September 2012 Moms
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That's it, I'm home schooling my kids...

So these 3rd grade girls are in the office today yelling at each other because one of them is accusing the other two (sisters) of smoking weed!! Ugh, this just breaks my heart. God I hope this isn't true, and just to know that they are around adults who talk about this stuff in front of them for them even to know what that is...

 IMO 3rd grade is way to early for them to even know about this stuff. I know we can't shelter them forever but I would be angry as a parent if my 3rd graders came home asking me about this.

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Re: That's it, I'm home schooling my kids...

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    My nephew just got kicked out of school for having weed. He was in the 8th grade. That school has had problems with the younger ones too. My little brother (age 9) was telling my parents about a kid in his class who had (in his words) "weeds" at school too. My brother didn't know why someone could get in trouble for having "weeds" but that's because he's never been around it.

    Kids that young should never be exposed to stuff like that. I didn't know my mom smoked weed (for medical reasons) until I was 16. I found her pipe and she admitted it. But we never knew! She kept it well hidden from us. She still smokes, and my younger siblings living at home have no idea.

    I was thinking about home schooling too. It scares me half to death the kind of things kids do in schools now-a-days.

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    Ugh... you should hear the things my class of Kindergarteners talk about.  Enough to make your toes curl!! 
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    I remember we actually learned a lot through DARE education.  There is also a surprising amount they pick up through TV and the internet.  I'm not scared of the schools so much as I'm scared of raising a kid in the age where there are so many devices and mediums for bad messages to get through!  You can control as much as you can under your roof and your watch, but they'll be around other kids and you don't want to shelter them so much they don't know how to handle bad messages.  You hope you'll be able to prepare them to handle things and know what's right and wrong, but even myself, who had good parents who really cared about what we mentally consumed, still ended up making some dumb decisions in my younger days.  
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    An ex-coworker of mine has two daughters, ages 8 and 10 at the time of this story. I went over to her house to work on her taxes for her, and I guess she had just been smoking pot. The girls came out of their room to say hi, and they said, "We love when Mommy is high, she doesn't yell at us!"

    ... classy, right there.

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    cbj09cbj09 member
    I worked at a day care in college and one day the sweetest little 4 year old said "I will cut you. And your mom!" to another kid. Sure, he was just repeating things he's heard... but if he's hearing those things at 4, I don't know what he'll be hearing and repeating when he's 7, 10, 15... Sad
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    This whole thread makes me sick to my stomach. I think I will start my own commune.... 
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    That's actually part of the reason that DH and I really ARE going to homeschool. My kids need to know about drugs and alcohol and sex and all that stuff, and they need to know how to handle it...but not when they're 6. I went to a rough public school when I was a kid and I remember a boy telling us he was going to rape us. We were all of 8 years old...he shouldn't have even had a concept of what that meant, but he did. It's not that I want to shelter my kids from the harsh realities of life...it's that I want to moderate it and introduce the subjects when they're ready. 
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    imageauroraloo:
    I think you should have to have a teaching license to homeschool.

    I actually agree with you on this. I went to college for Secondary Education, and I now work in an educational software company. Some of our products are homeschool products, and you'd be SO amazed by the people who are homeschooling their children.

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    Same here.  There is WAY too much in the public school system that should not be.  

     

    And no I don't think you should have a license to homeschool...

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    imageauroraloo:
    I think you should have to have a teaching license to homeschool.

    Yes

    I know a few people who "homeschool." It's not regulated in my area, so it kind of makes me ill what people pass off as homeschooling. My sister (we do not get along) is supposedly homeschooling my 15 year old niece. My sister did not graduate high school and does not have her GED. My niece is evidently about to graduate homeschool (high school) because she's so far ahead. Yeah, right. That's funny because when she pulled her from school last year at 14 years old, she was failing and was having to repeat 8th grade. 

    Anyway, we aren't happy with the schools in our district, so our girls are enrolled at montessori for the foreseeable future. 

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    imageblindvictory:
    That's actually part of the reason that DH and I really ARE going to homeschool. My kids need to know about drugs and alcohol and sex and all that stuff, and they need to know how to handle it...but not when they're 6. I went to a rough public school when I was a kid and I remember a boy telling us he was going to rape us. We were all of 8 years old...he shouldn't have even had a concept of what that meant, but he did. It's not that I want to shelter my kids from the harsh realities of life...it's that I want to moderate it and introduce the subjects when they're ready. 

