lost my virginity at 6 years old. I know it's TMI but I have literally been through hell and back and I hold what little pride I have left very dear to me. My "helpful" messages weren't to be taken the way they were read. It was truly an act of kindness. Instead of others responding ignorantly, maybe you should have taken the time to get to know me. It would have costed you a lot less time to learn me than it is for me to go through pages and pages and pages of messages to learn all of you. That comes over time. Now I am just sticking around because so many people want me gone!
Really?
Yeah. Nothing personal about any of that.
Well thanks for telling us about the Shettles method . . we got it.
And if you are using a callendar to tell you when you ovulate please don't "help" us anyore with any of your "advice."
BFP 4/4/12 CP 4/10/12
9/20/2013 Came home with our little miracle from the Philippines
11/26/2013 Surprise!!! BFP!
If you are going to do it, do it right and copy the posts that other people have said to me that are negative.