Vent: MIL isn't inviting anyone to our shower
A few weeks ago, MIL emailed to ask about a shower because her calendar was filling up. She mentioned there is no point in throwing me a shower in her state since her friends don't know me (although, we did meet at the wedding and rehearsal dinner). She said that her and my two SIL's would come up to our state for my shower that my mom is throwing.
So, I asked her to send me addresses for anyone she wanted to invite. She replied that I already have her and the two SIL's addresses. I just find it odd that she isn't planning to invite anyone else in her family or any friends. I know she's gone to baby showers for her friend's children. I also know that between the 3 of them, they will likely not buy anything off our registry, but will buy what they like. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I guess the whole thing just sort of annoys me.
Re: Vent: MIL isn't inviting anyone to our shower
This is the perfect response.
OP, you're a selfish twit. You should be really embarrassed right now.
ETA: I feel a DD coming on.
I'm a big girl. I'm not going to DD and fully expected the comments that were given. Haven't you ever needed anyone to put you in place before?
You're right - I shouldn't want these people at my shower and I guess I don't. It honestly isn't about gifts at all (except where MIL is concerned). I just feel like, as always, she has no interest in my life and made it sound like she was doing us a favor by saying she and DH's sisters would come.
I only mentioned the registry because I put a TON of time and research into every single product that I put on there and feel like if someone is going to give me a gift (particularly someone so close), they should shop of the registry.
Hate all you want - I deserve it. With all the past things that have gone on with her, it's sometimes hard for me to see that she may not have been trying to be bitchy with every single move she makes.
That's an hour and a half each way, so 3 hours in a car for a 3 hour event for someone you don't know. Seems pretty insane to me.
You don't want to sound ungrateful, and yet you do. Your MIL has done nothing wrong. SHE is coming to YOU so that you, your friends and your family won't have to travel to HER--this makes sense and shows she is thinking of you.
As for the comments you've made about your registry--get over yourself. Sorry honey, you aren't the very first mom to put "a TON of time and research" into making your registry--pretty sure that's how most of us did it. That doesn't mean I won't be grateful for any gift that is given to me--from my registry or not. And you should be grateful as well.
You sound like a spoiled brat, and a control freak who wants things "her way"...you're in for a rude awakening when that baby comes! Good luck!
Why exactly? When it is ever okay to tell people what to give you out of the goodness of their hearts just because you put "a TON of time" into telling them what they should give you? It doesn't matter who it is; no one has to buy you exactly what you want when you want it, Veruca.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
Boooooring.
Your complaining about what again? Because from what I read you don't have anything to vent about, JS.
I don't care if you spent five minutes or five months creating a registry. It's still only a list of suggestions and people aren't required to abide by it. If others being gracious and purchasing items for you is such an inconvenience in your life, perhaps you shouldn't have agreed to a shower.
As for the distance, like a previous poster mentioned, 1.5 miles each way is a long trip. There's very few instances where I would travel that far for a shower for people I know, let alone a complete stranger.
Perspective Check:
You're mad that people you don't know that well won't travel from out of state to bring you presents that you just stated you probably won't want anyways.
Just checking to see if I'm caught up.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Yeah, I'm also team MIL. In fact, it sounds like she may have felt awkward inviting people to a shower she isn't hosting (though she may very well be excited and want to invite people)--I would feel awfully tacky giving a list of people to a hostess so she could pay for their food/drinks/favors, etc.
And FWIW, there were plenty of things that I wish experienced moms would have given me instead of the stuff I researched and put in my registry as a FTM. You just don't know how well something works until you've used it with your child.
An hour and a half is actually not that far. I've driven 3 hours to go to a baby shower before, and she was a friend, not a relative.
Um, good for you? To you that isn't far, to me it is.
OP, if you spent that much time on your registry and can't be bothered with someone god forbid not purchasing off your precious registry, then buy the items yourself. It is after all your baby!
okay, I might be going out on a limb here, but she is your mother in law, she is not your mother. She doesn't need to love nor even like you. You married her son, she needs to be respectful of you and what not, but she is not obliged to have an interest in your life.
Listen, i live with my mother in law (she and fil live in apartment in the basement of our house) and it took a long time to get our relationship to a point where it works for both of us.
I am sorry that this is hard for you and I really do understand what you are saying, but really, she owes you nothing.
Also, and again, may be out on a limb, but would it be so far off to suggest that you just back out and your mom (the hostess) should be the one to contact your MIL to extend the invite to others in DH family?
This. I am having the opposite problem in that MIL is inviting a few people I've never met to the shower DH's friend is throwing. I'm kind of uncomfortable with it and feel bad taking gifts from people that don't know us.