    Except for the anecdote (wow, that's....wow), ditto.

    I know a lot of teachers around here too....and yea....I don't really want them to be teaching my kid.  Teachers have to put up with too much crap (discipline, politics, etc) that I'd rather my husband and myself (both college educated) be responsible for our children's education. 

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    We are planning to homeschool for a large variety of reasons, least of which is the failure of our public schools to properly educate its students. It's awful how bad they are and we can't afford the private schooling they have available. We are lucky to have a fantastic homeschool program in our area..they even offer supplemental classes like P.E and music where our kids will be able to socialize with other children who are homeschooled. It's really cool.

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    Am I the only one who doesn't live in an area with "bad" schools?  That was a really big decision when we bought our home 3 years ago--what are the schools like, and will our eventual kids have options available?  If not, then we weren't going to live there.

    I went to Catholic school when I was growing up and while I would love to send my kids to a private/religious/Montessori school, in my district it's completely not necessary.  Sure, things could change in the next 5 years until this kid is in school, but no matter where you send your kids, you have to teach them at home as well.

    One of my biggest pet peeves is people who tell me "Well their teacher isn't teaching them."  My niece is almost 6 and can't read.  Her mother thinks it's the teacher's responsibility to be teaching her, and while I can see that, it's the parent's responsibility to foster learning at home and continue the lessons. 


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    imageauroraloo:
    imagetinabean00:

    imageblindvictory:
    That's actually part of the reason that DH and I really ARE going to homeschool. My kids need to know about drugs and alcohol and sex and all that stuff, and they need to know how to handle it...but not when they're 6. I went to a rough public school when I was a kid and I remember a boy telling us he was going to rape us. We were all of 8 years old...he shouldn't have even had a concept of what that meant, but he did. It's not that I want to shelter my kids from the harsh realities of life...it's that I want to moderate it and introduce the subjects when they're ready. 

    Except for the anecdote (wow, that's....wow), ditto.

    I know a lot of teachers around here too....and yea....I don't really want them to be teaching my kid.  Teachers have to put up with too much crap (discipline, politics, etc) that I'd rather my husband and myself (both college educated) be responsible for our children's education. 

    You're responsible for your children's education either way.

    Being college educated doesn't mean you can do the job of someone educated specifically. I'm college educated too, and have 1.5 master's degrees. I couldn't do someone's job in marketing, or law, or medicine, or teach science. If your argument is that you're both college educated, it's a faulty one. 

    I'm with Rora on this one. This thread is turning into a slap in the face for our educators. Yes there are things out there that are scary and you probably don't want your 4 year old talking about weed but again, like Rora said, that's because of the parents' influence, not because of teachers. Kids will learn from other kids. So are you also guarding against socializing them? Is that the point? You don't want your children to hang out with rift-raft children?  

    And MH and I are products of the public school system and do plan on sending our children to public school. Both of us are educated soooo...

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    imagenumb3rMel:
    imageauroraloo:
    imagetinabean00:

    imageblindvictory:
    That's actually part of the reason that DH and I really ARE going to homeschool. My kids need to know about drugs and alcohol and sex and all that stuff, and they need to know how to handle it...but not when they're 6. I went to a rough public school when I was a kid and I remember a boy telling us he was going to rape us. We were all of 8 years old...he shouldn't have even had a concept of what that meant, but he did. It's not that I want to shelter my kids from the harsh realities of life...it's that I want to moderate it and introduce the subjects when they're ready. 

    Except for the anecdote (wow, that's....wow), ditto.

    I know a lot of teachers around here too....and yea....I don't really want them to be teaching my kid.  Teachers have to put up with too much crap (discipline, politics, etc) that I'd rather my husband and myself (both college educated) be responsible for our children's education. 

    You're responsible for your children's education either way.

    Being college educated doesn't mean you can do the job of someone educated specifically. I'm college educated too, and have 1.5 master's degrees. I couldn't do someone's job in marketing, or law, or medicine, or teach science. If your argument is that you're both college educated, it's a faulty one. 

    I'm with Rora on this one. This thread is turning into a slap in the face for our educators. Yes there are things out there that are scary and you probably don't want your 4 year old talking about weed but again, like Rora said, that's because of the parents' influence, not because of teachers. Kids will learn from other kids. So are you also guarding against socializing them? Is that the point? You don't want your children to hang out with rift-raft children?  

    And MH and I are products of the public school system and do plan on sending our children to public school. Both of us are educated soooo...

    My post certainly wasn't meant as an affront to teachers. I know many wonderful, capable teachers that do a great job. But I don't think that makes homeschooling a bad option. Where I live, homeschooling is highly regulated. You can homeschool through co-ops, so that kids are going to "school" a couple times a week. Homeschooling does not mean your kids won't be socialized. My husband is a product of public schooling and he turned out great. I'm a product of both public and homeschooling, and I turned out fine, as well. For our family, I believe homeschooling is a better option, but if you're in a good school district and are comfortable with public schooling, then go for it. 

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    imagelowkeysbride:
    Ugh... you should hear the things my class of Kindergarteners talk about.  Enough to make your toes curl!! 

    This.  My kids are very grown.  It's sad.

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    imageblindvictory:
    My post certainly wasn't meant as an affront to teachers. I know many wonderful, capable teachers that do a great job. But I don't think that makes homeschooling a bad option. Where I live, homeschooling is highly regulated. You can homeschool through co-ops, so that kids are going to "school" a couple times a week. Homeschooling does not mean your kids won't be socialized. My husband is a product of public schooling and he turned out great. I'm a product of both public and homeschooling, and I turned out fine, as well. For our family, I believe homeschooling is a better option, but if you're in a good school district and are comfortable with public schooling, then go for it. 

    No, I agree, yours wasn't.

    But even in a homeschool co-op, a child can meet another who will talk about drugs, sex, etc. These kids do not only go to public school. The argument is about these subjects coming from home not the school. You find what works for you. And Iike your OP, you'll teach your child in moderation those subjects.

    I've known many homeschooled/religious school kids who once they were out of the world went a little nuts. Not saying all but it is definitely a cultural shock and from my experience these were the kids that rebelled to the extremes. I don't believe in living a sheltered life, but like you, will expose best I can in moderation appropriate to their age.

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    I think some areas and some situations mean that homeschooling may make more sense.  But I agree with whoever upthread said that the "bad" things the kids get exposed to are rarely from the educators, but from other kids.  And it happens in "good" schools, too.  Often the good districts are the ones with over-privileged kids who have greater access to drugs and parents who are too busy or blinded to care.  The best thing is to build strong kids from the start.  They have to go into the world eventually.  The ones that thrive are the ones that have the courage to say no, who are equipped with firm principles about what is right and wrong, and who can envision their goals and futures full of happiness and fulfillment so they aren't distracted as much by short-term temptations.
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    imageauroraloo:
    imagetinabean00:

    imageblindvictory:
    That's actually part of the reason that DH and I really ARE going to homeschool. My kids need to know about drugs and alcohol and sex and all that stuff, and they need to know how to handle it...but not when they're 6. I went to a rough public school when I was a kid and I remember a boy telling us he was going to rape us. We were all of 8 years old...he shouldn't have even had a concept of what that meant, but he did. It's not that I want to shelter my kids from the harsh realities of life...it's that I want to moderate it and introduce the subjects when they're ready. 

    Except for the anecdote (wow, that's....wow), ditto.

    I know a lot of teachers around here too....and yea....I don't really want them to be teaching my kid.  Teachers have to put up with too much crap (discipline, politics, etc) that I'd rather my husband and myself (both college educated) be responsible for our children's education. 

    You're responsible for your children's education either way.

    Being college educated doesn't mean you can do the job of someone educated specifically. I'm college educated too, and have 1.5 master's degrees. I couldn't do someone's job in marketing, or law, or medicine, or teach science. If your argument is that you're both college educated, it's a faulty one. 

     

    Ok, fair point but I want to be the main educator of my children.  Just because you're educated to do something doesn't mean you're good at it either.  Not a slap to you, but not all teacher, or any profession for that matter, are created equal.  I know there are teachers around here who do it so they can have summers off with their kids...wish I could say I was just making that up.   

    I work for a university and recently went through a group of applicants for scholarships, all teachers.  Half of them couldn't format a letter correctly or use correct grammer/punctuation...and that's in something that benefits them.  Why would I want to send my child to learn from someone like that?  No, not all teachers are going to be like this, but my child will have lots of teachers in his career and why take that chance?

     I have bachelors in science and music and took several education classes before I really thought about teaching a roomful of snotty kids and changed my mind.  My husband has bachelors in english and psychology and masters in adult education and library media technology, and currently teaches freshmen at the college level to study and prepare themselves for college because their schools did a piss-poor job.  No, we don't have specific education for teaching young students, but I think we got this covered.  What we don't know we'll research and figure out.

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    UnemUnem member

    If we can afford private school, we'll be going that route.  If not, we'll likely homeschool. 

    I agree that issues with children at school stem from parenting, not teaching.  That being said, even the good teachers aren't always able to do a good job due to politics.  Many of my relatives and friends are teachers, and they are ready to quit because their job has become 75% political and 25% actually teaching.  I also had many tenure teachers in high school, and it was obvious they didn't give a crap whether or not their students were actually learning.  I once had an English final that was a crossword puzzle - and we could work in groups.

    I hate the stigma that homeschooled children are socially awkward or less able to adapt to the 'normal' world.  We all know some kids like this, and we all knows kids like this who went to public schools.  How many homeschooled people do you actually know?  I know about 20, and only a few of them are socially awkward.  Most are perfectly functioning adults who are contributing to society....(Tim Tebow, anyone?) 

    As far as parents needing a license to homeschool:  I understand the point, but I equate that to requesting that parents have a license to be parents at all.  Will some kids have a bad start in life because their parents showed the kids educational videos and called it 'school'? Yep, and I feel sorry for those kids. But just as many kids will have a bad start in life for being in a bad school system, or from being in a good school system but having no support from their parents.  After all, aren't parents supposed to take a major role in their children's education, public or homeschooled?  If parents can't teach their children, then they shouldn't be allowed to help them with homework either.

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    I COMPLETELY agree. I went from teaching kindergarten for the last couple of years, and went up to 6th grade this year. Holy mistake Batman, I had a rough year teaching ESE remedial reading to sixth graders. I am going to run back to kindergarten as fast as my legs can take me. And we are going to try a year or so of me staying at home to see if we can afford it. If we can I am SERIOUSLY considering home schooling my children. Seeing some of the things I witnessed this year was terrifying. And whats sad is that a lot of these kids are really good and innocent kids. But they are forced to "grow up" when their peers ridicule them for not doing what they are doing. Its scary. 
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    imageblindvictory:
    That's actually part of the reason that DH and I really ARE going to homeschool. My kids need to know about drugs and alcohol and sex and all that stuff, and they need to know how to handle it...but not when they're 6. I went to a rough public school when I was a kid and I remember a boy telling us he was going to rape us. We were all of 8 years old...he shouldn't have even had a concept of what that meant, but he did. It's not that I want to shelter my kids from the harsh realities of life...it's that I want to moderate it and introduce the subjects when they're ready. 

     

    Oh yeah, that reminds me. The "cool" thing to say now in sixth grade at my school is "You gettin' RAPED." I told my kids that anyone who says it is getting a disciplinary action taken immediately. I HATE that, and the meaning of the word they are using is disturbing. "But MS. its just a word!" Yeah a word that means something terrible, and certainly not something that is appropriate to discuss at school.

    Then we have the student who yelled across the room to one of my sweet girls "I heard you gave X a blow job!" Yeah these are like 10-11 year olds.  

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    imageMarisaKathleen:

    Am I the only one who doesn't live in an area with "bad" schools?  That was a really big decision when we bought our home 3 years ago--what are the schools like, and will our eventual kids have options available?  If not, then we weren't going to live there.

    I went to Catholic school when I was growing up and while I would love to send my kids to a private/religious/Montessori school, in my district it's completely not necessary.  Sure, things could change in the next 5 years until this kid is in school, but no matter where you send your kids, you have to teach them at home as well.

    One of my biggest pet peeves is people who tell me "Well their teacher isn't teaching them."  My niece is almost 6 and can't read.  Her mother thinks it's the teacher's responsibility to be teaching her, and while I can see that, it's the parent's responsibility to foster learning at home and continue the lessons. 

     This.... 

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    Todays problems arent the teachers! You will find a LOT of teachers have been around a lot longer than these new issues in todays school systems! The problem is a lack of parenting at home!!!! Its what kids are being taught at home that are making them what they are in todays school system. Yes the public school system can scary. I went to public school. It was a very small one and I survived. I came out pretty well if you ask me. Our oldest is in the local private/catholic school. I've been asked if I sent her there to avoid the negative students...?? Um, no. I am pretty sure she will still meet trouble makers in her school...I sent her there for 3 reasons :: 1) They wear uniforms and that kind of structure is important to my Dh and I. 2) Religion is part of the cirriculum and yes, God is important in our daily family life. 3) She is in a class of 9. The public school has a class of 70+. So there are new friends, classmates every year. I prefer she start with a group and end with a group. Yes, some may move away and new ones may come in but the concept is that she is in the same "class" every year! So the issue isn't the schools or teachers...its the modern day kid/parent issue. All you can do is educate your child the difference between what is wrong and right for your family. Instill your principles in her/him early. We started with her at 2-3. Did she understand? Eh, probably not...but she sure as heck has the basics down pat now at the age of 6. Talk to you kids early about the important stuff so they hear what you want them to before another kid tells them something you don't want them to think is ok. Will it prevent it all? Am I sure my child is safe from ever trying the things I don't want her to? No, I'm not positive and I won't ever be...all I can do is keep feeding her the wisdom and hope she eats it up! :)
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    This thread is getting a little side-tracked and antagonistic, but my current experience is with my current step children: SD (11 yrs), SS (7 yrs), which are both home schooled.

    I am not against homeschooling and personally grew up going to nearly every type of school possible: public elementary, private day school, public middle, public high school, home school for one semester, private boarding school for grades 10-12.

    From what I see with my step children and my own experience, I think the best choice is what is best for each individual child. Not, what we as adults find is our political stance, but what is truly best for the kid. Too often, we want to raise a child in our image, with what we *know* is most important, but our children are not us... they are individuals. Times changes, schools change, cities change. What we think now as a pregnant mom is best for our future kid, may not be best for them when they are in 1st grade or 5th grade. 

    My stepchildren are about 2-4 grade levels above the state standard. They both speak Latin fluently and study Latin grammar side by side with English. The 7 yr old is better at math than the 12 year old. The 12 year old was always better at reading... and yet the 7 year old has started reading Lord of the Rings (at his own choice). The 12 year old won the state science fair and the region's history day. Their academic development is great, better than great. Socially, they take tae kwon do, swimming, and dance lessons with other children and have other homeschool children friends. Personally, I think their birth mother restricts their perspective a bit because of her more extreme religious beliefs, but I think that has little to do with homeschooling.

    The 12 year old girl is respectful, still dresses like a kid her age (not a slutty adult), and has been able to have a normal childhood. My worse perspective of some bad school (public, private, or parochial) are the social situations which degrade a child's development, exposing children unnecessarily to things way beyond what their maturity can handle: drugs, sex, bullying, violence, etc. Just like we would not let a room full of 12 year olds educate themselves, I think we know that children need adult support in their development and teaching. I think problems come to these bad schools because of a lack of this adult support, whether at home or at school. These homeschool children have lots of adult support and are developing at a rate that is perfect for them. I think that matters much more than them being exposed every day to 100 other kids. 

    That said, I do not know whether or not we will choose to homeschool, attend public school, private school, or public school. It all depends on where we will live and the school situation at that time. Let's all just let other parents choose what is best for their children where they live. What is best for us is not necessarily best for someone else. 

    I am having trouble updating tickers--But I am due on April 2015. I have 2 older step children: 9 and 14 yrs and I also recently had 2 younger children: 2 years and 1 year... so this means I will be having 3 under 3--and trying to fit our family of 7 into our minivan--eek!


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    hmp1hmp1 member

    There is so much outside influence, we plan to actually parent our kids (such an old school concept, I know).  I've never known anyone that was home schooled (that I know of). We have no plans to home school our kids and it has never been an option in our minds. We are both educated and very good business folk, but teachers we are not.

    We live in a good school district and I have been researching private schools. So far, the "best" school is a magnet school but all the children are tested for acceptance and it is quite difficult to get in. I'm not counting on it, but we have our kids in a top education based daycare/preschool/pre-k so I'm hoping that gives DS the edge. 


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